Chapter 29
Fear of Being Single
The fear of being single often makes us sad and morose. If you are single and have not been able to find a partner yet, it is quite normal for you to brood over your singlehood. Often thoughts of being single forever dread us so much that they make us depressed and lonely. At times, people going through such feelings start believing that they are full of imperfections and destined to lead a lonely life, for good! However, such thoughts are mere imaginations and not reality. Every individual should realize their worth and believe that they deserve to be cherished and loved.
Be Gentle with Yourself…
Every human being has an inner voice that keeps on analyzing everything that happens in your life. You find yourself engaged in both positive and negative monologues and such conversations with the self cast a deep effect on your feelings. Thus, as and when your inner voice echoes negative thoughts such as “I am unattractive”, “I am not intelligent”, “I cannot be successful”, and so on, your insecurities build up and you start considering yourself as insignificant. The trick is to be kind to yourself. You may come across people who make you feel unworthy; however, the opinion of others does not matter and criticisms of people do not define your real worth. Learn to pardon yourself for all the blunders that you have ever done and listen to the negative thoughts of your inner voice with least interest. If you continue concentrating on your drawbacks, you will soon develop the notion that no one wants to be with you.
Having enough confidence in yourself will help you know your worth in life. Self-confidence also makes your personality attractive, and makes you valuable to others as well as yourself. Thus, work on building your self esteem by growing your confidence level. By doing so you will start loving yourself and exhume positivity wherever you go. Meditate and generate encouraging self-affirmations so that you can do away with al negativity surrounding you, thereby healing yourself.
Change your attitude about the opposite gender
You may have gone through bad experiences with someone of opposite sex which has altered your attitude towards them. Such bad experiences often lead us to deduce that all men are selfish and all women are greedy. However, such act of generalizing does a lot of harm to your personality. The truth is there are lots of honest men and women who are much different from the ones you have come across. Holding negative views about the opposite gender will only strengthen your fear of mingling with another person since you develop the notion that there is not even a single good human being left on this world.
The society has always been putting significant pressure on individuals to be in a relationship; and this applies specially for women. Irrespective of how successful you are, society instills the idea that one cannot be truly happy if one does not have a partner in one’s life. This concept portrays singlehood as an utter failure. However, the fact is that singlehood cannot be counted as failure. It is totally your choice to be single or in relationship. If you want to enter into a relationship, you are free to do so; but if you want to wait till you find the right person or to heal your heart from the pain of a previous relationship, you are free to do that as well.
The trick is to transform your attitude towards singlehood. As soon as you change your perspective and generate a positive view about yourself, you will no longer fear the idea of singlehood. In fact, singlehood is a golden opportunity to grow and know yourself.