JUDGMENT
After hours upon hours of spiritual autolysis, I finally wrote something that is true:
Judgment is the source of all pain and suffering.
This might only be true for me, but I doubt it.
If you’re like I, and many other people, you’ve had a personal experience confirming this truth you might not have recognized….
Have you ever thought you cut yourself with a sharp knife, maybe while slicing vegetables, but you weren’t sure; so you stopped slicing and took a look, and then you saw the blood. When did the pain start? Not until you saw the blood and judged the injury to be painful. The cut itself caused no pain until you looked at it.
There are many other examples of people not experiencing very painful injuries because they were focused on something else, like saving a child from a car accident; and only when they stopped to take a look at themselves – or when a doctor or nurse had them focus on their own injuries – did they feel any pain. This, of course, is one of the theories behind firewalking and other popular motivational ceremonies.
Normally, however, we judge an experience to be painful – either physically or mentally or emotionally – as soon as it happens, or maybe even before it happens. We also go through life pre-judging that any number of different experiences would be painful if we should ever encounter them. But it is the judgment that creates the pain and suffering and not the experience itself.
All holographic experiences created by all Infinite I’s for all Players are completely neutral. It is only the Player’s judgmental reactions and responses to those experiences that cause the drama and conflict and pain and suffering.
There, in a nutshell, is the answer to the age-old question of why “God” would create pain and suffering in the world. “He” doesn’t. “We” do, by our reactions and responses to totally neutral holographic experiences.
* * *
Inside the movie theater, the lives of the Human Children are based entirely on judgment. They thrive on the concept; they literally cannot imagine living without it, and some object strenuously and even get angry at the very suggestion. How could one possibly survive without judging everything to be “good” or “bad,” “right” or “wrong,” “better” or “worse”? Of course, they can hardly imagine living without the drama and conflict, either; nor do they seem to want to.
All the world’s major religions and spiritual philosophies have judgment at their core as well. “God” is the supreme judge, for example, and “He” will judge you and your thoughts and actions to determine whether you will have an eternal life of bliss or damnation.
All social mores (“any given society's particular norms, virtues or values,”1 or “conformity to the rules of right conduct”2) are based on judgment of what is “right” or “wrong” behavior; and we have set up “judges” to make those determinations in court.
But as Human Children make their way to the back of the movie theater, after a while some of them start to question judgment as a concept. Perhaps it’s not so “good,” so “right,” so “spiritual” to be so judgmental of other people. However, not even the Human Adults talk in any serious way about giving up judgment entirely.
All of this is totally understandable and perfect, since judgment is the glue that keeps the illusion going in the first half of the Human Game.
Letting go of judgment entirely is perhaps the most radical step any human being can take, which is why this book is subtitled, “A New & Radical Approach to Spiritual Evolution.” It is also a most joyful way to live, for without judgment all experiences “out there” are seen as perfect and nothing needs to be changed, fixed, or improved.
Now that you’re in the cocoon, I’m suggesting it’s time to let go of judgment altogether if you want to play the second half of the Game and complete your metamorphosis into a butterfly. So let’s take a closer look at “judgment” itself.
Like “consciousness,” apparently it’s not easy to define “judgment” simply and precisely. Here’s what the American Heritage Dictionary says (taking out the legal and religious definitions):
1. The formation of an opinion after consideration or deliberation
2. The mental ability to perceive and distinguish relationships; discernment
3. The capacity to form an opinion by distinguishing and evaluating
4. The capacity to assess situations or circumstances and draw sound conclusions; good sense
5. An opinion or estimate formed after consideration or deliberation, especially a formal or authoritative decision
6. An assertion of something believed.3
…and here’s what the Merriam-Webster Dictionary says:
1. A formal utterance of an authoritative opinion
2. The process of forming an opinion or evaluation by discerning and comparing
3. A proposition stating something believed or asserted.4
At first glance, you might say these definitions have nothing to do with “right” or “wrong,” “better” or “worse,” “good” or “bad,” since those particular words are hardly mentioned. But take a closer look….
“Drawing sound conclusions” requires a judgment that there are “unsound conclusions.” Having “good sense” requires a judgment of there being “bad sense.”
“Distinguishing relationships,” “evaluating,” “comparing” all imply and require a “comparison” – usually between “right and wrong,” “good and bad,” "better or worse," or “good and evil.”
Let’s also talk about what judgment is not. Saying someone is fat, for example, is not a judgment if it is a true statement of fact. It becomes a judgment if there is the slightest belief the person is “wrong” for being fat, or needs to fix, change, or improve something about their “fatness.” Unfortunately, it’s very easy for the ego to try to hide and justify a judgment by claiming it is really just a factual observation; so in the early stages of the cocoon it is often wise to treat all thoughts and statements like this as judgmental.
The truth is that we are all taught from a very young age to be judgmental; that is, to form a belief and opinion about someone or something by deciding first which is “better or worse.” In fact, we’re taught it’s “good” to have “good judgment,” and to know the difference between these dichotomies.
This is called “duality – the state or quality of being two or in two parts.”5
We all live in a state of duality as long as we are inside the movie theater.
* * *
If “duality” is “the state or quality of being two or in two parts” – the dichotomies of “right and wrong,” “good and bad,” “better and worse,” “good and evil” – then living without judgment, without dichotomies, should be called “non-duality.” However, that word has been taken to mean something else by a lot of different groups inside the movie theater. In fact, non-duality seems to have become the latest New Age fad, although it’s been around for a long time, beginning with the Upanishads (“advaita”) through ancient Greece to Buddhism and Yoga and Zen.
Apparently it has more to do with “Oneness,” or monism (“reality is a unified whole and all existing things can be ascribed to or described by a single concept or system6)….
“I no longer see myself as a separate individual living in a world of separate objects but feel more like a wave belonging to the one ocean of energy. There is a non-dualistic view of the world that has replaced the previously held, vastly smaller self-identity. Dropping the concept of being a separate self caused an energetic expansion from the limited boundaries of the body outwards into everything. A child-like joy and wonder has replaced the adult critic. Somehow it is recognized that life’s essence is a single unity.”7
I had trouble getting my head around that one since I don’t speak New Age. (We’ll talk more about this in Chapter Twenty-Five, “Are We All One?”, in Part Three of this book.) But then I ran across….
“Nonduality is a hard concept to grasp at first because the mind is trained to make distinctions in the world, and nondualism is the rejection of distinction.”8
The rejection of distinction… Hooray! I thought. Looks like someone gets it... and then he added….
“Not to say that all differences are eliminated, merely transformed into relationships.”9
Oops, sorry, I don’t get it. What does that mean? Where are the lines talking about our daily judgments, which themselves are relationships between “good” and “bad,” etc.
Then I discovered there are thousands upon thousands of pages of books and other stuff written about non-duality. Apparently it is quite a difficult subject to grasp and explain.
But I don’t see the problem or the need for all these books. What is there to explain? Give up judgment, let go of the dichotomies, stop living in duality. End of story.
Well, if we can’t call the state of living in non-judgment “non-duality,” what can we call it? Unfortunately, I couldn’t come up with any really cool term, so I settled on “neutrality” for now.
* * *
It seems the feeling we get the longer we remain a Human Adult – that deep-down wondering whether being so judgmental is such a “good” thing after all – has some basis in truth. Thanks to quantum physics and the Human Game model, we now know there really is nothing to judge. The holographic movies we call our lives are not real, so what good does it do to judge them? The experiences we have, created for us by our own Infinite I down to the smallest detail, are perfect exactly as they are and totally neutral, so what’s to judge? And who are we to think we have the ability or the authority to decide what is “right” or “wrong” anyway, and on what basis?
No, spirituality is not required any more in order to give up judgment; you don’t have to “believe” it’s “better” to be non-judgmental. Although it might sound very radical, once you truly understand how our holographic universe works, letting go of all judgment is simply the next logical step.
Many people, when they get to this point, can’t go any further. “It’s absolutely necessary,” they say, “to know the difference between right and wrong. Without judgment, someone could do anything they wanted and the world would be in chaos.”
My first response is to ask, “How do you think we’ve done so far with judgment?” Isn’t it judgment that has led to wars, violence, persecution, discrimination, inquisitions, witch hunts, jealousy, divorce, murder, torture, oppression, and a whole list of other traditional human activities?
It’s true we’ve been told and taught and believed for the entire first half of the Human Game that judgment is absolutely necessary; and rightfully so, because it was essential for the first half to work. But just like we finally discovered the Earth is not flat, nor is it the center of our solar system, it’s time to recognize our own judgment is the basic cause of our resistance to our experiences and therefore all of our pain and suffering. The opposite of everything is true: It’s the judgment that causes the chaos, not the lack of it!
Besides, “someone could do anything they wanted and the world would be in chaos” is a statement that assigns power “out there” and ignores the fact that the “someone” and the “world” referred to are part of your individual and unique holographic experience, and nothing more. They have no independent, objective reality.
I ran across this essay on the Internet written in strictly Christian terms by someone who’s clearly not an “expert” in anything (like me), and maybe his phrasing can help others understand this better….
“God is all-loving, so there cannot be a favored mode of conduct (or thought) in the eyes of God. If there is no favored mode of thought and conduct, then all thought and action must be allowed by God. Therefore there is no universal standard of thought or conduct, only personal ones. If all thought and action are allowed, there can be no "right" way or "wrong" way. There cannot be any judgment of thought or action, otherwise there are conditions placed on thought and action. If there are no conditions placed on thought and action by the Creator, then there is no right or wrong! Right and wrong must then be a human concept, not a universal one. Jesus said: 'Resist not Evil' (Matthew 5:39) Jesus understood universal law. There is no evil, only contrast and diversity of thought and conduct. Evil, just like right and wrong, is a judgment, usually based in fear, placed upon the thoughts and actions of others. The more something is resisted, the more energy is supplied to it, and the larger and more powerful it becomes.”10
* * *
Speaking of Christianity, one of the biggest “hints” and “clues” that letting go of judgment is the next radical step for human beings is in plain sight in the first Book of the Holy Bible…
“And out of the ground made the Lord God to grow every tree that is pleasant to the sight, and good for food; the tree of life also in the midst of the garden, and the tree of knowledge of good and evil.”11
Please note that in the middle of the Garden of Eden there was not just one tree, but two trees: the Tree of Life, and the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil.
Then God created man and woman…
“And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.”12
Please note that there was no judgment from the man or woman about their nakedness at this point. Unfortunately, this lack of shame didn’t last long. A snake convinced the woman, who then convinced the man, to eat some fruit from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil…
“And the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together, and made themselves aprons.”13
Eating from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil marked the beginning of judgment for the human race. Not only did the man and woman judge that being naked was now something to be ashamed of and to hide, but they also judged that they had done something wrong. From this point forward, life on Earth would be full of the dichotomies of “good and evil,” “right and wrong,” “better and worse,” and it remains that way today.
So much for the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, which is just another name for the Tree of Judgment.
What about the Tree of Life? What was its effect on man when he ate from it?
Unfortunately, according to the Bible, God drove man out of the Garden of Eden before he could eat from the Tree of Life, leaving the human race to live its entire existence thus far in judgment.
“Therefore the LORD God sent him forth from the garden of Eden, to till the ground from whence he was taken.”14
That’s how the Bible begins. But how does it end?
From the last Book of the Bible, “Revelation”…
“To him that overcometh will I give to eat of the Tree of Life, which is in the midst of the paradise of God.”15
So mankind is finally going to get to eat from the Tree of Life, if he “overcometh.” But “overcometh” what?
In its context, the meaning is clear: “overcometh” judgment, “overcometh” what started with eating from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil.
Contrary to popular opinion, the Book of Revelation is not about the end of the world, or even the final battle between Good and Evil that Good wins (because it doesn’t); and although it is usually talked about as “Armageddon,” that word only appears once in the entire book (at Revelation 16:16) and probably refers to an actual location some sixty miles north of Jerusalem.16
Instead, the Book of Revelation is about the realization (the "revelation") that “good” and “evil” are judgments and the battle is to let go of both of them. In fact, the Bible can be seen not only as the story of mankind’s evolution, but as the storyline of a single individual (but that metaphor would fill another book in itself).
Or, if you prefer the poet Rumi:
“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field17.”
You’ll recall that The Field is defined as “a field of all possibility18” – not just possibilities that are “right” in someone’s judgment, but all possibilities. It is from this Field that an Infinite I creates an experience for its Player, and considering its source (The Field), that experience cannot be “right” or “wrong” either.
* * *
You might be thinking I am falling into my own trap and judging “judgment” to be “wrong.” Not so. Judgment was the perfect tool to play the first half of the Human Game, for it created the maximum amount of limitation. It simply doesn’t work in the second half. It is part of the caterpillar whose “larval structures are broken down.”
“But… but… but,” you say, “how can I look around at the horrible things going on in the world – crime, poverty, disease, starvation, destruction of the Earth, war, violence, child abuse, domestic abuse, and so on – and say those things are okay, that they’re ‘neutral,’ that I’m not supposed to judge them? I don’t want those things in my life, or anyone else’s for that matter. Where’s your heart? Where’s your compassion for the pain and suffering of others?”
Good questions – too good to pass over lightly in this chapter. So if you are really having trouble getting past this point, I recommend you read Chapter Thirty-Two, “Compassion,” in Part Three of this book, and then come back here to continue.
As far as “not wanting those things in your own life,” that’s called “resistance,” which we will discuss very soon.
* * *
It had been a long time since I had felt any discomfort at all. I was simply appreciating life with great joy, living on the Mediterranean coast of Spain and writing this book.
Then, as I was working on this particular chapter, I mentioned to a good friend a news item that Spain was trying to outlaw the Muslim burqa as France had recently done. I was amazed when he responded with full and unequivocal support for this, and then launched into a list of judgmental opinions about the burqa, Muslim men, Islam, and religion in general. I had listened patiently to other similarly judgmental opinions and beliefs on different topics over the last month, as I knew he was deep into his own process and these things would naturally come up; but this was more than I expected.
I had three immediate reactions: incredulity, disappointment, and sadness.
When I first met this friend, he was an angry, arrogant, highly opinionated and depressed man, with a very big and stubborn ego, but a huge and generous heart and a willingness to learn and grow. I say all that as an observation and none of it as a judgment, since I didn’t think he was “wrong” for being that way and had no need or desire for him to change; besides, I was exactly that way myself while a Human Adult inside the movie theater. But I witnessed many changes in him over the past year of our friendship, mainly as a result of his studying the work of Robert Scheinfeld, reading all three of Jed McKenna’s books, and numerous conversations we had on the subject of the holographic universe and becoming a butterfly. I really could not believe what I was hearing this time, since he seemed totally comfortable with these opinions and showed no sign of recognizing their fully judgmental basis or the need to process them if he truly wanted to live in neutrality.
For about fifteen seconds I did judge him for this incident and wanted him to change, but quickly remembered he, too, was only reading a script my own Infinite I had written for me, and that his thinking and behavior were indeed perfect – which meant I had to run the Process on my own discomfort and do my spiritual autolysis on it.
I saw clearly that my disappointment came from the thought – and fear – that I really was alone. My friend, in his interest in self-realization, had given me hope that it was possible for friends to go through this process together, to support each other, to even form a community of cocoons, and then later butterflies. We had spent hours talking about building a catamaran together and inviting others to sail with us for week-long workshops to get a taste of what it was like to live in non-judgmental neutrality. Even though I knew making plans like these was pointless – that my Infinite I was in charge of creating all my experiences and not me – I totally enjoyed the daydreaming and loved the camaraderie. But how, I thought, could I continue talking like that – talking about providing an environment of non-judgment for others – with a man who was still justifying his own judgments.
My sadness was based on the question – and fear – that this whole subject was too much for anyone to really “get” if he didn’t get at least that much after a year of working with me on a daily basis; and that I may be totally wasting my time writing this book. I imagined Jed McKenna looking at him and saying that Maya was winning the war for his ego – that most people don’t make it through the cocoon stage – and sadly wondered what would happen to him if that were true.
“I can’t go back, can I?” asked Neo.
“No,” Morpheus answered.
* * *
So I ran Robert’s Process on all this emotional discomfort, and then I used spiritual autolysis to expose the underlying fears. This is where I found layers of my own ego, one of them still thinking this book might have an impact on someone else, rather than just being my scouting report; another layer of ego, despite what I told other people and all evidence to the contrary, still feeling arrogant enough to think it just might be possible to help each other as friends through this process.
I had to let go of my attachment to the boat and the future it represents; I had to let go of my attachment to this book and any result it may or may not have for anyone else; and I had to let go of my attachment to my friend’s own spiritual progress toward becoming a butterfly. After all, there must be a lot of different routes one can take over the Rockies to get to the Pacific Ocean, and I wouldn’t – and couldn’t – judge which way was “right” for my friend. I have to trust his Infinite I knows what’s best for him a lot better than I do, and the fact I would like him to take the same route I did just because I think it’s safer or easier than the one he appears to be taking has no relevance.
I silently expressed my appreciation to my friend and let go of it all – the boat, the camaraderie, the ego that still wanted to be a good enough writer that other people would understand what I was saying and might be able to use it successfully in their own lives.
In this case, I didn’t have to disconnect from my friend at all. All I had to do was let go of my own attachments and layers of ego, and then he was free to be who he was as well, without needing to be who I wanted him to be.
There’s another possibility I had to consider too, that my friend really does understand neutrality, but he had to “play dumb” so I could have the experience I needed. He might wake up and know exactly what neutrality is and means, and wonder how he could have possibly said those things today. That’s what friends can do for each other – play the difficult and dangerous roles in their movies, giving each other the special gifts that may not be possible from anyone else.
As Human Children and Human Adults inside the movie theater, we lived our entire lives in judgment, in duality. It’s not going to be easy to change that pattern, and it probably won’t happen quickly; and you are going to be the one who has to spot your own judgments that need to be processed if you want to become a butterfly.
* * *
Sometimes this can be very difficult. Sometimes the ego, sensing a real threat to its continued existence, will try anything and everything to slow you down or divert you; and sometimes that takes the form of some very inviting detours from the path with some intriguing logic whispered in your ear. For example, after a year of processing in his cocoon, one friend was about to enter his “dark night of the soul,” getting close to a powerful layer of his ego which he would then detach if he continued in that direction. He was having a lot of emotional discomfort, and his ego was able to convince him to stop doing any kind of process and take a “detour.” So he started challenging the theory of the “consciousness model” itself – not by testing it, which is always appropriate, but by intellectually arguing with it, as if by proving some part of it “wrong” he could escape processing his anger and judgments. But there never is any escape; the way out is the way through.
If this model is anywhere close to the truth, unless he finds a new route across the Rocky Mountains I’m not aware of, this friend will most likely have to pick up where he left off and then face what he could not face the first time. But there’s nothing “wrong” with that, with taking a break for a while, with standing still and regrouping and gathering new strength, like stopping on the way up Mt. Everest and resting at a base camp, getting used to the altitude and the cold. But why not simply admit that’s what you want to do and not give the ego additional power by listening to its diversions and using them as an excuse for not continuing at that moment?
Learning to differentiate the sound of your ego from the sound of your own thoughts takes practice and radical honesty. The only help I can offer is that whenever the “thought” is trying to take you away from discomfort, it is the ego, no matter how rational or attractive the “thought” may be. There’s a big difference between taking a “detour” off the path out of the pure excitement and joy of exploration, and doing it in order to escape discomfort.
Your friends might help by playing a part in the movie created for you by your Infinite I to bring these judgments and the voice of your ego to your attention, if you’re willing to hear it. But you are going to have to be completely awake and aware and vigilant, and listen to your thoughts and the words you say very carefully, to detect these judgments when they come creeping in, to h