Ho’ Oponopono, the Path to Peace
Self-forgiveness, self-reflection, self-help.
Michael Jackson’s song, Man in the Mirror, is easily one of my top ten songs. There’s magic in it. It is chalk full of Buddhism. It is the epitome of psychological research, as foundational as Jungian therapy- “if you want to change the world, take a look at yourself and make the change.”
That may sound easy, but it’s actually harder to change yourself than you think. Partly because it is all too easy to get caught up in the world-wind and blaming external agencies. Yes, Whirlwind pun. What if there was a formula for you to test the theory of self-change equals world change?
Understanding Ho’oponopono — the Ancient Hawaiian Art of Forgiveness
This is not a gimmick. It’s powerful. It leads to change. You cannot not change yourself and not see a change in others. We are all intricately connected in a myriad of unseen ways. Imagine a mobile hanging over your baby’s crib. All those little floaties want to stay in their orbits because they’re attached. Change the weight of one, and the configuration will change. There might be
resistance as the mobile itself wants to maintain the original orbit, but weight on one piece will necessarily change the configuration.
In all things related to your life there is one constant. YOU. So, yes, for once in your life, it is true- you are the center of the universe. All first person perspectives are centers. You are the protagonist of your story, by default positional awareness.
What I am telling you is not new. It’s not new age. It’s fundamental. Narrative therapy- we unpack your life like a story, in which everyone and everything is a character that relates to you.
Mind you, we’re unpacking you, the central figure, the pivot point where all themes and agencies must necessarily revolve around.
From the perspective of Carl Jung, and many other foundational psychiatrists and psychologists, Eric Milton is another, your subconscious mind, and it’s programming, rule your life. This has been measurably demonstrated over and over, and yet- the one thing science has the highest degree of confidence on- that subconscious rules our life- and still we have the highest rates of avoidance technologies and theories that focus on subconscious programming. Maybe that’s a conspiracy. If you knew agencies are using psychology at the grocery store to get you to buy
‘impulse items,’ market strategies would be less effective.
We should not be afraid of hypnosis and Ouija boards! The only thing under the hood is us.
This essay goes beyond awareness of market ploys to steal your money. Remember the book ‘the Secret?’ Joe Vitale, the law of attraction, that kind of stuff. His work, and work like it, does well because there is a truth to it that we all recognize. It is more complicated in some ways than simply wishing for money. You have a relationship with money, subconsciously, and you interact with it per your programming.
Change your programming, Change your world.
If you practice the formula that comes with Ho’ Oponopono, you will change your programming.
When you change your programming, you will change how others relate to you. It’s that simple.
It’s super-bizarrely effective. It is so effective it will feel like magic. Due to my spiritual inclinations, I don’t want to rule out magic, but I can explain this from a completely, academic, psychological overlay.
Carl Jung, projection, shadow work. All your feelings and reactions are yours. Your thoughts, feelings, and behavior attract what you get- at conscious and subconscious levels! No matter what you experience, you SUMmoned it. Math- summed it, summon, asSUMed- yes, you’re doing math. That’s all your brain does, math! There is no difference between a mathematician and magician- it’s all math.
No matter what shit show someone brings you. Your reactions, your responses, are yours. There are a thousand responses to any situation or person. If rolling your eyes and giving someone the bird gets bad results, try changing that instead of trying to change others. What, you really want to brow beat someone into accepting eye rolls and middle finger without escalating?
Every counseling session I have personally been in for me, and as professional for other, the one truth frequently confronted is ‘we can’t change others- but you’re here! With me, right now.
What have you tried, what are you willing to try, good ideas! Now, let’s get out there and play ball.’
If you are rolling your eyes- that indicate at minimum, you’re annoyed, you have expectations, and that the resistance to flow is in you. Psychologically, metaphysically, and physically- flow is important. So is resistance, so the advice here isn’t necessarily to rid yourself of all resistance, right? If the goal is to get a drink of water from the hose, you don’t want to block it with thumb and power stream it into your face.
If you assume, for the sake of argument, that all encounters you experience with others was brought to you by you, subconsciously, or even super-consciously, then all actors participating with you are bringing you what you need to change or reinforce your position. Subconsciously, everyone that comes at you will mirror what you need the most!
That’s the law. People are mirrors. If someone gives you something, it’s because you are already giving it to them.
Seriously, that’s the law. If you have a feeling of hate at someone, even a complete stranger and you can’t consciously detect the ‘why’ behind the hate- it’s because there is something inside you that you hate. You’re suppressing self-knowledge. When you feel hate or anger at an outside agency, they are reminding you something about you.
Mind you, I am not telling you to suppress, restrict, or resist your hate response. I am telling you to own it. Recognize it. Understand it. Integrate it. Forgive it. Love it. Thank it. Apologize for not recognizing it earlier.
We don’t like ourselves. That is true more often than not. Yeah, we go out of our way to do things for ourselves, but we also hate ourselves. We are our own harshest critique. Justifying spoiling ourselves could be evidence of self hatred, just as being overly indulgent in deprivation.
Consciously- you might hear yourself say ‘I deserve this,’ or the opposite, “I don’t deserve this.’
Very rarely does our conscious mind ask, “What lurks beneath that might have drawn this to me?”
We’re not trained to self-reflect to this degree. This is a martial arts level engagement.
SAMA-Training, featured below, has saved my butt from angry other more than any other thing I
have ever learned. It mirrors this truth found in psychology, and exemplified in the Hawaiian concept of Ho’ Oponopono. Instead of controlling, you accept other. In accepting other- as they are, where they are- emotions are dissipated and healing begins.
Ho’ Oponopono is SAMA turned inwards!
Ho’ Oponopono takes this deeper, we accept others by first accepting ourselves. ‘Ihaleakala Hew Len, who healed every patient in the criminally insane Hawaii State Hospital without ever seeing a single patient. To do all of this, he used the famous Hawaiian Ho’oponopono technique of healing and regeneration.’ In the Next Level Soul video below, Joe Vitale shares that story.
Outside agency, insane criminals. Sometimes people engage in unwanted behaviors. All of us.
Are you already arguing? I agree rolling your eyes is not the same thing as murder. But is murder born in rolling your eyes? If you get so indignant that your position is so right that rolling your eyes is necessary, why not be more assertive? If you’re right, there is no need for passive aggressive behaviors. Just be upfront and say, ‘I am right you’re wrong.’
(Cut scene from Matilda: I am big you’re small, I am right you’re wrong, and there is nothing
“John, in this world, my friend Jimmy Stewart told me this, he always called me John, in this world, you can be all so right, or all so nice. I prefer nice.” You can quote me, of course. Nice, in this instant, means being compassionate. Compassionate to yourself.
Kind to yourself!
When you are self-reflecting to the degree that every emotion, every behavior, from eye rolling to flipping people off, is not scrutinized but acknowledged, you become a powerful force of nature. You can’t hold that level of awareness and not see visible changes in the world.
If you are sleep walking, you bump into things. When you’re aware- the world is alive and magical!
And so, here we are. The magic formula for changing yourself. Not others. You. This is for your eyes only. We are no longer in the business of changing others. We are in the self-help business.
No matter what it is that you’re struggling with, your response will be this four phrased mantra:
“I am sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you.”
That’s the formula. Commit it to memory. Don’t get hung up on the order. 2 plus 3 plus 1 plus 4
equals the same as 1 plus 2 plus 3 plus 4. Seriously, this is not rocket science.
“I am sorry.” This is recognition that I have authority and power in this world, and in all things.
The moment I incarnated I was given agency to be me. Any me I want. I have a choice to come at something with love and compassion- or hate and control. I apologize for coming at you so strong. I see me in you. I want to treat you as I would have you treat me, but to do that I must necessarily first treat myself the way I would want to be treated.
“Please forgive me.” I don’t know everything. I get things wrong. I will sometimes forget who I am and who I want to be: A Starfleet Officer on an Away Mission to demonstrate one thing-
“I love you.” If you are saying this correctly, you are saying it to yourself. All of these things are to you, your person. Your avatar. Your personality. Your character. Your ego. Seriously! Stop trying to kill your ego, you murderous bastards! Your ego is bigger than you are, you’re not going to kill it. You could forgive it, work with it, even love it. Seriously, how the fuck would you feel if every day you had to worry about your spouse trying to kill you? As long as you’re in this life, you’re married to your ego. Kindness…
“John, I love you. I am sorry I brought that judgement at you. Forgive me.”
“Thank you.” Thank you for this life. Thank you for this point of reference. Thank you for my perspective. Thank you for this opportunity to be me and to participate in this life with others.
Thank you for this life. Thank you for choosing all these co-authors and actors who have graciously agreed to play every part that I needed to grow.
Thank you, for everything you bring to the table.
Thank you, you.
I love you. Forgive me. I am sorry. Thank you.
Now that you have the formula, and you realize you can do this math, because it’s just simple arithmetic, not magic, go be that bright light of change in your world.
