RESPONDING WELL
INTERPRETATION OF EVENTS LEADS TO EMOTIONS
Determines our emotional well-being"
An illustration:
Here is an example of the aforementioned quote in "action":
The scene:
Three different people each peak out their respective home windows to check on the weather. It started to rain. Three possible reactions could be…
Reaction #1:
"Darn, now I can’t go for a walk" (anger surfaced because event controlled how they felt).
Reaction #2:
"Yes, it’s starting to rain. We really need the water and its fun to walk in the drizzles, get wet and even kick a puddle like kids do on the way to school" (elation surfaced because event was not "allowed" to ruin this person’s mood).
Reaction #3:
"Oh well, I’ll just take an umbrella during my walk" (neural response that didn’t stop the walk)
All three encountered the same event: the rain. But their evaluation of the circumstances generated different reactions.
Life is the same way. For example one person could be feeling desperate and defeated in light of some bad news about a health condition. Another may allow for some of these perfectly normal reactions but chooses to see the event as an opportunity for friends/family to come together. Further, they might welcome the chance to trust God for His miraculous healing power, not otherwise pursued.
28. SCQ:
RELIGIOUS APPLICATION SYNOPSIS:
Paul says:
"Rejoice in the Lord always and again I say, rejoice… for I have learned how to be content in whatever state I am. I know how to be abased fed or going hungry, having a sufficiency and enough to spare or going without and being in want. I have strength for all things in Christ who empowers me and live humbly in difficult circumstances, and I know also how to enjoy plenty and live in abundance. I have learned the secret of facing every situation, whether well"
(Phil 4:4, 11-13)
Paul learned that Christ was His source of power that could withstand anything.
ABCDE FORMULA/HANDOUT FOR THOUGHT TRANSFORMATION
Last week we learned the ABC method. Today we are introduced to an extension of that method by adding a "D" and "E" to the end. (Note: The ABC method is not found anywhere… You have to provide it so I can fix it up)
D: Disputing
We ask ourselves multiple questions to bring into question just how accurate our original belief or negative thoughts really are. We might ask ourselves "What evidence do I have that this belief is true? What evidence do I have that the opposite is true? " Sometimes the situation can’t change. In this event we need to look for evidence that you can manage it. Evidence can be found in such things as your innate abilities, past experiences, support persons, and resources.
E: Effective
The answers we derive from these disputing questions, such as about evince, will result in step E: Effective new beliefs, new emotions and behavioral consequences.
As Christians:
This process gives us the chance to replace unhelpful thoughts with biblical truths such as those in your weekly "Thankformations". The Scriptures compare our minds to a place of war or type of battlefield. Our goal is to pinpoint negative threats, challenge them and make sure they are in line with what God says.
In 2 Cor. 10:3-5 we are challenged to examine and not believe everything that goes through our mind. The Bible gives us instructions for waging war as God would do. He uses mighty supernatural weapons not bullets and swords. By quoting scripture or meditating on a biblical truth we join God in a partnership in this war. Together we can tear down the strongholds or over powering influence of such things as human reasoning. This destroys false argument, as we capture these errant thoughts and bring them to our Lord in obedience to Christ.
ABCDE METHOD FOR THOUGHT TRANSFORMATION WORKSHEET
Select a situation to examine and respond to the following:
Activating situation:
What were the circumstances surrounding your negative thoughts/emotions.
Beliefs:
What unhelpful thoughts and aspirations automatically went through your mind?
Consequent Feelings and Actions:
What painful feelings did these beliefs or expectations lead to: Rate each feeling using a scale of 1-10, where 10 is very painful. What behaviors did these beliefs and feelings lead to?
Dispute the Beliefs and Deal with the Situation:
Is there any evidence that those beliefs or expectations are not totally accurate or true?
Describe the contrary evidence. Specify the unhelpful thought category that best describes the error in the belief. Even if the situation cannot change, what evidence do you have that you could manage it (based on your talents, past experience, support persons and/or resources?
Religious Beliefs and Resources:
How can your view of God, your Christian worldview, the Bible and religious writings, spiritual wisdom and other sources provide evidence that challenge your automatic negative beliefs and thoughts that you can’t cope?
Effective New Belief and Consequence:
What is a different way to now look at the situation? How did your feelings change after you looked at the situation differently? Rate each feeling using a scale of 1-10, when 10 is very painful.
An adaptation of a model by *Carol Vivian at get.gg.com
ABCDE form completion instructions:
Select a thought from your log completed before. Dispute your negative thought by coming up with effective new beliefs. Pinpoint the new emotional and behavioral consequences of new beliefs. Write your answers down on the ABCD worksheet.
INCORPORATING FAITH
Let’s examine some of the most important beliefs that make up your faith tradition. For most people trusting in God is a significant value and practice. Often we have negative thoughts and feelings because we don’t realize their presence replaces the trust that faith teaches us. For example many people have trouble coping with difficult situations. One aspect of our hesitancy could be that we are focused more on the negatives and not coping with the situation. You will obviously need to explore the reasons for some of your deep-seated beliefs and corresponding actions.
In most instances, using this Faith Based Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) model, one can use their beliefs and practices to fend off negativity. For example, someone may not cope well with tough circumstances. Use the skill of evaluating your religious beliefs to come up with a spiritual resource to aid the situation. Uncovering unconscious beliefs about not trusting God is a bold undertaking and requires some honest self-reflection.
This new habit won’t occur over night. You need to recall the faith beliefs and practices that are significant to you. Then use creative ways to remind yourself about this religious resource – like the concept of trusting in God, as the only way to please Him.
In between sessions and in your journaling time, see if you can list some positive verses or aspects of your theology that you could begin applying to an unhelpful belief or action that is not in line with your God-given potential. Over time you will master this skill of challenging automatic thoughts that may not be in line with the will of God. Work on developing this practice into a habit and you will be overjoyed with the results.
DISPUTING QUESTIONS
To help you with the "D" part of the aforementioned method please find below some questions to help you dispute or at least think about the possibility that your first impression may not be true.
1. Do I know for certain that __________________________________?
Example: Do I know for certain that I won’t have anything to say?
2. Am I 100% sure that _____________________________________?
Example: Am I 100% sure that my anxiety will show?
3. What evidence do I have that_______________________ ?
What evidence do I that the opposite is true?
Example : What evidence do I have that they didn’t understand my speech? What evidence do I have that they did understand my speech?
4. What is the worst thing that could happen? How bad is that? How can I cope with that?
5. Do I have a crystal ball?
6. Is there another explanation for ______________________________ ?
Example: Is there another explanation for his refusal to have coffee with me?
7. Does _______________ have to lead to or equal _________________ ?
Example: Does "being nervous" have to lead to or equal "looking stupid"?
8. Is there another point of view?
What does_________________ mean? Does _________ really mean that _____ ?
Example: What does "looking like an idiot" mean? Does the fact that I stumbled over my words really mean that I look like an idiot?