CHAPTER 65
THINK BEFORE YOU JUDGE
If you’ve attended or watched a court case, this writ is familiar terrain. Some years back as a little boy, I had fancied becoming a lawyer. I loved the respect and aura that characterized the profession; however I had struggled with some deficiencies. I wasn’t quite vocal and I seemed the science oriented type with strong genius in mathematics and vocational aptitude. But I had always had the longing to have justice reign in our one-sided, biased and ruthless society.
It seems characteristic of our pervasive society, truth has lost its place. A lack of order pervades the system and we feel contented with the norm that this pervasion is becoming. We call it the “naija factor”. Overtime we have developed an overwhelming welcoming mane towards any behavior untoward. This reflects in how we overlook the quest for truth and support mischief. Whether in our family, amongst friends, with our neighbors or acquaintances, these societal deficiencies reveal themselves in no small measure.
Conflicts find their way into relationships however well the strife to protect it. A third party often acts as mediator like you have the judge having to stand in between the lawyers of two conflicting parties in a court case. The judge often has to be impartial while he strives to listen to both parties build their facts and reasons why each party should be considered ahead of the other. In some cases though, we’ve had judges or mediators who give faulty judgments thus favoring the wrong person to the detriment of the other based on faulty premises made available to him.
In family relationships, conflicts abound though of the informal nature where maybe a parent has a challenge with his child and they both have to seek things out. A third party who sometimes may be the other parent or relative tries to help out in the uniting process. In most cases, what happens is, there is a skew towards offering judgment to favor one party against available evidence.
Our society is often entrenched in conflict. These conflicts begin with simple disagreements which could have being resolved in more traditional ways. However, these conflicts escalate dew to bias judgments. The person who acts as judge chooses to hear just one side of the story and act on this story. Life’s experience has shown that we cannot afford to listen to only one person or side in a conflict. It pays to listen to both parties. It allows for credibility.
The results of bias judgments has being catastrophic. Bias judgment of an event can have lasting implications like a feud between brothers, a breakdown between business partners, a lack of collaboration between team members etc. However, when we listen to everyone’s voice, one is able to give sound judgment for the overall good of the group to which he belongs, thus discouraging apathy.
Don’t conclude on an event or issue when you have not gotten enough evidence to back up your conclusion. When the premise on which your conclusion is based is faulty, it’s only a matter of time before cracks are noticed.
Get adequate knowledge and vary opinions. People’s conclusion on a matter may vary and always varies. This is because, their knowledge bank defers. See reasons why they think differently, accept their difference, and see how to align the difference for the entire good of everyone.
One truth is that the story can only be complete when one tells it from his angle and another from her angle and then their individual stories are combined to produce the big hit complete story.
Before you make that conclusion, be sure you have heard all the sides there is to the story.