Chapter 3
The Turning Point
(A new definition of success)
After feeling utterly defeated and exhausted from the years of struggle; I just gave up. I had nothing left. I didn’t care about being wealthy; I didn’t care about being successful. I just wanted to have peace of mind; something I haven’t had for a very long time. Little did I know at the time but “giving up and letting go” was exactly what I needed to do.
When you learn to stop “chasing” things; when you give up being “outwardly” driven, you eliminate mental blocks and become more receptive to what the “universe” is trying to tell you. This was a turning point for me. My main focus now was to find peace of mind and to be happy. As a result, the books and teachers I attracted were all now taking me in a different direction mentally. I was slowly learning how to “let go” and stop chasing after things that I thought I needed to be happy. I was learning how to be “inwardly” directed. And although it would take me another year or two and a few more wrong turns; I finally began to realize the mistakes that I was making.
The first thing that I realized was that the people that were happiest were doing something that they were passionate about. That was their driving force. Not money or fame but the pure joy they felt when they were engaged in something they were passionate about. The second thing I realized was that these same people were not only passionate about something but they also felt a deep sense of purpose in their lives which their passion was a part of. My problem was that I really didn’t feel that passionate about any one thing and I certainly had no idea what my purpose was or if I even had one. A lot of things made me happy or were enjoyable but I didn’t feel that burning desire that many books talk about and that I began to see in truly successful people. On an intellectual level I understood what they were saying, “Follow your bliss”; “Do what you love and the money will follow.” But try as I might it just wasn’t there for me.
I realized that most truly successful people felt a deep sense of purpose in what they did. My problem was that I didn’t know what my purpose was or even if I had a purpose. As a result I never knew which direction to head in and was constantly torn between making money or being of service to others. Not knowing at the time that you can do both very successfully. And because I went back and forth in my mind I was never fully committed to either one and as a result was never effective heading in either direction. I was still “outwardly” driven. I was constantly chasing something that I was hoping would make me happy. As a result I was fighting an uphill battle which was not only ineffective but incredibly exhausting.
I found that I wasn’t alone in this. It appears that most people “chase” after something that they believe will make them happy. I didn’t realize it at the time but I needed to change my entire definition of success. If you ask most people to define success it would probably include one or more of the following terms:
Wealth, Fame, Power, Status, Achievement, Title, Awards. Don’t misunderstand me, there is absolutely nothing wrong with any of those things. The problem is that most people are “outwardly” driven and chase after these things believing that is what they need to be happy or to solve their problems. But we pay a heavy price when we do this. How many people have self-destructed chasing after success? Because you are going “against the current” when you chase after success it drains your energy and often affects your physical health, your mental health, your relationships and sometimes even your freedom. (Some people will lie, cheat or steal to get these things and end up in jail or worse).
So how does one become successful without running into these problems? It all starts with a different definition of success. Since people are chasing success because they believe it is what they need to make them happy; let’s start there. True happiness comes from doing something that you are passionate about and gives you a deep sense of satisfaction and purpose. There is joy in that and that is what it is all about. Chasing things drains your energy. Doing something that you are passionate about gives you energy and puts you into the “flow” of life and leads you to “inspired” action. This is what I mean when I say “inwardly” directed. Nothing has to be forced. And the nice thing about living a life of joy and purpose is that the things we once chased (Fame, Wealth, Awards, etc.) often show up as a result. Not because we went after those things, but as a by-product of achieving true success. Finally identifying the problem was one thing; figuring out what to do about it was another.