Finding Your Power to Be Happy by D.E. Hardesty - HTML preview

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Chapter 4

The World That We Experience

You live in the real world, but you rarely (if ever) see it. [42] Instead, you know only the version that you experience. [43] The physical world is whatever it is, but your experience of it is all your own. Part of finding your power to be happy is in knowing that your experience is your creation. You have the power to experience the world as a place of happiness.

Your experience of the world results from your perception of it. Because it is your perception, you are responsible for the way you see the world. In your mind, the world can be dark and loathsome, or it can be light and happy. It can be full of things that make you miserable, or it can be full of things that make you joyful. It can be heaven, or it can be hell.

Constructing Your World

The world that you see comes to you through your physical senses. In each moment of awareness, you internally construct your perception of the world based on the input from these senses. In other words, from the raw material of sense impressions, your mind constructs your world. From these perceptions, you build and maintain an image of the world in your mind.

Swami Satchidananda put it this way:

The entire outside world is based on your thoughts and mental attitude. The entire world is your own projection. [44]

You interact with your image of the world. As long as your image of the world is a more or less accurate reflection of the real world, you can successfully interact with it. Your internal model of the world, while not a perfect representation of it, usually enables you to get from Point A to Point B in reality without much trouble. [45]

It is important to understand that the world you know is in large part a creation of your mind. If you believe that the world, as you perceive it, is the way it is and is unchangeable, then you cannot change it. You cannot change it even if you mistakenly see the world as dark and unhappy, and sincerely wish it were otherwise. If, however, you understand that your perception of the world is largely of your own making, then you can change your experience of the world by changing the way you look at it.

When you realize that the real world is not necessarily the way you think it is, you are beginning to know the truth of life. And the more you know the truth, the more you are aware of possibilities for happiness that may not currently be apparent to you.

A Filtered World

The world as you see it is a filtered world. You filter out of conscious awareness most of what happens around you. You do this because you cannot be aware of everything that is happening right now. This filtering process makes it possible to live and function in the world, without being overloaded by all of the images, sounds, and sensations that bombard you every second. However, filtering also limits your ability to see the world as it is, and casts doubt on the accuracy of what you think you know about reality.

A great illustration of filtering is the famous experiment described by Christopher Chabris and Daniel Simons in their book, The Invisible Gorilla. In this experiment, subjects were asked to watch a short film in which two teams, one wearing white shirts and one wearing black, passed basketballs among themselves. The subjects were supposed to count the number of passes made by the white-shirted team. They were supposed to ignore the players in the black shirts.

Counting the passes required focus, and the subjects filtered out much of what they saw. One of the things that many filtered out was a woman wearing a gorilla suit who appeared on the scene for nine seconds midway through the video. She thumped her chest in full view, and then left. While thousands of test subjects have watched this video, only about half were aware of the gorilla. They were so focused on their task that they were blind to everything else.[46]

How do we choose what to allow into conscious awareness, and what to filter out? Most of the time, we take in what we expect to see, or what we are looking for, and filter out the rest. If you keep seeing and hearing the same things every day, it is probably because you are looking for them and filtering out everything else. For instance, have you noticed that your drive to work looks pretty much the same every day?

A World Created by Care

In his book, Time and Being, the philosopher Martin Heidegger sought to identify the essential “being-ness” of humankind. In other words, aside from the obvious physical characteristics, he wanted to know the essence of what makes us human.[47]

What makes you human, according to his analysis, is the fact that things matter to you. You consciously care about things. The defining characteristic of your existence in the world is that you want certain things, you do not want other things, and as for the rest, you are indifferent. In important ways, you define yourself, and you define the world in which you live, by caring. What you care about becomes the world you see. In addition, your self-image is in many ways the image of all of the things that matter to you.

Caring is so important that it creates the world you see. As you move in the world, you see most clearly those things you care about, and you disregard the rest. Even the distance or location of things depends on how much they matter to you. For example, if you see a friend across the street, that person is, in important ways, closer to you than the stranger standing next to you.

A Remembered World

The world that you perceive is not only filtered; it exists largely in memory. You create your perception of it mostly from memory.[48] At any point in time, what you think you see of the world is not what you see right now, but what you remember of how it existed in the past. Let me illustrate this concept using this picture of a boy bouncing a ball.

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Assuming the ball is not stationary by defying gravity or being attached to the boy’s hand, it is either moving up or down — but which is it? Is it moving up or down? You can guess, but it is impossible to know. It is as if you are looking at one frame of a filmstrip. You can know if the ball is moving up or down only by looking at the frames before or after the one you are focused on.

The boy with the ball illustrates the dilemma of human perception. As you observe what is happening in the world, you see only one moment (frame) at a time. You see only “now.” It is impossible for you to see “now,” and the split second before “now,” simultaneously. So how do you know what is happening? Very simply, you see “now” and simultaneously associate “now” with your memory of the past.[49]

If you see where the ball is now, and simultaneously examine your memory of where it was 1/100th of a second ago, you will know if the ball is moving up or down. While you may assume that you see the ball bouncing “now,” in reality you do not, because much of what you think you see now is what you remember from the past.

Let us expand the timeframe of the boy and ball, and assume that the frame you are now looking at is 15 minutes into a basketball game. As you watch the boy with the ball, your mind may be recalling what he did five minutes ago, or how he has played in other games. You may be speculating about what he will do next. Your mind is dealing with so much remembered information that what you see “now” may play only a minor part in what you perceive and remember of this moment.

Problems with Reliance on Memory

As the boy-with-the-ball illustrates, the way you perceive what happens forces you to rely on memory. Much of what you think you see comes from your memory and expectations. The world, as you see it, is not the world as it is. It is impossible to see the world as it is because you are always limited to seeing it frame by frame. Perhaps your memory of the previous frame is accurate, and perhaps not. Perhaps the world changed from what it was when you last looked at it; perhaps memory is faulty; perhaps you remember the world from another time or place.

Not only can your perception of reality be “off”; reliance on memory keeps your attention focused on the contents of memory rather than on the world itself. If you are looking at your memories, you are not mentally present. If you are not present, you have no chance of seeing the world as it is. I am not saying that the real world never reveals itself. If you smash your finger with a hammer, you are suddenly very much aware of what is happening. Most of the time, though, your attention is focused on the past or the imagined future.

When you are not present to see reality as it is, you limit your view of it to your mental construct of it. You may have a distorted view of reality that you cannot correct because you are not present to see it as it is. Distortions may be negative or positive, but they are still distortions.

A Negative Bias

The mind seems to have a negative bias when it comes to interpreting and reacting to what we see. The bad things we see make more of an impression on us than the good things. Negative information is likely to have more impact on our final impression of something than does positive information. As we look at the world, it is not through rose-colored glasses. We tend to view the world as something more hostile than it is. For example, evidence suggests that, in close personal relationships, bad events have five times the impact of good ones. [50]

One of the few areas where the bias may not be negative is in our view of ourselves. Most people seem to remember and emphasize the good about themselves, and downplay the bad.

Some psychologists think that the negative bias of the mind is adaptive. In the jungles and plains of 100,000 years ago, missing an opportunity for something good usually did little harm. If you missed an apple on a tree, there would always be another. However, if you missed something bad, that very well could have been the end of you. For instance, you might have missed a snake lying quietly on a branch by an apple. You could have missed several apples, and still found another. But if you failed to notice the snake — mortal, or at least grim, consequences.

Therefore, we evolved to be more alert to the bad than to the good. It was an effective adaptation to a very dangerous world. Of course, it was a world in which nobody expected to live that long.

Today, we expect to live a long time. A mind biased towards the bad and the dangerous is no longer adaptive to current circumstances. Psychologists tell us that the mind that is constantly on the alert for danger is unhealthy in the long term. As we age, it contributes to the risk of heart attack, stroke, and hypertension. In addition, a negatively biased mind means that a long life will be, for many of us, an extended period of unhappiness.

A dog bit Joanie when she was very young. Whenever she sees a dog, an old memory stirs, and any dog looks vicious to her. She lives in a neighborhood with many dogs, all of which appear frightening to her. Joanie has a powerful emotional desire for things to change in her neighborhood, and this unfulfilled desire makes her unhappy. However, the distorted way in which she sees things causes the unhappiness she experiences, not the dogs.

Is Your Reality What You Think It Is?

Let us recap the discussion so far.

• Your perception of the world is based on your physical senses.

• You go about the world filtering out much of what you see.

• Most of the time, your attention focuses on the contents of your memory of the world.

• Your mind tends to focus more on the bad than the good.

Given the way in which you perceive the world, how much can you really know about it? I hope you can conclude that there is a lot more you could know, right now, if only you open yourself to looking, listening, and experiencing the world as it is. The indisputable fact is, things do not happen in the way you think they do. You experience only your perception of the world, which has profound implications for how you understand and interact with it.

That we have created and are now creating the world we see around us is a recurring theme of the Buddha. He said:

We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts; with our thoughts, we make our world.

He also said,

We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves.

As mentioned in Chapter 2 — and I believe it can’t be stressed enough — Swami Satchidananda echoes these ideas, saying that, depending on how you perceive the world, “The same world can be a heaven or a hell.” [51] He said that we all have a “magic wand” with which we can create our heaven (or hell) on Earth.

Jesus may have been referring to our inability to see the real world when he said, “The Kingdom of the Father is spread out upon the earth, and people do not see it." [52]

Knowing that things may not be as they seem can provide insight into how to react to what happens around you. [53] It may cause you to doubt what you think you know about what is possible.

I believe that most people would be surprised to know the extent to which human perception changes the world that we see. My advice to them is the same as that of Hamlet, who said:

There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy. [54]

The Cage

The internal image of the world, which we create, is crucial to our survival. We evolved to create an understanding of the world so that we can know how to thrive in it, and predict what it will do. The problem is, our version of reality also limits what we believe we can do. Our version of reality is like a cage. It both protects us and locks us in.

When I see a car, I see a real car, but to understand what I see, I reference an image of a car that I keep in my mind. My image reflects my experience of all cars. When I see a car, or just part of a car, I can bring to mind a complete image of a car like it. I also imagine things that the car is likely to do, so that I can navigate around it. What I experience, therefore, is more my creation than the reality of the actual car. However, my ability to anticipate the movements of the car enables me to be safe and effective in the world.

While a mental model of the world is necessary, it can dominate and narrow the focus of our attention, making it impossible to bring into awareness anything else. After painstakingly assembling a detailed model of the world in the mind, we lock ourselves into it. We lock ourselves in to a mental cage.

One of the fundamental images about the world that we create is what you think of as ourselves (the self-image). Our self-image is necessary. As part of this self, we carry images of ourselves, perhaps millions of them. We have images for every age we were, and ideas about how we will be in the future. We have detailed information about how to do what we do. We remember how we have failed in the past, and have ideas about how we can avoid failing in the future. We remember the times we were happy in the past, and have beliefs about what it will take to make us happy in the future. We have information about thousands of things we like and do not like. We have millions of bits of information about our work or the subjects we study in school, our friends, our enemies, and everything else we need to know. We have “a take” on just about everything, and little inclination to do “double takes.” The mind is complex beyond imagining, and we carry all of this within us, referring to it constantly.

After creating this detailed image of ourselves, we lock it down. A fixed self-image is of course helpful for getting around in life. Life would be beyond difficult if we were to wake up every morning wondering who we were and what we could do. However, this self-image is also a cage, its imaginary bars are the images that we have created.

You need a strong self-image to be effective in the world. However, the stronger the self-image (the more impregnable the cage), the harder it is to change the way you see yourself and the world in which you live.

The stronger the focus on your image of yourself, the more isolated you are. In the play Peer Gynt, Henrik Ibsen observed this about inmates in a “madhouse”:

Here we are ourselves with a vengeance;

Ourselves and nothing whatever but ourselves.

We go full steam through life under the pressure of self.

Each one shuts himself up in the cask of self,

Sinks to the bottom by self-fermentation,

Seals himself in with the bung of self,

And seasons in the well of self.

No one here weeps for the woes of others.

No one here listens to anyone else’s ideas.

We are ourselves, in thought and in deed,

Ourselves to the very limit of life’s springboard.[55]

Mindfulness: Seeing the World as It Is

To see reality as it is, you have to learn to be comfortable with being in the absolute moment. Being in the moment gives you the power to see beyond the normal confines of your mind. Being in the moment allows you to break free of the limits of your everyday way of thinking. Without these limits, you can pull your attention away from the trap that is your mind, and shift your attention to happiness.

It is important to remember that the world you see and interact with is the image of the world that you have constructed in your mind. You cannot avoid this fact. However, by knowing and being steadily mindful of it, you can perhaps learn to see the world with fewer distortions.

At a minimum, you can learn to see the world as it is right now; not as you remember it to be, as you want it to be, or as you fear it might be. As I discuss in Chapters 8 through 10, you can learn to be mindful of the present moment through the practices of mindfulness and meditation.

In many ways, to be mindful is to see the world as a child, with all of the freshness and wonder that this entails. [56] Each sunrise is a fresh experience, and the stars at night are always new and bright. Your spouse or partner is always new and exciting. Your friends and children are always interesting, even when they repeatedly do and say the same things.

Changing Your Perception of the World

If you change the way you perceive the world, you will change the world that you experience. Merely by changing your perception, you can change the world from one that is dark to one that is light. You can change a sad world into one that is happy. You can learn to change your perception, and in so doing create the happy world that you want.

You change the way you perceive the world by changing your internal experience. For example, you may change that experience from unhappiness to happiness, or from selfishness to selflessness. These changes affect what you care about in the world. According to Heidegger, what you care about determines, in large part, what you see in the world.

A Christian mystic, Brother Lawrence, said, “God is everywhere, in all places.” [57] Brother Lawrence changed his internal perception of the world, and as a result, the world for him became a much better place.

Jesus said that heaven is all around us - and “within” — but we do not see it.

You can change your experience of the world by learning to shift your attention from your self-centered desires to unconditional happiness. You can harness the power of your natural desire for happiness, and aim it directly at what you seek.

By shifting your attention to happiness and letting go of self-centered desires, you change what you care about, and thereby change your world. The world you see will appear different to you because as you change what you care about, you change what draws your attention.

Brother Lawrence cared about God, and his attention focused on God in all things. Likewise, if I am in a positive mood, I see happiness all around me.

Creating the Substance of Your World

Some believe in a creator God or Divinity that created and continues to create the real world. In addition, some believe that each one of us is God and creates his or her own reality. Some hold that reality itself is an illusion.

I do not have any conscious experience of creation taking place, of willfully manifesting my own reality. Perhaps I create things unconsciously. However, my unconscious is unknown to me. I cannot say what kind of creative activity takes place in the deepest part of my being. Therefore, I cannot say anything about the creation of the world by a creator God, and I cannot say anything about my personal creation of the world.

I do acknowledge my personal responsibility for my perception and experience of the world. Regardless of how the real world comes into being, the world as I experience it is my creation. And because I create my perception, I can change my perception, and thereby change my experience of the world. This power of perception is something you should not take lightly. Out of this power comes your ability to find lasting happiness.

I cannot say anything about creation of reality because it is beyond what I can consciously experience. In this book, I focus only on what we consciously experience. How substantial reality is created or changed I will leave to others to explore and discuss.