These two beliefs are quite distinct and separate from one another. The first is much more
important than the second, and far harder to obtain; but both are foundation stones of success..
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Because this is such an important point, I want to summarise what I have just said:
PSI-belief is concerned with how you feel inside about yourself. It is about having a Positive
Self Image; knowing that you deserve more, that you are worth it.
I-CAN belief is concerned with convincing yourself that you are able to achieve your goals.
I want you to clearly understand the difference between these two types of belief, so let me give
you an example which will help you:
Mary, David and Sue have always longed to go on a skiing holiday. Mary is lacking in both PSI
and I-CAN belief. Let's hear what she has to say:
MARY: “I would love to go on a skiing holiday but I have so much to do at home, there's the
dog to feed as well, and it would be selfish of me to take a break whilst the children are so
young. Anyway, I'm really clumsy; I'd never get the hang of it.”
TRANSLATION: “My needs are less important than a dog's (PSI) and I couldn't do it anyway
(I-CAN).”
David is lacking only in PSI-belief: Let's listen to him:
DAVID: “Skiing is for rich people, not for the likes of us. Pity really because I'm sure I would
be good at it as I love most physical sports.”
TRANSLATION: “I'm a second class citizen and I'm going to make sure that I stay that way. I
don't doubt my abilities though.”
Sue is lacking only in I-CAN belief. Here's what she might say:
SUE: “A holiday is a really great idea. I deserve a break after the year I've just had. The children can go to my Mother's, she'd love to have them and the change would do them good. Does it
have to be skiing though? You have to be really athletic and muscular don't you?”
TRANSLATION: “I feel good about myself inside and know that I am worth this break.
However, I have doubts about my abilities, and I'm a bit scared of this unknown challenge.”
These examples should help you to understand how different the two beliefs are.
I’m now going to tell you something which you might find surprising: PSI-belief is to do with
FEELINGS and EMOTIONS about yourself, and is not easily improved by logical argument,
whereas I-CAN belief is more rational, and is open to logical argument.
This becomes obvious when we look at our skiing friends.
No amount of rational, logical argument about how easy it is to ski, how cheap the kennels are,
or how much the children might enjoy her being away, will convince Mary to go on this
holiday.
Why? Because she doesn't think she is worth it! All this talk of dogs and children is just a
smoke-screen to give her an excuse for not going.
If I did try to convince her, the conversation would go something like this:
ME: “Mary, why don't you take this break, you deserve it!”
MARY: “But who would look after the dog?”
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ME: “There are plenty of excellent kennels close by, but if you don't fancy them then I could
look after it for you.”
MARY: “Thanks; but it's not just the dog. Don't forget I'm a Mother and have certain
responsibilities to my children. I can't just get up and leave them.”
ME: “Sure you can! They're old enough now, and you've told me many times that your Mother
would love to have them.”
MARY: “That's true, but I couldn't really afford to go. There are so many other things I should
spend my money on, like clothes for the children.”
ME: “Why not spend it on yourself just this once?”
MARY: “Anyway, I couldn't leave the house empty for all that time, there are lots of burglaries
around here.”
And on and on and on! One excuse after another. Do you see what I mean? Mary's practical
problems are purely incidental to the central message which runs through her every sentence.
This message is: “I'm not worth it. I should spend money on other people not me. I don't deserve
a holiday.”
Do you see that no amount of rational talking or explanation can help Mary?
Sue, however, is a different proposition. She has a fundamentally Positive Self Image; all she
needs is a little convincing and reassurance about her abilities. I could probably persuade her to
go if I told her about the easy slopes, the beginner's classes, and the fact that there would be
dozens of people just like her. In other words, by presenting a rational argument, I stand a good
chance of boosting Sue's I-CAN belief.
A talk with Sue might go something like this:
SUE: “I've never been skiing before, I couldn't do it. Surely you have to be really fit?”
ME: “Nonsense! Most of the people going won't have been before. There are beginner's classes
and excellent training.”
SUE: “I'm too old though. They're all youngsters aren't they?”
ME: “Are you joking? Last time I went there were three people over sixty who were there for
the first time!”
SUE: “I'd be scared of hurtling down those long slopes like you see on the television.”
ME: (Laughing), “You only get to go on those slopes when you're good and ready. You'll be
starting out on the flat!”
SUE: “Really? Perhaps it would be fun after all.”
A little more rational argument and Sue might be willing to go.
Notice the difference between Mary's message and Sue's message:
Mary is saying: “I'm not worth it.”
Sue is saying: “I can't do that.”
These are very different statements.
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Notice also, how I was able to persuade Sue by rational argument? Increasing your belief in
your own worth (PSI), is a more difficult proposition, because it is not amenable to rational
argument.
Do you remember earlier I asked you to take a little time over the question, “Do I deserve a
larger house?” This is because I knew that PSI-belief was not easily approached by such
intellectual questions. PSI-belief is lodged so firmly in the subconscious mind, that I asked you
to IMAGINE being in your new home.
The coins of the subconscious mind are IMAGES, just as the coins of the conscious or rational
mind are THOUGHTS. There are no thoughts in the subconscious mind.
Because all this talk about conscious and subconscious minds can be confusing, let me
summarise this chapter briefly:
YOU WILL NOT ACHIEVE YOUR GOALS
WITHOUT SELF BELIEF
THERE ARE TWO TYPES OF SELF BELIEF,
PSI
BELIEF AND I-CAN BELIEF
PSI-Belief reflects how you FEEL about yourself deep down inside.
It is about your level of self-worth. PSI-belief cannot be improved by rational argument, reading
reports, or discussion. It can be improved by visualisation and by actually achieving
something, starting off with small things.
You must have a Positive Self Image if you are to succeed - you must believe that YOU ARE
WORTH all the good things in life, you must believe that YOU DESERVE IT.
I-CAN belief reflects how capable you think you are on a 'nuts and bolts' level. It concerns how
you think about your abilities and what you believe is possible or not possible for you. It is
largely a learned response and is heavily determined by your upbringing and schooling. It can
be unlearned.
When you have PSI-belief and I-CAN belief then you have the solid foundations for success.
You are now well on your way to understanding why belief is so important to your success. Let
us now examine PSI-belief in detail, and see how we can improve it.
PSI Belief
PSI (pronounced "sigh"), means Positive Self Image. We need a Positive Self Image if we are to be happy, successful, loving and complete human beings. Unfortunately, few of us have a very
strong PSI, and a lot of us have a pronounced Negative Self Image (NSI).
Lack of PSI-belief will prevent you from achieving the things you want in life. How much
it will prevent you, depends entirely upon the depth of your Negative Self Image.
There is a very simple relationship between your PSI and your achievement potential: The
STRONGER your PSI, the MORE you will achieve.
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The converse is also true: The STRONGER your NSI, the LESS you will achieve.
Remember that this is independent of your abilities, and independent of 'luck', although these
two are frequently blamed for the failure which always accompanies a Negative Self Image.
I also told you that PSI cannot be improved by rational argument, this is because the
subconscious mind does not understand argument (or even English, for that matter!), and PSI is
buried deep in the subconscious.
Therefore I will not waste any time telling you what a really wonderful person you are and how
you deserve all the things you really want in life. Although this is true, it will not have much of
an effect upon your Negative Self Image.
Instead I want to explain a little bit about how people get Negative Self Images in the first place; then I'll tell you how to dramatically improve your PSI to the point where you can unlock the
doorway to success.
Where Does NSI Come From?
Most people are dealt a full hand of PSI at birth.
Safe in the womb, the baby feels warm, relaxed and loved. It has no inkling of the potential
dangers which lie outside. If it could enter into a discussion with you, it would probably say that
it felt valued and wanted; in other words, it would have a high PSI-level. (Arguments about pre-
birth traumas aside for the moment.)
After birth, the baby enters the 'stage of life' upon which will be enacted an important drama.
All good drama has conflict as an underlying theme; and in this case the conflict is between the
forces which increase the child's PSI level, and those which decrease it.
You entered onto this stage the moment you were born, and since that moment, you have been
subjected to some forces which made you feel good about yourself (increased your PSI), and
some forces which made you feel bad (decreased your PSI or increased your NSI).
These forces we will call ‘strokes’. (A term coined by Dr Eric Berne.)
The present level of your PSI-belief is a direct result of these conflicting strokes