Get Your Ex Back by Ebon Shah - HTML preview

Introduction

Looking to get your ex back is not an easy process. You may have all kinds of ideas

and thoughts about what you want to say and do. However, when you are trying

to get back with him or her, it takes careful consideration and planning. Mistakes

do happen in relationships and you may feel that another chance can bring the

two of your closer.

You will need to figure out why you want to get your ex back. If the bad

outweighs the good, then you may have a good edge to get back with them. If you

are doing it to keep him or her away from other suitable prospects, then you will

be disappointed. If you are serious about how much you miss your ex, then by all

means, give it a chance.

You must sit down and think about why you broke up. Look at both sides of the

relationship. There were probably things that he did that you did not like;

certainly there were things that you did that she did that you did not like. Once

you realize where you went wrong, you can start making corrections and amends.

You will have to work on making those amends if you intend to get back with your

ex. It is important not to allow things to be the same as they were before you

broke up the first time. If one of you has an explosive temper, hopefully the time

away from each other has changed that attitude.

If one of you was a frivolous spender, hopefully you have learned that you need

to get your finances in order. What if you guys were married, then what? You

would be in big trouble as a couple.

Both of you need to prove to each other that you are willing and ready to change.

The only way to show that is through action. The action must be consistent. It

can’t be a onetime thing and then go back to your old ways.

Set up a meeting with your ex. This way, both of you can see where the other is

going. Talk out your issues and concerns. See where both of you are headed. You

need to be committed prior to getting back together.

If you start early before the reconciliation, it will be easier to keep doing it once

you two connect again. The reunion has to beneficial for both parties in order for

it to survive.

Signs That Your Ex Wants You Back

There are signs that your ex wants you back—however, be aware that it may

just be wishful thinking on your part. So don’t get caught up in their initial

actions. Give it some time and you will see if it’s the real deal.

However, there are some actual genuine signs that your ex is looking to get

back with you:

• Your ex constantly keeps in touch with you.

• Your ex enjoys your company.

• Your ex has no serious relationships and has mentioned that to you.

• Your ex likes talking to you.

• Your ex wants to be around you, whether it’s on a date or not.

• Your ex talks to you about serious issues—he or she initiates it and depends

on you to listen.

• Your ex calls you just to say hello.

• They encourage you to keep the communication going.

• Your ex is interested in getting to know you again.

• Your ex initiates wanting to see more of you.

• They feel at peace when they are around do.

• They want to keep up with you and not let you out of their sight.

• They lose weight to impress you.

• They don’t make a big deal if something goes wrong.

• Your ex does not want to break the connection they have with you.

• Talks about other girls, but shows no interest towards them.

• Asks if you are interested in someone else.

• Makes sexy gestures when he or she is in your presence

• Stares in your eyes for a few minutes.

• Is confident that getting back together is the right move.

• Be a little quieter than you were before. Don’t talk as much. That will make

him or her ask more questions and become curious.

Should You Date Your Ex?

You may be thinking about dating your ex again after a break up. If you do

decide to go that route, you need to be sure this is what you want to do. Should

it not work out, there could be hard feelings on one or both sides.

On the other hand, if it turns out ok, then you won't have to hold your breath.

You will feel relieved because you had a nice time. However, don't rush too fast

into it because you may not know what is on your ex's mind initially. It may take

a minute or two to find out.

You have to be comfortable while you are dating your ex. Make sure that you

have gotten over the past hurt and anger that was in your previous relationship

with them. You will not feel at ease unless you know that part of your past is

totally behind you.

Don’t relive the past and what happened. Forget about it and move on. You will

have to do that if you want a fresh start with your ex. It's ok to reminisce on the

good times, but leave the bad times alone. It will also take time for you to get

over any hurt and pain that you and your ex experienced in the previous

relationship.

Before you can move on, learn from your mistakes and vow not to repeat them

again. If you and your ex are looking to start fresh in a relationship with each

other, start slow and don’t expect a lot from each other in the beginning. Going

slow is the best way to renew and rekindle a relationship. Both of you will be

able to start fresh and make amends.

You will be able to pick up on things more because you will have learned from

the past. You won't be naïve to things like you were before.

You have to be cognizant of your actions that may have offended your ex in the

past. Try not to make those same mistakes in the new relationship. You ex

should feel the same way about mistakes he or she made in the past.

Make sure that you have forgiven your ex for things they may have done to hurt

or humiliate you from the last relationship. You cannot move forward until you

are free from that bondage. Forgiveness not only helps your ex, but it helps you

as well. Don't bring up anything in the past that relates to the hurt and pain

that you and your ex experienced.

If you're not sure about exclusively dating your ex, you may want to date others

before you make your decision. Besides, there is no guarantee that you will

hook up with your ex again.

How To Get Your Ex To Rekindle The

Love For You Again

There was the time when you and your ex had a loving relationship. You

cuddled, you kissed, and you just couldn’t stay away from each other. Now that

you have broken up and trying to get back together, it can feel weird because

you’ve been away from each other for a while. However, there are some ways to

rekindle that love you once had:

• Change the way you look. If you used to look ordinary, spice it up. For women,

it could mean getting new clothes and a new hairstyle. Men like to see women

looking their best. With men, they can step it up a notch in the clothing

department as well. When you’re on a date, try wearing dress pants instead of

jeans all of the time. Get some new perfume or cologne.

• Take things slow. There’s no reason to rush into anything. Keep the lines of

communication open. It’s also important to keep eye contact. You will know

whether or not they are really serious about getting back together.

• Compliment each other. People like compliments. It helps to boost their self

esteem. You can reminisce about the good times you guys shared. Plus, you can

make them happen again when the time is right.

• Don’t be in a rush for that loving feeling. You have to make sure that you are

open to receive. Don’t bring baggage in from previous relationships. Rushing

can push your ex away. They may not want to come back after that.

• Go at a slow, but steady pace. You want to be their friend first. Everything

else will work itself out.

• Be yourself and your ex will appreciate you for it. If they knew your

personality back then and wasn’t offended, then rest assured you have no

reason to make changes.

Don’t come on too strong. Your ex can get offended and go elsewhere.

Avoid Being Desperate

When you are starting over again with your ex, don’t be in a hurry. Take your

time and don’t overdo it. Your ex will be able to sense that desperation in your

actions and by what you say. Take it day by day and allow the process to take

its course.

Being desperate will do nothing but push your ex away. Think about what you

guys did on your first date. Maybe you went to the movies or to the museum.

Try doing some of the things that you did when you were dating the first time.

You’re basically starting over anyway, so why not start from the beginning.

Don’t call each other every day starting out. You must give you ex space and

time to be alone. Allow them to miss you for a few days. If you are always

talking to them on the phone or seeing them every day, then they cannot miss

you. Eventually, they may get tired of being around you before it’s all said and

done.

With your free time, you can find other activities that will keep you busy.

Engage in activities that you were involved in before the ex came back into your

life. You can take a walk in the park, or get together with friends over dinner.

Or you can go to the movies by yourself. If you don’t like to do that, then rent

some movies to watch at home. You must remember that having that space is

crucial in order for both parties to appreciate one another.

Don’t be so bold as to let them know that you want to go out with them once

you guys get back together. Start out as a platonic friendship and work it from

there. Make eye contact as you are talking to each other.

Don’t show your feelings too soon. Wait and you will know when the time is

right to do that. Keep a friendly atmosphere and once it’s time to move to the

next step, you will know.

Make sure to avoid the attachment phase. You have to be an ind ependent

person and think for yourself. Men, in particular prefer women who are

independent. They may not say it, but if they sense that you are needy, some of

them will play the stringing game. They will string you along until they have no

more use for you.

You are responsible for making and keeping yourself happy. Don’t depend on

anyone else to do it for you. If you do, you will be disappointed. Once you

channel into your independent mode, your ex will notice and will probably crawl

back to you. They will realize what they missed and will do anything to get you

back into his or her good graces.

Why You Should Not Be Needy With

Your Ex

If you are a person that is insecure and is afraid of being without a mate, then

you can be considered as needy. Being needy traps you from getting out and

about when your mate is not around.

If you broke up and looking to get back with your ex, you may have a difficult

time. You will have to learn to get out of the trap that you’re in and let go.

When you are needy, you always feel like you need someone to talk to. Keep in

mind that there will be times that you cannot talk to your ex. They may be busy

doing other things at that time.

You have to know that your ex is possibly interested in getting back. However,

don’t stop your whole world because of it. Your life must still go on. Being

needy means that you need to be reassured that you are loved.

When working to get back with your ex, there are some things that you should

not do:

• Show your desperation outwardly.

• Squander the other person’s time.

• Constantly asking them whether or not they are still interested in getting back

together with you.

• Constantly asking other questions in regard to feelings.

• Give them the space they need.

• Don’t call them every day or every few hours.

If you are working to get back with your ex, the last thing he or she wants is for

someone to be calling them or hounding them every few hours. The more you

do it, the quicker you push them away from you. Then you will really experience

being by yourself.

Don’t center your life around your ex. Be free to do other things. Find other

activities that you are interested in. When you do spend time with your ex, you

will appreciate it more.

Being needy is dangerous and can lead to a failed reunion.

Other Actions To Avoid

If you are really serious about getting your ex back, just as you need to do

some things, there are also some things that you need to avoid: Heeding the

warnings can help you move back closer into the relationship that you once had

with your ex:

• Avoid being straightforward and upfront. That can be a sign of neediness and

desperation on your part.

• Don’t use expletives, especially if you did not use them before in your

relationship with your ex. Using expletives is not ladylike nor is it gentlemanlike

either. It can put a bad taste in your ex’s mouth.

• Be nice to your ex. Otherwise, they won’t want to give you the time of day.

• Don’t set them up with your other friends. If you want him or her for yourself,

you need to act like it.

• Be yourself and don’t start acting like anyone else. Don’t be fake. Don’t be or

act like something that you’re not. Your ex will be able to see right through you.

They want you just as you are.

• Jealousy is not a good feeling to have. When you get jealous, you start to feel

insecure and not trustworthy of your ex. You get scared that your ex is seeing

someone else. When you start feeling like that, then you are jeopardizing the

reconciliation.

• Don’t make your ex jealous. They will realize that you are playing games and

may not want to participate.

• Don’t use his or her best friend as leverage to get back at your ex.

• Don’t lie to your ex. Be truthful with him or her. They will be able to trust you

easier when you’re honest with them.

• Do not let on to him or her how much you miss them, at least not

immediately. Wait until the relationship has gotten more serious again to do

that. If you do it too soon, you may run your ex away.

• Don’t start flirting right away. A nice smile says it all. Later on when you and

your ex start to get close again, then you may think about flirting with him or

her.

• Don’t give yourself up for him or her quickly. Then your ex will see you as an

easy catch. After that, they may not be around much longer.

• Avoid being pushy. That can push your ex away from you for good.

• Take your time about getting back with your ex. If you rush it, you may mess

up a potentially good thing.

• If they want you back, you will know it. Don’t fawn all over them trying to find

out. Everything happens in its own time.

Playing Hard To Get

Playing hard to get is something that some male and females try to master. It is a way

of testing the other to see if they are really interested in you.

Playing hard to get involves mystery and the love of chasing after the other. Sometimes,

one or the other will try to make it impossible to be with them. That can be a little too

much. It's ok to be unavailable sometimes, but if you make it too difficult, they will just

go on and pursue someone else.

When you play hard to get, you make yourself valuable to the person that is pursuing

you. If you are always available for your ex, they will not perceive you as a challenge.

To them, you are too easy, too needy and too clingy.

It seems though more men than women prefer a challenge. If they feel that they can

manipulate you into doing what they want, then they don’t want you. They don’t even

want to go out on a date with you anymore.

Another turnoff is if one or both of you is controlling or demanding. That just says that

you always want to be in charge, no matter what. That can run your ex away.

You have to be different for your ex. Your ex has to see things that they did not see

the first time in your relationship. They need to see things that will make them tick and

be interested. Don't settle for being ordinary.

Maybe you can dress a little different—not provocative. Say for instance, if you always

wore sweats around your ex when you were together, maybe try wearing some nice

dress slacks or a nice skirt suit.

If you are a woman and didn't wear makeup before, go to a department store and have

someone apply makeup on your face. If you're a guy that doesn't wear cologne, pick

out some that have a nice scent. These are simple changes and your ex will

immediately notice the difference.

You need to know what makes your ex tick. You may have failed to do that in the past,

but with reconciliation, you have another chance. It can make the difference in your

renewed relationship with him or her.

When you're playing hard to get with your ex, you need to know that they are

appealing enough to go after. You don't want to be predictable and have your ex

knowing what you are going to do and say. People in that category don’t' provide a

sense of mystery and are not a challenge for the ex that is chasing him or her.

Your ex won't feel that it's in their best interest to pursue the relationship again. You

have to think out of the box. If you were passive in the previous relationship, show

your ex that you are now a different person. You are no longer the "easy" and "willing"

person you once were.

You must be worth your ex's time in order for him or her to chase after you. You

should feel honored and special that you can keep your ex guessing for a moment. You

want your ex to see that you are valuable in the relationship.

So that means no sleeping around on the first date, even if you did it with him or her

previously. You can't do it this time. Otherwise, your ex will leave you alone.

As you are playing hard to get, you want to have such an impact on your ex that they

would not want anyone else but you.

Keep in mind that you can only be a challenge to them for so long. Once the

relationship has been rekindled, it's time for a more serious role on both sides.

Tips For Playing Hard To Get

Playing hard to get is about flirting, even when you are doing it with your ex. Even if

with that, you must know that your ex is worth investing in again. The point of doing

this is so you and your ex can get back together again.

When you're playing hard to get with your ex, the purpose this time is to see if they are

really interested in having a relationship with you again. You don't want any hurt

feelings on either side. Plus, you or your ex may feel that you were taken for granted

before the break up.

Just because the thought of getting back together is there, that does not mean that

you or your ex can play it safe. You can't take for granted that your ex is going to

automatically fall in love with you again.

Here are some tips you can use to see if the strategy will work:

• When your ex calls, you don’t always have to answer the phone. It's your call as when

you want to talk to them. Keep them wondering a little bit. Try not to always make

yourself available when they call.

• Since this should be a challenge, you don't want to come off as an easy person. You

want them to sweat a little. That way, you will know whether or not they are really

serious about reconciling.

• You don't have to speak with your ex every day. It can get boring and one or both of

you can lose interest rather quickly.

• When you know your ex is not there, call him or her and leave a message. Let them

know that you regret missing to speak with them. This indicates interest; however,

don't let the cat totally out of the bag.

• Don’t show a hint of desperation. Just hold on to the mystery that is inside of you for

a moment.

• Once you and your ex make headway to reconciliation, you can stop using this

strategy. It's become serious and your ex will probably be tired of the games by then.

Why You Should Not Play Mind Games

With Your Ex

If you are looking to get back with your ex, you should be serious about it. Don’t play

games and string them along. That is the worst thing that you can do. Once you start

doing that, they will figure that you are serious and want to make that move.

However, that may not be what you have in mind. Some exes like to play games just to

get revenge. Or they just want to put you on their little finger. So when they get

through with you they can throw you to the curb.

By that time you are hurt and angry. So you decide to get back at them by devising a

plan. This is a foolish thing to do. Getting revenge on someone solves nothing and can

lead to more frustration.

It is important that you are serious about getting back with your ex. The emotions run

high for males and females. It’s difficult when you break up from a relationship. Then a

while later, trying to get back together is not a bed of roses.

So when you decide you want to get back with your ex, you have to mean business.

Besides, their feelings are probably still raw. They probably still have feelings for you,

even though you’ve been apart for a while.

Being in a relationship is serious business. Therefore, you and your ex must take it

seriously. Don’t play around or string anyone along if you’re not serious about having

a meaningful union. People start to get too attached and then all hell breaks looks

when one of you wants to detach.

Be sure that your feelings for your ex are real. Be confident that you want to make a go

of the relationship again. If one of the parties is not serious about it, they need to be

honest and say so. Playing games with your ex is serious business and can have

serious consequences if you’re not ready to get back together with them.

Remaking The Commitment

If it’s full speed ahead for you and your ex, both parties need to check themselves.

There are things that should have been resolved prior to you guys getting back

together. Here are some things that you need to do before you remake that

commitment again:

• If your relationship was wavering, you and your ex make sure that this time around

the outcome will be different. Both of you have to make changes in order for the

relationship to work and grow.

• You and your ex have learned what to do and what not to do from your previous

relationship. The mistakes that were made back then are history. You have realized

that you can’t do the same things again.

• Any problems that both of you had with each other have been resolved. Those issues

will not or should not come up again. It’s important to hash out the past before

moving on to the future.

•