To my kids: Foster, biological, step or adopted, however you are counted, you are all the same to me. You were each the greatest gift and so much more amazing than I ever could have dreamed. Being a Mommy is the most difficult thing I’ve ever done. There is no owner’s manual, no hotline, and no one right way. I grew up with you, learned, made mistakes, yelled too much, and loved you so fiercely I have no words. Yes, I know. No words. Unbelievable. My hope for each of you is that you:
• find yourself far earlier than I found myself.
• love yourself.
• take what I taught you, good and bad, and make it better.
• know what makes you happy and embrace it, whatever that looks like to you.
I’ll love you no matter what.
To the love of my life, D: I know it’s hard to be with me sometimes. I’m sorry, and you’re welcome. Thank you for:
• sifting through the rubble (and bullshit).
• finding me and supporting me in every way.
• loving my strength equally with my weaknesses.
• being OK with my demons.
• Supporting me staying home while I wrote this. I love you. More. You are my kind of crazy.
To my sister, Kim: Thank you for jogging my memory since yours is far better and for talking to me about this when you didn’t want to. I couldn’t have done any of this without you. You are my everything. Really and truly. My sister and my friend, my Roni-Maroni. Have a lovely day, moist towelette. I love you with all I am.
To my friend Diana: You listened, texted, listened, gave insight, listened, reined me in and let me loose, and (did I mention?) listened. Thank God for beautiful, strong women that support each other. I love you, my sister from another mister. You are the jelly in my PB & J and the cheese in my macaroni. “Thank you” doesn’t feel like enough, but it’s all I’ve got. You’re my person. You will always be my person.
To my editor, Corrine: Jesus, this would have never gotten done without you! I had NO idea the volume of work and emotion it would take to get this written. I am so grateful for you pushing me, pointing things out, pushing me some more, and making me be the best version of my writing self. Thank you!
To Kevin: My friend, my first real love and my copy editor and proofreader. You are so completely overqualified for this task, but I couldn’t imagine anyone better at it or better suited.
I am so thankful you were the second person to read this and that you also pushed me to be the best writer I can be. I appreciate and value you as my friend of 30 years.