Chapter 4
The 2nd Step
Discover What Makes You Happy
You have started on the happiness journey, and you have made up your mind that you wanna be happy. Your desire is strong. It's a passion; it's an obsession. You have now moved to the next step – Discover what makes you Happy.
One actually has to delve into the past to find out what really gave one joy so that one may discover what will make one truly happy. While trying to discover what will make you happy, you cannot forget the past, nor can you ignore the present, for things have changed. You must also keep the future in perspective as to where your desires for tomorrow lie. Your list of things that made you happy must first come from the past, and that comes through reflection and introspection. Then, add that list to what currently gives you joy and bliss. Once done, you can get presumptive and start assuming what will give you true joy in the future.
You make the list to differentiate between the small pleasures of life, and those things that give you true joy. Small pleasures will last for a few moments, but there are some joys that are everlasting. When you have an ice cream or a good meal, it will give you pleasure for a few moments. But probably buying a new home will give you true joy that will last much longer. A hobby, a relationship, will fall into a category that will probably give you eternal joy. Some people find joy in music, some in romance, and some in spiritual and humanitarian endeavors. Others find bliss in pets, material possessions, physical relationships and even solitude. You don't have to worry about what makes others happy. Dancing, talking to people, rejoicing in the beauty of nature and shopping are some things that may bring happiness to some. For others, it may just be the job that they love doing. Each of the above might be more specific for you. It could be enjoying a game of Golf, or dancing Salsa, or strolling in the beach or playing with a Golden Retriever. Remember, this is ‘your own’ happiness list. It does not matter what others feel about this. You have to discover what makes You happy.
So start with the past and write out that list – 'what actually made you happy'. The first step is to make a list.
TABLE 1
Review all those memories of joy. It was not just material achievements that gave you happiness; it was more often the finer things like emotions and feelings that gave you true happiness in life. Take your time, but list the greatest joys of your past.
Once you have finished, fill out one more table (TABLE 2).
‘The greatest joys of the present’. Include whatever gives you extreme joy. It could be anything; your job, your hobbies, your relationships, the people you meet, the way you spend your time, your recreation, your home or your
* H - Happy J - Joy B - Bliss F - Fulfillment work place. Analyze every bit of your present, to discover your present joys.
Once through, peep into the future. Put on your imagination hat and visualize those things that in reality will make you happy in the months and years to come. This is not a wish list, but rather a list of those simple things that will truly
* H - Happy J - Joy B - Bliss F - Fulfillment . make you happy based on your past and present and as you would like your future to be.
Now, you have compiled three lists of what makes you happy. The next step is to grade the Tables 1 to 4.
Against each item in the table, choose one of the following:
You may be surprised at your grading. Many truths will surface from your past, present and future aspirations. Once you have graded your list, it's time to eliminate and cut down the list to 10 things that will make you the happiest. You have nearly completed the discovery on what makes you happy.
The final step is to try and prioritize these 10 things. Number them from 1 to 10 based on the amount of happiness you derive from each of them. You now have the final list to reflect upon. Look at it and be sure that you have narrowed down and identified your happiness list. If you do not discover what will make you happy, then you can never be happy. You may be passionate, but without focus, your passion will disintegrate. Sure, this list might change gradually as time goes by, but one can modify it. But, doing the list with a three dimensional perspective of the past, present and future will eliminate the risk of a total makeover. This is your happiness list and you need to make a final review before putting your stamp on it. So look at it one last time, word it out perfectly and there you are!
Bingo! You have discovered what makes you happy!
By now, you feel it is your passion that is adding excitement to your happiness journey. So far, you have finished only two steps – you desire to be happy and you have discovered what makes you happy. Now, it's time to move on to the next step.
A word of caution – whatever forms your happiness list, you are going to broadcast it, publicize it and make it known. Therefore, don't put anything in that list which is unethical or unfair or anything that you have to be ashamed about. After all, you must be proud about what makes you happy and if there is something negative, it is time for review and correction, for nothing negative can ever lead you to perpetual joy.
