· First of all make sure that you are indeed stressed and not suffering from another psychological or physical condition.
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· Next, identify concrete goals that you would like to achieve. Do you want to sleep better? Work less? Commit to a hobby or spend more (stress free) time with your children? Set the goal for yourself and a date by which you will achieve it. Make it specific and realistic, and how you’ll know exactly when you’ve achieved it.
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· Identify key areas of stress in your life. Rather than saying, “my kids” or something similar, focus on yourself. For example, the real area of stress is you being too overwhelmed and tired to deal with your children properly, and not having enough help with them. This instantly gives you the agency to find solutions, rather than feeling powerless to change how others behave.
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· Choose just one area of stress to work on at a time. If you are overwhelmed taking care of children at the end of a long workday, sit down and brainstorm plans to work around it. Can you get someone else to look after them? Can you leave work a little earlier? Can you change your routine so that the kids are less inclined to act up and stress you out?
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· No matter what, start having daily relaxation sessions, and make sure nothing disturbs them. Experiment with what works for you – maybe a hot bath, maybe a walk with the dogs, maybe a new novel or a night out with old friends. Resist making excuses or doing other things in your special time.
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· Keep a journal where you can start exploring your feelings. You may find themes emerging over time; You may discover that you are always the over-responsible one who had to worry about everyone else, or that being a workaholic is a way for you to avoid feelings of inadequacy. Getting a better handle on what stress means in your life will make all the difference when it comes to creating more peace and tranquility.
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· Re-evaluate goals as you go along. Don’t beat yourself up if you didn’t manage to meditate every day or you still lost your temper at work. Be kind to yourself and keep going, making more goals as you go. Be OK with imperfections and try to accept where you are without the need to jump in and make things right.
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· If you’ve been working for a while on reducing stress in your life and you still feel too much pressure, your body may be warning you that it’s time to make a change. Honor your body and what it needs. Remove yourself from toxic work environments or relationships that are not good for you.
At the end of the day, creating a calm and stress free life is about priorities. Those who have overcome the harmful effects of a stressful routine have understood the importance of setting their own well-being as a priority. Unfortunately for some people, taking on too much work has simply become a way of life. We all have different motivations for becoming stressed: the belief that we are responsible for the people around us, the belief that we are not worth anything unless we have plenty of accomplishments to show, or the belief that we are not good enough to actually succeed at what life throws our way.
Deciding to live a stress free life is not about making it less necessary to earn money, or pretending we don’t have responsibilities to our children or spouses. It’s not about denying the difficulty inherent in life or trying to live in a utopia. What it is about is realizing that nothing, and that really means nothing, is more important than your own sense of well-being. If you are not able to stop and rest and enjoy your life, then none of the other aspects really matter anyway.
Your first step to breaking out of a stressful lifestyle is to decide that it is in fact something you want. Next, believe that it is possible. We all have the same number of hours in each day, and making the best of those hours is up to you. Start small and go with the momentum. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
Stress is, ultimately, something to be grateful for. Stress is our body’s message to us: slow down, do something different. Learning to listen to that message takes time, but once we do, we can live healthier, calmer, more balanced lives.