There’s this popular crutch that people carry with them without knowing. It is the "what they say" crutch. Many times we care about what others say about us or about the decisions that we want to take. We ask questions like what will they say about my cloth, my shoes, my business location, my husband, my wife, or friend? Most persons tend to always look for the approval of others before they make even the smallest decision. That is a crutch.
I had this challenge when I was little. I’d think people were watching me intensely so I had to be very careful with the things I did. I listened to whisperers to feel their approval or I asked straight on if what I intended to do was worth the risk. Even if I had faith about what I was thinking of doing, the disapproval of another person was enough to stop me from making a life changing decision.
As I grew I began to develop my self-confidence, I did not have to ask others what they thought. What they thought didn’t just matter and I was considered cocky by even the cockiest of persons.
While it’s good to ask about people’s opinion about a thing, we should realize that the opinion of others shouldn’t be the bedrock upon which we make our decisions. We have to develop confidence in ourselves to make right judgment about any action or situation no matter what happens. You won’t have to blame others when things go sour.
When we lean on the ‘what they say’ crutch, we forget our originality and personality and absorb all the qualities of the crowd. This is suicidal. The crowd has a defamed credibility. They never think right about the individual attributes of its members or how they can help them individually. They rather think of how the individual can adapt to the general often selfish course. You won’t find you if you allow the crowd choose what you wear because the crowd’s choice is uniformity
My local secondary school had a student membership of about ten thousand. We wore identical uniforms to differentiate us from the other schools around. It was difficult recognizing a student amongst the crowd. A student who stood out would often have to be brought before the large crowd of students. If one needed to come out of that crowd, one had to perform so well for a good example or act too bad and be used as a bad example.
What I mean is that somewhere, the crowd crutch would have to be broken and thrown away either for too good reasons or too bad reasons to find the unique you. What everyone says may be right but you can afford to challenge right by proving its wrong or finding an even better formulae.
Life is filled with relativity that the other man’s right can be considered wrong if there is enough proof against it. Depending on what people say to do what’s right or wrong is like a crutch that makes us never realize we can walk because we’ve being used to having it by our side. Our thinking pattern is skewed.
When you hope to hear from others before you live your life, others become the yardstick for which we find approval for our lives. It’s actually saddening that many persons who would have gone ahead to do great things have being hindered by the advices of others who they assumed were better.
It is a costly mistake to be absorbed in finding how to satisfy others when you haven’t satisfied yourself yet. That’s what the crowd crutch does. It makes us strive to make everyone see you as valuable while right inside you, there is discontent. The crowd crutch will never help you find that content you. Take that crutch off.
It could be very difficult when you imagine the influence the crowd already has on you and how you will have to do without the influence because you had seemed to enjoy it long before realizing that it was actually a crutch. You can imagine how quiet it could be jumping from a bus of active people alone at the bus stop. You will immediately feel cold. Giving up this crutch could be very quieting at first and you’d feel lonely but you would soon begin to create your own crowd around you causing influence and others will make you a crutch too. You will become a voice and an influential one for that matter.
Now think. Wouldn’t you rather be that crutch others will depend on than to have others you have to depend on? I feel the former is a more honorable position. Its time you begin to think of breaking out from what people think into what you think. Give strength and credence to your own thinking. Care about what you say than what others say. Listen though but have your own independent standpoint. If everyone is right, you can still find an idea that is more right.