In the first chapter, you saw that we find ourselves in a world where we are wired to depend on everything and everybody. If we think of crutches in a good light, we could get some insight that will help guide our everyday.
I have observed that crutches are not necessary bad objects or people that hang around us. There may be good helping hands. We know that only accident victims with walking impediments tend to use crutches. They are thus very useful as walking tools only to the one with a broken leg. We could have situational and people crutches that are good and dependable. We need good friends that we can fall on when things become so bad. We need family that can be relied upon when every other has failed.
Situations in life are also crutches that are meant to build us into developing confidence in ourselves
Crutches are good especially when they offer the kind of help that we so desire at a particular time. But is the good crutch that very good? The answer is actually in knowing when that crutches of goodwill from family, friends, situations etc. becomes too good to be necessary.
I had this friend of mine who had a wealthy brother. This brother provided all his needs that he never needed anything till one day; he thought he could not continue depending upon his brother for his needs. His brother wasn’t bothered though about providing the needs of his younger brother. To him, it was his responsibility. But my friend felt that if he didn’t break away from the very good crutch that his brother had stood as all the years, he would not appreciate what it meant to him and to discover he could outdo his brother.
Good crutches are good but however good they are, because they are crutches, they are crutches. It stands there beside you silently whispering that you are helpless without it.
When situational crutches exist, they come with their lessons but after you have learnt what has to be learnt, it has to go. You can’t continue to learn from the same mistake every time.
Here is a situation I had that was too good I felt I should live in it forever. While I was at the university, I had some financial crisis so I could hardly afford books for personal study. I was however favored by a friend whose textbooks he offered me to read because he never read them. I was unaware of the conditions attached to the book. I collected the books and got reading. It was a great experience but I felt that the free books would somehow become a crutch I needed to break off from.
I used his books and got all the knowledge enough to pass my examination while my friend expected that I’d transfer my knowledge from the book to him in the examinations. I was smart to know ahead though. I quickly returned his books just in time for the examinations to enable him prepare without excuses and then I made use of my personal notes which I made from using the textbooks. At the end of the examination, my friend accused me of not helping him after I had used his book. I told him it wasn’t at fault. I just didn’t need his crutch in the examination hall. It would have being a drag. I just had to break free from him.
However good a crutch is, it is not the best situation in the long run. It wasn’t meant to be. A situation allowed for it. Conditions allow for crutches and we can’t allow those crutches however helpful they are control how we lead our lives. When we feel good about that help being offered, it is only a matter of time before it turns sour and you discover that its time had long expired.
I had an elder female friend who stayed with an acquaintance since she was eighteen. This acquaintance provided her with all she needed and she felt comfortable about it. Each time she thought she needed to break away to her independent life, her acquaintance often told her it was unnecessary as they weren’t complaining. This was a good crutch at least for that time when she was young. She grew past forty years without ever taking an independent decision about her life and she needed to break off as her acquaintances had soon become a crutch. Her acquaintance still treated her like she was a teenager when indeed she had grown into a woman almost past her prime.
One should know when those crutches that have being too beneficial begins to hurt. Crutches aren’t meant to hang forever. When they have long passed their use, do away with them
It could be very difficult breaking off what you still consider helpful even if they have long past the time when their usefulness was considered necessary. When that help becomes unnecessary, you can decide to break it off and stand firm on your feet.
No matter how good a crutch is, it remains a crutch. You can never discover you hanging on it. You just have to let it go and give your natural feet strength.