ABOUT THE AUTHOR
I am a 58 year old Muslim man who was married with 2 children but am now divorced. I have been a long term mental health sufferer for 40 years and now thankfully, alhamdulilah (thanks to Allah) I am recovered, which I have achieved myself.
I have a physical disability – a visual impairment which I’ve had most of my life with. I am doing freelance work as a life coach and complementary therapist but have not had much work with this so far. I am living my life and trying to take control of my life.
My struggles in life have been trying to do everything by and for myself. My visual impairment has been the bigger issue in comparison with my mental health. Getting work has been hard. I have been rejected by people, by my family and by society. I have faced a lot of discrimination.
I lost my sight at the age of 10. I didn’t go to a normal school but to a boarding school for the visually impaired in Bridgend. I felt excluded, not integrated. I feel a lot of my issues escalated from this isolation. I also have an overhearing problem, which affected my family relationships. I could not cope with the sound of screaming children, even going to the shopping mall or cinema was impossible. My family could not understand me or my condition.
In 1987 I was diagnosed with depression. When the depression hit me I didn’t know. I have never had any proper psychiatric support for my mental health, just anti depressants from my GP.
The GP has made me feel like there was no alternative and I felt would have been lifelong had I not took control of my life myself. My life could have been worse, I could have turned to drugs and alcohol, even been in prison. But as a miracle I took control of my life.
I now feel pretty good about my mental health. I feel better. I congratulate myself and I thank God that I have come this far. I can only thank God. Seeing and understanding things from a spiritual perspective have helped me.
I have had little or no support from services. I feel extremely let down by health and social service professionals. At times they even refused to help me and I never had any proper help or treatment for my mental health.
Voluntary organisation, self help groups and drop in centres have helped me more. In the past I have accessed the 4 winds centre in Grangetown, been supported by Cardiff Mind and now by ISSA Wales. At ISSA Wales I have met similar people with circumstances even worse than my own. It makes me feel I am not alone.
I have also had a volunteer befriended who has supported me by providing company and with managing my letters. This has helped me through my isolation.
At times of personal crisis, however, I feel voluntary organisations have not been able to offer me the level of support that I require. I feel they are not able to do much due to a lack of resources and they hence need to concentrate on getting funding and donations.
I would feel safer this way, knowing that when I am alone in a situation I can get the support I need. I value such support.
My aspiration is to start a degree at university and write a book about my life – ‘From Struggle to Survival.’ I want to help people, to help improve their lives.
I would like to share what has helped me, my personal life and experiences.
To me what’s important in life is my own self belief and spirituality. I am doing more spiritual activities
Are helping me. At times I feel like ending my life but here I am today living my life. It is a massive miracle.