This is the first part in a series of three books about
Personal coaching.
Part 1, “Personal Coaching” is about what Personal
Coaching is and offers a surview of the most popular models
for Personal Coaching (or “Life Coaching”) and Self
Coaching.
Part 2, “Techniques for Personal Coaching and Self
Coaching” introduces you to the most powerful coaching
techniques in use and describes the most successful
questions and strategies for coaching.
Part 3, “Essential Knowledge for Personal Coaches”, is a
practical standard reference work highlighting the
knowledge and skills that are indispensable for anybody
who is considering life coaching as a career or as a serious
self coaching process,
Dean Amory's Complete Life Coaching and Personal
Coaching Course is your best guide for coaching your
coachees and yourself towards maximizing your life
potential and achieving a happier and more fulfilled life.
Personal Coaching is an invaluable training manual for
anybody who takes life coaching seriously.
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1/ LIFE COACHING: WHAT IS
AND HOW IT WORKS.
Life Coaching or Personal Coaching always starts with the “Here
and Now” and looks forward. It focuses on the dreams and
aspirations of the coachee - what their goals are, what they want
- and then assists them to make things happen.
Personal coaching is not about healing wounds from the past
(counselling), nor about transferring knowledge (teaching,
instructing), nor about assisting people to find their way and
become successful in a new study- or work related environment
(tutoring). It is very similar to mentoring, but also different,
because it is more structured and formal and aims to determine
and achieve specific goals within a set period.
A personal coach will however make interventions across the
borders listed above. For instance: besides from focusing on
changes in attitude, convictions, performance and behaviour in
order to achieve future oriented goals, the coach may also focus
on such areas as developing personal skills, raising self
awareness, stimulating critical thinking, coping with change or
enhancing communication.
Like personal coaching itself, this manual crosses borders and
also borrows from models and techniques used for counselling
and mentoring that contribute to the quality of the personal
coaching process without requiring a psychological approach,
making it the perfect guide to develop your own power coaching
model.
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The process of life coaching involves three key phases:
Phase One: Assessment and Intake
During the initial phase, coach and coachee get to know each
other. The coach shares information about the structure of the
coaching process and finds out what coachee is expecting from
him. He will also want to know about the coachee’s present
situation, both in terms of the difficulties that coachee is facing
and of the resources available,
Phase Two: Problem Analysis and Strategy Planning
What kept coachee from reaching his goal? The difficulties
experienced by coachee and the options available to him will be
further analysed. Then, an action plan will be developed. The
coach will monitor the coachee and further help him through
constructive feedback.
Phase Three: Evaluation, Adaption, Further Support
During this final phase of the life coaching sessions, progress
will be evaluated and either the coaching procedure will be
ended, or a shedule for follow up sessions will be agreed upon.
The number of life coaching sessions that are necessary to
complete the coaching cycle is limited. Typically, no more than
five to seven sessions of life coaching are necessary. However
on-going intermittent support can be beneficial.
Source: http://www.mylifegym.co.uk/life-coaching
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1.1 BENEFITS OF PERSONAL- OR
LIFE-COACHING
Coaching services are offered under a wide variety of
names:
Life coaching, ADHD coaching, Business coaching, Career
coaching, Executive coaching, Expat and Global Executive
coaching, Financial coaching,
Personal coaching, Health
coaching, Sports coaching, Dating coaching, Conflict coaching,
Victimization coaching, Christian coaching, Performance
coaching, Skills coaching, ….
1.1.1 WHEN IS PERSONAL COACHING USEFUL?
Generally speaking, life coaching is recommended when
there is a need for assistance at
1.
Improving self knowledge and self awareness
2.
Building self esteem, confidence and assertiveness
3.
Reflection (Offering a sound-board)
4.
Structuring tasks and responsibilities
5.
Improving abilities for planning and goal-setting
6.
Acquiring new skills or improving existing skills
7.
Learning to solve (own) problems
8.
Improving interpersonal skills
9.
Enhancing relationships
10. Learning how to identify and act on personal needs
11. Becoming more effective, performing and assertive
12. Gaining new perspectives
13. Developing greater adaptability to change
14. Reducing stress levels
15. Sorting out personal issues that are blocking you
16. Having a positive impact on your environment
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Personal coaching is for people who want to make a
significant change in their life.
The coach will ask questions and challenge the coachees in
order to stimulate them to
1. Identify, set and accomplish goals
2. Look at new perspectives
3. Become more effective / Increase performance
4. Find the focus and drive to progress in life / Stay motivated
5. Self improvement / Balance and boost personal growth
6. Self empowerment / Increase confidence
7. Deal with resistance, obstacles and conflicts
Personal Coaching requires motivation on behalf of the
coachee
Hersey and Blanchard developed a grid to help determine the
appropriate style to stimulate personal growth. They see
“coaching” as most appropriate style when competence is high
and motivation low. When competence is low, but motivation
high, they suggest a different style defined as “convincing and
encouraging”
In fact, life coaching combines aspects of both qualifications and
can be used both to motivate coachee to stop procrastinating
and do the things he knows he should do, as to advise and
provide guidance to coachees that have the motivation to bring
about change in their lifes, but are not sure about the way how
to handle the situation.
In both cases however, there must be a strong motivation
towards change itself . If you feel the coachee does not want to
change at all, but has been forced to come and see you, chances
of success will be very remote.
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17
1.1.2 JUST HOW BENEFICIAL CAN COACHING BE?
In a study, the effect of coaching in the context of professional
learning communities was measured. The outcomes were
astonishing:
Instructional coaching is most effective when it occurs within a
successful professional learning community. At the heart of this
community is a belief in the need for continuous improvement,
where a constant and collective search for improving classroom
instruction is conducted.
The process of professional learning includes:
Research, presentation and explanation of the theory behind
the practice
Demonstration and modeling of instructional strategies
Opportunities for initial guided practice
Prompt feedback from guided practice
Sustained coaching for institutionalization of instructional
practice
The chart below depicts the outcomes of different elements of
professional development: theory, demonstration, practice and
coaching.
Based on research, an estimated 95% of teachers who receive
ongoing support and guidance through coaching are more likely
to learn and implement new practices in the classroom.
Researchers also estimate that teachers generally need to utilize
a new instructional strategy approximately 25 times before it is
transferred into their daily teaching routine.
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Professional Development Outcomes
Professional
Knowledge
Skill Level
Transfer to
Development
Level
Practice
Elements
Estimated % of
Estimated %
Estimated % of
participants
of participants
participants
demonstrating
regularly
understanding
proficiency in the implementing
contents
instructional
instructional
practices
practices in the
classroom
Theory
10%
5%
0%
(e.g., presenter
explains content -
what it is, why it
is important, and
how to teach it)
Demonstration
30%
30%
0%
(e.g., presenter
models
instructional
practices)
Practice
60%
60%
5%
(e.g., participants
implement
instructional
practices during
the session)
Coaching
95%
95%
95%
(e.g., participants
receive ongoing
support and
guidance when
the return to the
classroom)
Source: Showers, Joyce & Bennett, 1987 –
Published by West Virgina Department of Education
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1.2 THE COACHING STYLE
In Personal Coaching, the point of gravity is always the coachee.
Personal Coaching is mainly facilitating:
The coach does not offer advice, ready-made answers or
solutions, but asks questions aimed at encouraging the coachees
to think for themselves and find their own answers, based on
their own values, preferences and unique perspective.
During the process, the coach offers a supportive framework
based on structure, assistance and feedback, aimed at positively
changing the coachee’s behavior, attitudes and convictions.
Coaching is not complete until the coachee has successfully
developed and implemented at least one concrete action plan.
Exceptionally, some form of advice may be necessary. The
coach will pose the advice as a question, e.g.: “how do you think
… would work for you?”
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Other recommended styles are:
If competence and motivation are low: prescribe, instruct
(Tell people what to do.)
If competence and motivation are high: Delegate
When talking about personal coaching, what is most important
is the level of motivation of the coachee with respect to
immanent change in their lives: either coachees want to make a
change themselves, or they desire to prepare themselves in
order to be able to cope with what lies ahead. Whether their
competence level is low or high is irrelevant, as long as they are
truly motivated to make a change in their lives.
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1.3 PERSONAL COACHING MAXIMS
1.
Listen better, talk less.
2.
Understand what motivates coachee.
3.
More is in you: everybody is capable of achieving more.
4.
Let the past be past: it is no indication of the future.
But learn from it.
5.
How we see ourselves is what matters most: People’s
believes of what is possible for themselves are their only
limits.
6.
A coach must be genuine, empathic and always provide full
support
7.
Coaches do not provide the answers
8.
Coaching does not include criticizing people
9.
All coaching is always completely confidential
10. Some needs cannot be met by coaching
11. Coaching is about identifying goals and finding ways to
achieve them
12. Coaching always implies change
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1.4 CORE COACHING SKILLS
1.4.1 THE 20% THAT GET’S THE 80% OF RESULTS
Carter McNamara of Authenticity Consulting, LLC
Many Coaching Models Have Certain Approaches in Common
About 15 years ago, I had the privilege of studying a variety of
coaching models. When people asked me which model was best,
I always answered that it was the last model I had studied.
Each model seemed tremendously powerful — because each
had certain practices in common. I came to realize that those
common practices in coaching seemed to make the biggest
difference for those being coached. I came to call them “core”
coaching skills. Since then I’ve incorporated them into a process
I call “peer coaching groups.”
I had realized that the experience of having someone –
1. Ask me what is important to me now, what do I want to
accomplish.
2. Ask me questions about how I came to identify that priority.
3. Ask me what success would look like if I addressed my
priority.
4. Ask me about my nature, how I like to work on priorities in
my life.
5. Ask me what relevant and realistic actions I might take to
address my current priority.
6. Ask me what I am learning as I am working to address the
priority.
– was extremely powerful.
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All of the models seemed to include this or a very similar
sequence of questioning.
Core Coaching Skills Are Accessible to All
The process is so clear and straightforward to apply that almost
anyone can be of tremendous help to another person, to
members in a group — or to him/herself by posing those, or
similar, questions. That’s one of the features that makes the
coaching process so very powerful. I’ve watched 100s — if not
1,000s — of people around the world use core coaching skills to
help others transform themselves and their work.
Many people might strongly criticize me for suggesting that
coaching is a simple process. I’m not suggesting that. I’m
suggesting there’s a central set of techniques that is very
powerful.
Certainly, these can be embellished in many ways — and an
explosion of coaching schools have done that.
I’ve watched as the field has become a profession for many,
including codes of ethics and credentialing. I look back very
fondly on those early years where so many people watched this
wondrous new field become so popular to so many — and for
good reason.
What do you think?
———————————————————————————
Carter McNamara, MBA, PhD – Authenticity Consulting, LLC –
800-971-2250
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1.4.2 GROUNDRULES FOR PERSONAL COACHING
1. Coach and coachee have to get along: successful coaching is
impossible if the parties involved do no get on with each
other.
2. Coaching requires a safe environment, which is necessary
for a collaboration based on trust and confidentiality.
3. Contrary to Mentoring, coaching assumes a formal and
professional relationship. This implies regular contacts
based on well structured sessions scheduled within an
agreed coaching itinerary.
4. Clear Scope: Goals and methodology have to be agreed upon
at the start of the coaching relationship. Progress has to be
closely monitored and communicated during regular
feedback-moments.
5. Coaching aims to lead to an increase of insight, motivation
and efficiency on the part of the coachee and to improve
their self-esteem through the implication of a supportive but
professional relationship in which a facilitating style is used
to stimulate the coachee to find their own answers and
solutions to the challenges faced.
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1.4.3 CORE COACHING COMPETENCIES
1. Design the alliance: Build a strong foundation
-
By meeting ethical guidelines and professional standards
-
By establishing a professional coaching agreement
-
Through a correct assessment and intake
2. Communicate effectively
-
Practice active and empathic listening
-
Be authentic (congruent), unconditionally acceptive and
supportive
-
Be non judgmental; do not enter in discussion
-
Establish rapport, respect and trust with coachee
-
Use powerful questioning and purposeful inquiry
3. Facilitate learning
-
Create awareness – challenge with compassion – celebrate
not knowing
-
Do not offer your solutions – help coachee find his
-
Co-create possibilities and actions, stimulate experiments
-
Assist in planning and goal setting
-
Affirm, acknowledge, celebrate
4. Manage progress and accountability: make specific requests:
-
Start with “I have a request…”, or “May I invite you to…?”
3 possible answers:
1. Yes
2. No
3. Here’s what I’ll do instead
-
What are you going to do exactly?
-
By when?
-
Where, with whom, conditions, …?
-
How will you know? How will I know?
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1.4.4 THE SEVEN C’S OF COACHING I
Source: Dr. Greg Dale, an AAASP certified sport psychology
consultant at Duke University
http://education.adelphi.edu/hpe/healthstudies/healthnets/pdf/gr
egorydale.pdf
Character – Competent – Committed - Caring
Confidence Builder – Communicator - Consistent
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1.4.5 THE SEVEN C’S OF COACHING II
Alternative 7 C’s of Coaching
Source: 7 C’s of Coaching – The Practical Guide to Collaborative
Coaching for Optimum Results by Mike Cope. ISBN 0273681109
The Seven C’s described are:
Coachee - Understand the person and the problem
Clarity - Unearth the symptoms and roots of the issue
Create - Generate a solution
Change - Deliver the solution
Confirm - Make sure it works
Continue - Ensure it will be suitable
Close - Celebrate and say goodbye
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1.4.6 CORE COACHING SKILLS ACCORDING TO
THE
ACADEMY
FOR
COUNSELLING
AND
COACHING (ACC)
While coaching, pay attention to:
1. Introducing yourself properly.
2. Giving a clear explanation of what life coaching is.
3. Developing a trusting relationship with your coachee.
4. The techniques:
open questions / paraphrasing
reflecting feelings
summarizing
focusing
caring confrontation
(appropriate use of) self-disclosure.
5. Structure and process of the discussion (phase-
awareness).
6. Responding to cues and verbal signals.
7. Matching your language to that of your coachee.
8. The content of the discussion.
9. Managing silences.
10. Enabling the coachee to tell his story (without undue
interruptions)
11. Refraining from giving advice or solutions.
12. Effectiveness and usefulness of the session.
13. Evaluating the session.
14. Coming to an agreement regarding progress.
You will know you have mastered the skills when you:
1. can describe each skill,
2. can distinguish between the different skills,
3. know when to apply a certain skill or not,
4. can recognise and identify a particu