Chapter 5
Emotional Freedom
I probably could have combined this chapter and the last chapter, but I wanted to keep them separate. Removing stress and controlling your other emotions are very similar. I wanted to keep them separate because stress plays a larger role than other emotions. Removing stress can, however, lead to emotional freedom.
I have been contemplating for some time now how to write this section. I decided to put it off for a while until an idea about how to write it popped into my head. I actually went a few weeks without writing this section. Then, my pastor gave a sermon that explained exactly how emotional freedom works. He put it i n a little different context than I will, but the idea is the same.
Most people base how their day was by what happened to them that day – or their emotions towards that day. If good things happened to them, then they had a good day. Likewise, if bad things happened, they had a bad day.
I believe that emotional freedom allows you to have a good day des pite your circumstances. What do I mean by this?
The following chart gives an example of typical emotional reactions.
As you can see in this example, the emotions are directly related to the circumstances.
It is not easy, but you can separate your emotions from your circumstances. Have you ever seen someone that is in a horrible situation but is always happy?
I do not watch much tv, but I remember flipping through the channels once and I saw Extreme Makeover – the show where they build a house for someone in need. I remember seeing this guy that had lost everything. He couldn’t even repair his house because he didn’t have any money. That was a guy that you might think would be depressed. But he wasn’t. He was happy. He knew there are people worse off than him, and he was grateful for what he had.
His circumstances definitely did not control his emotions. Life gave him rotten lemons, and he made the best lemonade ever.
If he can do it, why can’t you?
Maybe he was surrounded by good friends and/or family. Maybe he knew he could always rely on God. I don’t know. But, I do know that I can be more like him.
Whenever bad things happen to me, I try to “roll with the punches” – absorb the hit and keep on keepin’ on. This is especially helpful with children. I have found that if something unplanned comes up, then I try to turn it into an adventure for my kids.
Here is an example. A few months ago the top button on my iphone quit working. I know, first world problems right? Obviously this wasn’t something terrible, but it did mean that I had to drive an hour, wait in line at the Apple store, get it replaced, drive back to the place I bought it, get a new screen cover, and then drive home. Along with a couple other stops I made it took me over four hours.
I could have been mad the entire time. I was working over 50 hours a week on average, and this was my one day off…during the week.
Instead, I let my daughter pick out her wardrobe (she chose a very interesting outfit), and we had daddy- daughter day. She was so excited. I was just doing the stuff I had to do anyway, but it made it fun for both of us.
Going back to the example from the chart, I want to show you what my view of emotional freedom looks like.
In the chart, you can see that the emotions are high even when the circumstances are low.
As I mentioned before, my pastor did not explain it like this. Without giving the entire sermon, he explained it more as trusting in God. If you trust in God, then even when something bad happens in your life, you do not have to have a negative reaction to it.
I talk about religion a little more in the next chapter. Resources: