Respect; The Martial Art Code of Conduct by Dr. Terrence Webster-Doyle - HTML preview

Respect

The Martial Arts

Code of Conduct

by Terrence Webster-Doyle

WEATHERHILL

First edition. 2002

Published by Weatherhill. lnc., 41 Monroe Tumpike, Trumbull, CT 06611. Protected by copyright under the terms or the Tnternarional Copyright Union; aJJ riglus reserved. Except for fair usc in book reviews, no pan of L11is book may be reproduced for any reason by any means, including any method or photographic reproduction, without pennission of Weatherhill, lnc. Printed in China.

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publicacion Data available

ISBN 0-8348 0514-6

Special thanks LO our photographer.John Seberg (Scbcrg Photography. lnc., on the web at www.scberg.com), and to Damon and Kimber Hill and the students of the Modern Marti.al Arts Academy. DeLand, Florida.

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Today at our martial arts school we are learning about Respect. Respect is the foundation of the Martial Arts Code of Conduct.

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Respect means acting like a gentleman

or gentlewoman. It means respecting

our parents, teachers, and friends.

Respect also means caring for our-

selves, taking care of our bodies by

keeping them healthy and clean. It

means eating healthy foods and get-

ting enough exercise and thinking

healthy thoughts.

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The Martial Arts

Code of Conduct

is a set of rules

to live by. Our

teachers tell us

thal a "code"

describes a way

of behaving that

makes a better

life for everyone.

It is how we act,

what we do every

day that allows us

to live peacefully

and happily with

one another.

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Studying the

martial arts

teaches us how to

stop a bully from

hurting us. But it

also teaches us to

respect the bully

because a bully is

just someone who

has been picked

on too, someone

who has been

hurt and feels

angry. This is a

part of our Code

of Conduct: to act

with kindness

even to those who

want to hurt us.

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Our teachers help us understand how other people feel and how everyone just wants to be liked. They tell us that kindness-treating people like we would like to be treated-is an important part of the Martial Arts Code of Conduct.

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We need to be

kind to people,

especially people

who are less for-

tunate than us. If

someone is very

old or sick or

has a disability,

it 1nay be diffi-

cult for. them to

do the ordinary

things that we

can do. We need

to be kind to all

living creatures.

Being kind to

our pets means

feeding them

and making sure

they are not

hurt in any way.

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Our teachers tell us that the Martial Arts Code of Conduct is like a map. When we travel, a map shows us how to get to where we want to go. The Martial Arts Code of Conduct gives us directions to follow as we travel on the road of life, and shows us how to get along with people we meet on the way.

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Courtesy is also part of the Martial Arts Code of Conduct. Courtesy is being polite, like saying, "May Ir or "Please" when we want something and "Thank you" when someone docs something for us. If a new student comes to our school it is polite to say hello and to make him or her comfortable being in a new place with new people. Courtesy is really just being nice.

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The Martial

Arts Code of

Conduct tells us

about the

importance of

being honest.

Being honest is

telling the truth,

to others and to

ourselves. It is

also acting

honestly, doing

what we believe

is right and not

doing what we

know is wrong.

It means treating

people fairly, as

we would want

to be treated.

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The Martial

Arts Code of

Conduct tells

about the

importance of

courage. Having

courage means

being brave

enough to stand

up for what is

right. If a bully

is picking on

someone it will

take courage to

make the bully

stop. We also

need to be brave

when we are

sick or lonely or

bad things are

happening.

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Our teachers tell us that life is full of challenges and that we need to be brave to meet them with a strong spirit. We need to have courage to live the Martial Arts Code of Conduct even when others around us are being disrespectful.

Our teachers

tell us that life is

a test of our

character. Having

character means

living by the rules

of the Martial

Arts Code of

Conduct. Having

character rneans

being strong even

if we feel weak

inside. Having

character means

treating people

with kindness

even if we don't

feel like it.

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Our teachers tell us that because we are human we will make mistakes. They tell us not to judge ourselves harshly, not to think that we are bad. They say that if we 1nake a mistake, if we are unkind or disrespectful, we should forgive ourselves and just keep on trying. As long as we are trying we are doing the best we can.

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LJ

Another important part of the Martial Arts Code of Conduct is order. Order means keeping ourselves and our lives organized. It means keeping our rooms neat by putting our things in their proper place. It means doing the jobs we are asked to do by our parents and teachers, and being on ti1ne.

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In our martial arts school we create order when we line up our shoes and put away our clothes and schoolbooks in our lockers. We are taught to fold our martial arts uniforms neatly and to keep them clean. When we line up in class we are asked to stand up tall, form a straight line, and look to the front. This creates order in our group and helps us to work together as a team.

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The Martial Arts Code of Conduct also teaches us about humility. Humility means not taking ourselves too seriously or thinking that we are better or more important than others. Being humble means thinking of others before ourselves.

"'\

,.

,

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The Martial

Arts Code of

Conduct teaches

that wisdom is

understanding

what makes us

afraid. Our

teachers show us

how fear creates

conflict, like our

fear of bullies.

They teach us

that fear is

created by the

way we think,

which creates

the way we feel.

And the way we

think and feel

creates the way

we act.

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When a bully cells us that he or she is going to "get us" we bec01ne afraid all the time we are waiting for the bully to do something. Every time we think of the bully, up pops that feeling of fear. That image of the bully in our brain comes from what our teachers call "conditioning." Our teachers tell us that is the way all conflict happens, from the bully on the playground to the bully on battlefield.

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Conditioning is

like having a

picture stuck in

our brains that

just will not go

away. The

harder we try

not to think the

fearful thought,

not to not see

the scary image,

the more we

think aboul it

and see it. That

thought and

image keeps

reminding us of

something in the

past that we are

afraid of. It is

like having a

bad dream but

being awake.

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Our teachers show us how to sit quietly and just watch our thoughts, to let them just pass through our brains without doing anything about them, just let-ting them come and go. It's like watching bubbles in a glass of soda float up from the bottom of the glass to the top where they just disappear.

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Sitting quietly we can see how fearful thoughts and feelings arc created. We see that they are only thoughts and cannot really hurt us. When we sit and just watch them, without deciding they are bad or fearful, after a while tl1ey get less and less important. Eventually they just fade away.

At the end of each class, after we have practiced our physical 1nartial arts, we sit in a circle and talk about the Martial Arts Code of Conduct. Our teachers ask us questions and we try to answer. They call this time

"Mental Sparring.,, res fun to think about these things. It exercises our brains, keeping them mentally fit just like we keep our bodies physically fit.

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Our Leachers say that the martial arts will help us become intelligent in our day-to-day lives and in our relationships with other people. Being intelligent means stopping to think before we act. It 1neans thinking of what the right thing to do is when we are unsure. In class we are taught how to defeal the bully the smart way-without having to fight or to run away in fear. We learn ways to slop bullying by using our brains instead of our fists.

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The Martial

A Martial Arts

Arts Code of

Champion for

Conduct also

Peace is a real

teaches us to

hero, like Dr.

love. Love, our

Martin Luther

teachers tell us,

King,Jr., Eleanor

means being a

Roosevelt, or

Martial Arts

Caesar Chavez.

Champion for

They were con-

Peace. True

cerned about

champions are

what prevented

those who care

peace, that is,

for their fellow

what created

human beings,

conflict among

who stand up

people. Like

bravely for what

them, Martial

is right, and

Arts Champions

who protect all

are leaders who

living things

use their knowl-

from harm.

edge and skills

for peace.

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We are very

happy Lo go to a

martial arts

school that is for

peace, one that

teaches us how

to get along in

the world. Our

parents and

schoolteachers

are also happy

because they

know that

studying the

martial arts

together with

the Martial

Arts Code of

Conduct will

help us to be

safe and develop

good character.

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Note to Parents

The Martial Art Code of Conduct is the foundation of all martial arts, for it emphasizes living a life of good will and peace. The Martial Arts Code of Conduct is whal we call "manners" or "social skills,"

t.hat behavior that promotes right relationships between people. It may seem like a contradiction to teach this within the ''martial" arts, arts of self-protection. But in fact this is the very place they must be taught in order Lo help prevent conflict in relationships. The ult:imat.e goal of Martial Arts for Peace'" is to stop conflict before it happens.

Having d1ese social skills reduces d1e chance that the student will react out of fear to a possible threatening situation such as being bullied. Combined with the confidence that comes from knowing how Lo protect oneself, the social skills outlined in this book, and in the leader's guide that accompanies this book, can reduce the pot.ent.ial for conflict. This is what ilie martial arts are really all about-understanding and resolving conflict peacefully. Therefore Martial Arts for Peace 11' has an in1portant role to play in the lives of yoW1g people growing up in this challenging world.

This book is for children aged 4 to 9. It is probably advisable to read this book to younger children, explaining some of the concepts.

Older children can read the book themselves, asking questions of you if need be. Most important is that you both understand the difference between the often violent. portrayal of martial arts in the popular media, and the m.1e spirit and goals of martial arts practice. Moreover, if you decide thal martial arts practice is right for your child, make sure you choose a school that reflects these higher goals. For help in doing this, please consult Dr. Webster Doyle's Martial Aris Guide far Parents.

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Want to get in touch with us? Then write, call, or e-mail.

Martial Arts for Peace Association,

P.O. Box 816, Middlebury, VT 05753

800-848-6021 I 800-966-1998

mapp8@aol.com

Want to sec more of our books? Then check out our web page:

www.martialartsforpeace.com

Want to order our books? Then call or e-mail our publisher: Weathcrhill, Inc.

41 Monroe Turnpike, Tiumbull CT 06611

Tel: 800-437-7840 I Fax: 800-557-5095

weatherhill@weatherhill.com

DR. TERRENCE WEBSTER-DOYLE is a martial arts sixth-degree black belt, former school teacher and administrator, Juvenile Delinquency Prevention Commission task-force member. and the co-parent of Eve daughters. He has written 21 internationally acclaimed, award-winning books on conflict education and the martial arts, and is co-founder and director of Martial Arts Partners for Peace.

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