“ I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but i fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times. “
- Bruce Lee
When you fold your arms, have you ever consciously thought about which arm to cross over the other? No? The next time you do fold your arms, take note of how your arms are positioned. This is how you fold your arms every time, whether you are aware of it or not. It’s how you naturally do it, and you are comfortable with it.
Now try folding your arms the opposite way; if your right arm normally crosses over your left, cross your left over your right and vice versa. It feels awkward doesn’t it? That’s because you’re not used to it. But if you take a minute of your time every day to practice doing so, in about three weeks you will automatically fold your arms in the way that felt awkward before. This is the power of habit.
A bad habit, if left unchecked, transforms into an addiction. Addictions negatively affect our physical, mental and emotional well-being. They rob us of the energy we were supposed to direct to achieving goals and warp our priorities.
I once read about a retired war veteran who became addicted to narcotic drugs. In order to kick the habit, he locked himself up in a room for three weeks and came out sober. Not everyone can take such drastic measures (‘cold turkey’ method) to seize back control over their lives, but Steve Pavlina, author of Personal Development For Smart People, says that the solution is to diagnose the bad habit that is hurting you and devise a new habit to replace it, de-conditioning the old habit and installing the new one. Here is his story:
“In January 1991, my life was going downhill fast. I'd just been arrested for felony grand theft after a few prior arrests for misdemeanors. I got expelled from college because I ditched most of my classes. I played video games for up to 18 hours at a time. I'd fallen into a pattern of self-destructive, out-of-control behavior.
I didn't know how at the time, but I decided I had to make some serious changes. I really didn't want to spend my adult years wearing orange pajamas. I began listening to personal development audio programs, and I liked the positive messages they shared. Sometimes I listened to them for 2-3 hours per day.
This had a major effect on my attitude, thoughts, and beliefs. I gradually began setting goals, working on my self-discipline, and overcoming bad habits.
Soon I started over at a new university. Thanks to all this positive conditioning, I was able to take triple the normal course load, and I graduated in only 3 semesters with a double major in computer science and mathematics. At graduation I was presented with special award given to the top computer science student. I was amazed at the powerful transformation I went through as a result of exposing myself to daily inspiration.
After graduating I started a computer games business and ran it for 10 years. For the first 5 years, it was a real struggle. I sank into debt and went bankrupt. But I didn't give up because I understood the value of persistence. I kept going and eventually turned the business around. For the next 5 years, it did very well. Our games won several awards, and we had a write-up and photo published in the New York Times.
As I began to appreciate the amazing payoffs from investing in personal growth, I devoured many more books in the field and eventually read more than 1000 of them. I listened to audio programs and went to seminars to keep learning and growing. Soon I was formulating my own insights to build upon this knowledge -- and to connect the dots between what I'd learned from others and what I'd experienced for myself.”
Do/did you have a similar story? Getting started and sticking to a new habit for a few weeks is hard, but once you overcome inertia, it gets easier with each repetition. You need to grasp that the change you are about to make is long-term, and that a daily commitment is required.
If you have read the entirety of this concise book, you are now aware of the challenges that lie ahead and the steps you can take to overcome them. The workbook in the following pages is a motivational guide to your goal accomplishments and personal improvement.
Be faithful to your personal growth. Set goals every day, track progress and never stop learning. The only person who can cheat you out of your destiny is yourself. Remember that multiverse I mentioned in the first chapter – which version do you want to be? The answer lies beyond these pages.