In The Beginning
It might seem that we are born into a cold and dangerous world. Our first emotion may be terror from the traumatic change of going from womb to alien environment. At first we are defenseless and dependent creatures. Some children suffer and some die. But that is not what usually happens. We have mechanisms to deal with crisis. We are beings of resilience because there is a vast intelligence within us. We have genetic programming to nurture our own and others’ offspring. Nature’s intelligence strives toward life.
Our genetic programming gives us instincts. Some of them are useful for our particular environment and some of them are not. Luckily, we have been endowed with the capacity to adapt. We can consciously choose behaviors even if they run counter to our genetic programming. Modern science is now realizing that we are more adaptable than we first assumed. Neuroplasticity is now an accepted phenomenon, but to relegate adaptability to the brain would be shortsighted. We operate as whole beings.
We are easily influenced by our environment and programmed by our caregivers and community. Just like genetic programming, some of this programming is useful and some is not. The useful conditioning encourages wellbeing. Wellbeing is toward life, health, happiness, growth or homeostasis. Unhealthy conditioning is toward death, pain, suffering, and danger.
One exception is the pain (discomfort) of rapid change for the purpose of adaptation. This is where our conscious mind really comes in handy. Our bodies have a strong survival response to protect us. However, sometimes it is triggered when we aren’t really in danger. One example is the common fear of public speaking. Our conscious mind can override our survival response in order to adapt to our environment in the way we see fit.
Changing ourselves takes resources from our being; therefore, there is a natural resistance to it. It can also trigger our survival response to a certain degree. As an example, tearing too much muscle in a short amount of time in weightlifting would be damaging. Pain is a sign that we need to change, but it also protects us from potential danger. If we resist the perfect amount of challenging weight, we experience some pain (discomfort) but not to a dangerous level. We use resources such as energy to lift a weight, and we tear muscle to build it. In the end, a somewhat painful process allowed us to adapt and gain a layer of protection in times of crisis.
It was not easy to change. Something had to be destroyed in order for something new to emerge. Change is awkward. The pain and resistance we feel is the physical experience of rewiring our being. It may seem easier not to change when we meet a challenge, but if we don’t change and grow, we will inevitably suffer.
Free will is our ability to consciously participate in the evolutionary process. To choose when, where, how, and how much to challenge ourselves to change for the better or for the worse. Some change happens automatically, such as body temperature regulation, but we also have the conscious choice to wear warm or cool clothing or build a shelter.
I propose that the world is a nurturing place that supports our survival and happiness. Most children are happy by nature and grow to an important point: The point of conscious evolution. This is the point when we begin to take responsibility. That’s when the greatest opportunity arises if we have the grace to recognize it.
All of this seems obvious, but it is not. If we were all aware of our free will, we would choose not to suffer. Yet suffering can be one of the greatest gifts of life because it is through its unignorable alarm that we can be notified that we are not in the flow of nature. It’s the way we can tell that we are not adapting toward wellbeing. You could also look at it as God’s call to us that we have missed the mark (the literal translation of sin). It notifies us that we have taken a step toward death and away from life.
Let’s say that you normally feel great after you eat pizza. If you get sick every time you eat at Tony’s pizzeria, you would be crazy to continue the pattern. If you get sick with suffering every time you think negatively about your body, why would you continue to do so? Humans continue to consume the poison of disempowering beliefs and negative emotions even when they are easily seen in predictable patterns. This is all due to lack of awareness and habitual behavior.
This book’s purpose is to bring hope that you can choose to be happy. There are many paths, but the basic message is to notice the patterns in your life that bring pain and notice the ones that bring joy. Choose to be kind to yourself and those around you by embracing positivity. Changing from a victim to a responsible being takes focus and effort. It doesn’t always feel comfortable, but it is the only path of sanity. Notice that virtually everything is in constant change. Any attempt to hold onto anything will stagnate the flow of life’s energy through you. This stagnation of energy is what causes pain and suffering.