CHAPTER FIFTEEN
CHOICES: THE RUDDERS OF DESTINY
“Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few” (Matthew 7:13-14, ESV)
You are a product of your choices. In fact, you are where you are today because of the choices you made yesterday. Therefore, your ultimate destiny would be determined by a collection of choices you are going to make from now.
There are two kinds of destinations. We have pre-destination and we have actual destination. Pre-destination is where God has created you to be. It’s not where you are, it’s where you want to be in line with God’s purpose for your life. It means divine plan, that is, God’s intention for you. Actual destination on the other hand refers to where you eventually end up in life. And this part is largely influenced by your choices.
Many people have failed to fulfill God’s purpose (pre-destination) for their lives because they have made a lot of wrong choices along the line. So their actual destination becomes different from their pre-destination because their choices have moved them away from God’s plans and purpose.
Your behavior, actions and inactions are based on the kind of choices you have resolved in your heart to make. Although God intends for everyone to have a great life, many people have their own ways of influencing their actual destinies through their choices.
One of the most important choices you will ever make is the choice to follow after God’s purpose for your life. It’s not always about your instincts, it’s about His leading. Too many people depend on their instincts to guide their decisions. It’s rather important to make your choices at different stages of your life based on purpose and divine plan, not instincts.
Many people want to decide their own destinies. This is very wrong. Just as the manufacturer of every pen has designed it to write and no one can change that, so also God has designed you for a purpose and you cannot choose to change it and be successful at it. If you attempt to use a pen in the place of a microphone, you will be frustrated. So also, if you choose to walk in a different line of assignment order than the one you were created to walk in, you will be frustrated.
The choice to walk in line with God’s assignment for your life is the best choice you can ever make. Other choices thereafter should only compliment that principal choice. When you have decided to walk in line with divine assignment, then every other decision such as your choice of friends, mentors, places, spouse, etc. will be channeled toward fulfilling that your assignment.
Never choose to copy other people. Never try to be someone else. We all have different destinies; therefore we must make our choices based on our individual purposes. No matter how much you try to be someone else, you can never be that person.
The Bible writes something very interesting about choices in Deuteronomy 30:19. “This day, I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you, life and death, blessings and curses. NOW CHOOSE life that you and your family may live”
From this verse, we can conclude that:
The phrase this day means there is no day that passes where you don’t make a major choice that can influence your destiny positively or negatively.
That’s why the scripture said “...I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you”. So you really have no one to blame when you take the wrong step. If you fail, blame it on your choices. If you succeed, blame it on your choices.
God said “…I have set before you”. So God, who is not partial, has given every one on earth equal chances to choose right and make their way to the top.
The latter part of the verse says “…now choose life that you and your family may live”. Therefore, if you make the right choices in life, you secure blessings for your generation. If you make the wrong choices, you put them in trouble.
Choosing Right
Consider this verse.
“And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled over many things; but one thing is needful; and Mary has chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her” (Luke 10:41-42).
Too many people have big problems with choosing right. As you get to certain crossroads in your life, you need divine inspiration to make the right turn. Many have blown up their careers, businesses, families, jobs, organizations, etc. because of their inability to make the right choices.
In this verse, Jesus highlights focus as the key to choosing right. He said to Martha, “You are worried about too many things, and that’s why you fail to make the right choices”. Then He went on to say “but one thing is needful”. What Martha lacked was focus and clear cut direction. Jesus wanted her to identify those things that really matter to her.
Focus is the key to choosing right. At times you may need to quit some friends and choose those that matter to your destiny. You may need to quit going to certain places, reading certain books, quit some relationships and so on. You need to know what is truly needful as far as your destiny is concerned and that’s why you need to be focused.
Jesus then went on to commend Mary, Martha’s sister, for making the right choices. He said “and Mary has chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her”. So you need to get focused in order to know what’s good for you at every point of your life and then, make your choices wisely. There is always a good part and there is always a bad part. Like Mary, choose the good part and when you do that, nothing will take it away from you.
You don’t jump at everything that looks like an opportunity. You need to fix your mind on your purpose and let it guide you to decide what opportunities to dive into. Look out carefully for the things that are needful and relevant. You are not created to do everything. You are created to do something. When you focus on that thing, you’ll never be a victim of wrong choices.
So here is the question for you; where are you going? And how relevant are your daily choices to your desired future?
Let your purpose determine your choices. You don’t train to be a musician on a basketball court. When you do that, you would be betraying your design. Don Moen did not attend some soccer school somewhere, expecting to become a musician. If he had done that, it would have been the wrong choice. He must have trained himself in line with music to become the global star he has become today.
Your choice is to your destiny what a rudder is to a ship. A rudder is a device on a ship that helps steer and stabilize the ship on the sea. Choices are the rudders of your destiny. They steer and stabilize you on the sea of life. They decide which direction you head and hence, your ultimate destiny.
Be Aware of Your Choices
Life is like a sea, your mind is the ship in which you sail through the sea of life and your choices represent the rudder on that ship; they give you stability and direction on the sea.
But you have to be aware of your choices. Don’t let your mind run on autopilot. An autopilot ship doesn’t need a rudder; it just runs on its own. While that may be cool for natural ships, it’s not ok for your mind. You’ve got to use your rudder and you’ve got to be aware of it.
People whose minds run on autopilot make choices without refining them. They’re driven by instincts rather than conscious choices. They make decisions before they think about them, regretting in the end.
On the other hand, when you are aware of your choices, you consider all your options before you choose. That’s the only way to make the best choice. Don’t let your mind to be out of control. Stop rushing to fix things up. Take your time and know what you’re doing always.
Don’t let things choose you, choose things! Don’t let events choose you, choose events! Don’t let friends choose you, choose your friends! Be totally aware and conscious of your choices. Take time to analyze your decisions before you let them off.
Every Choice Has a Consequence
Emerson Fosdick said “He who chooses the beginning of a road chooses the place it leads to”. Every choice leads to a destination. When you make a choice in life, you have chosen the start of a road and the consequence is that you’ll end up in the destination where the road leads.
If you are in Abuja for example and you move toward the road that leads to Lokoja, you have automatically chosen Lokoja as a destination even though you’re still in Abuja. That’s how it is with life. If you start attending a music school today, the consequence in that sooner or later you’ll end up a musician. Similarly, if you register for a law program today, the consequence is that you’ll end up a lawyer. Every choice has a consequence and you have to be aware of that.
If you choose a particular way of life, you’ll soon find yourself at the tail end of it. For example, if you choose to be a drug addict today, you’ll soon end up in jail or even a rehab center. The jail is the destination for those who have chosen to be drug dealers and addicts. If as a lady, you choose to live a wayward life, you might soon start nursing children that don’t know their fathers.
If you choose the beginning of a road, you have chosen the end of it. So it’s necessary to find out the consequences of every decision before you take it. Remember, like I mentioned earlier, you cannot blame anyone except yourself for your choices and the resultant consequences.
Choose Only What Is Required
Next, you must learn to choose what you need, not what you want. Every assignment has specified needs. There are specific things you need to fulfill purpose, and you must go for need rather than want. Choices must be need based not want based.
Every stage of your life has its own requirements and you must be aware of the requirement for each stage in order to make the right choices. Stop trying to get by all means what you need for the next stage when you haven’t put in place all you need for the stage you are in right now.
Why is an 18 year old boy in 200 Level looking for a wife? He doesn’t need a wife at that particular stage of his life. What he needs is to focus on his education and come out with the best grades he possibly can. You have to know what you need and when you need it.
It’s just like the story I told earlier about Mary and Martha. Martha was concerned about what she wanted but Mary was concerned about what she needed. Jesus was however quick to draw Martha’s attention to the importance of focusing on what she needed, rather than what she wanted.
Action Validates Choices
When you have made a choice and you don’t act on it, you reduce its value. Choices are worthless without relentless actions. Arnold Glasow said “ideas not coupled with action can never become bigger than the brain cells they occupy”. When you take steps, your choices become reality. When you hesitate, they remain mere ideas in your head. We can therefore conclude that the value of your choices is defined by the steps you have taken to bring them into fruition.
Although you have chosen to enroll into a law program, you don’t become a lawyer by sitting on the couch all day, growing fat. You have to attend lectures, do your assignments, write a series of test and exams and scale through several huddles. It is action that validates choices.
You cannot fulfill destiny without taking giant strides. If you wanna be a giant, you must dare many things. If you don’t dare it, you can’t have it. Remember it is not enough to have an intention. It’s not even enough to make a decision. You must get up and make it happen.
Biblical Examples
1. Adam and Eve: they chose to disobey God. The consequence? They were banished from the Garden of Eden.
1. Esau: he chose to exchange his birth right for food. The consequence? He lost his place and stripped everyone in his lineage after him of their place too.
2. Samson: he chose Delilah over destiny. The consequence? He failed to be the true savior of Israel he was pre-destined to be.
3. Gehazi: he chose to get rich quick, using dubious means. The consequence? He was struck with leprosy.
4. Ananias and Sapphira: they chose to lie. The consequence? They died.
5. Jonah: he chose the wrong route. The consequence? He ended up in the belly of a fish.
6. Judas Iscariot: he chose to betray his master. The consequence? He got hanged.
7. David: he chose to train himself in the bush while others were showing off. The consequence? He was enthroned as king.
8. Daniel: he chose not to defile himself with the king’s meat. The consequence? He became a ruler.
9. Jesus: He chose not to give up, despite all His suffering. The consequence? He now sits at the right hand of God, given the name that is highly exalted above every other name