Chapter3
MYTHS OF AGING
A myth is something we believe in, and often live by. Myths are not necessarily true.
They are the stories of the culture from which they arise. The myths of the ancient Greeks were the beliefs they lived by. Similarly there are myths about aging in our culture. They are what people believe, but are not necessarily true.
For example, people say that as you age you begin to lose your memory. Is this true? The problem is, if you label it, you've got it! You have heard people say "Oh, I’m getting so forgetful now that I am getting older.” Or, “I forgot. I must be getting older.” Affirmations can be positive, or negative, and in this case such affirmations are negative, and very powerful. If your friends say you are forgetting things more, now that you are getting older, they are reinforcing what well may be the myth. My reply to this has been “What, me forgetting things more? Not necessarily; my memory was just as bad 20 years ago!”
The loss of memory is in many cases just a myth that people believe in. It is true that aging does affect some people in this way. But be careful; it may be a myth that is unnecessarily adopted. If memory does slip a bit, exert the extra effort to recall what it is you have “forgotten.” The mind can get lazy and this is reinforced by the excuse that you are getting old. Give it the exercise and apply more positive affirmations.
When you are in a group and are introduced to people, you often immediately forget their names because you are concentrating so hard on what you are going to say next. But don't think that is so unusual. You probably always did it! However, now, you have to try harder to remember, and once you are aware, then it comes naturally.
In fact some old people have fabulous memories, but about the past, and are often very boring because of it. They repeat stories over and over, mostly because they have had no recent interesting new adventures or experiences. This is a habit that can be often overcome if friends help by telling them that they have heard it before, then encourage them to talk about what is new and interesting in life.
Myths can be changed. It depends on what you believe and what you practice.
Another popular myth is that old dogs can’t learn new tricks. Maybe that is true about dogs, but what about you and me? I wonder if learning as you get older is partly a matter of energy. If you don’t have the energy you are probably too tired to learn new things. Again, the power of affirmations comes in and the effort must be exerted if one is to keep learning new things and seeking new adventures. In fact the very act of learning new things can provide the necessary energy for doing it.
I was in a computer store recently and a grey-haired man, probably in his late sixties, was waiting for service, and I cheerily said “It is good to see you interested in computers. What kind of computer do you have?” He replied “Oh it’s not for me. It is for my grandson. I am too old to learn computers.” And that is the popular myth too old to learn new things.
Another popular myth is that the brain shrinks as it gets older. Some cells may indeed die but others replace them, and if the brain is not exercised, as a muscle must be, then in effect it does die. Think how many oldies have gained fame at the age when most people choose to “retire.”
Grandma Moses had to quit embroidery at 76 because of arthritis so she took up painting and became famous and lived to 101. Winston Churchill was defeated as Prime Minister of Great Britain after World War II but got elected to lead the country again at age 77 and continued for another 4 years. Leopold Stokowski was still conducting orchestras in his 80s; and Frank Lloyd Wright was designing and building structures in his 80s and until he was 90. Einstein only made it to 76. Maybe he thought too much!
My father quit at 76 but he didn’t look after himself; mother did.
After 65 “everybody goes downhill.” Perhaps they do, but how much? and how fast? One older person told me "I'm not going downhill; I haven’t reached the top yet!" But it is a myth that everybody goes downhill fast. They say that decline of the body begins in your thirties; so therefore it must be gradual; but it need not be so much that it cramps your lifestyle. Just don’t buy the myth that rapid decline must be characteristic of the retirement period. Fight back!
We have to admit though that some body parts eventually just wear out or break down. But the spirit need not. We may have to face some handicap, but remember that Terry Fox walked across Canada with his handicap.
I interviewed a number of seniors for a project I was doing and got some interesting responses to the question "Are you too old to learn new things?" One person didn't think so. He said "I think that age is irrelevant except at the extreme when the central nervous system poops out."
As we say, myths can be changed.