License Notes
Thank you for downloading this free ebook. Although this is a free book, it remains the copyrighted property of the author, and may not be reproduced, copied and distributed for commercial or non-commercial purposes. Thanks for your support.
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Preface:
Words are not the ideal medium of transference of intent and content of consciousness; I have no qualms in admitting that. Any word, however well meant and well spelt, is a possible suspect of misrepresentation and a possible culprit of uncalled for vibes. That is why, at the very start, I very affectionately request you to be my friend and accept this all as one long conversation between friends. Kindly, accept this not as a book but a ‘confabulation’ between friends. Writing somehow invites bit of egoistic ‘self-worth’ in a writer but I humbly wish to say that please accept that whatever I am saying here emanates out of my very affectionate and compassionate consciousness, desiring life-living wellness and personal excellence for all. It is a heart-felt realization that my very worthy predecessors have already said almost all good things. What I can do is present them in new set of words with novelty of references. The only justification of me telling them is that all goodness and wellness ideas and words need to be repeated and retold, to add to their all-pervasiveness. I share with you whatever I have internalized in my life. All my previous 16 ebooks have been humbly intended to be only this affectionate and compassionate sharing with you, what I have internalized in my life.
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LIFE OF COURSE IS FOR living and enjoying every minute of the living experience in all possible dimensions. However, it is always better to accept that life is for good and meaningful living and it becomes possible only when we care to know a bit more about it than our living conveniences think of. Who does not want a Ferrari or a Lamborghini in her or his house portico? Huge joy it is to have one but surely, the joys become multi-dimensional when you not only know how to drive it. More specifically; how to drive it well! Driving a Ferrari and life is not easy, surely needs a skill set!
Life is not only about possessions and joy of having plenty. It is also about handling the possessions skillfully well; having perfect understanding of how to churn out optimum utility out of every possession. That is why it is this hypothesis I am trying to take to you that life is for living and living it well but it is also about knowing it as this ultimately is the requirement for life-living wellness and personal excellence.
You are young, energetically restless and quite naturally already in love, or intend to be deep down in love. That makes a colossal possession of life. This combination of youthful energy, with the most blissful emotion of life called love and intimacy makes you a huge potential. However, this potential is too big and complex to be taken lightly. This potential, which this combination of ‘young-restless-in love’ unleashes, needs great amount of preparedness and ultimate readiness, before it is too late as most possessions of life usually get squandered for want of good and proper usage. In fact, this potential of the combination has the latent energy to destroy your life-living wellness, if not handled dexterously. I reason it out with you.
It is common knowledge that more powerful the energy, more care and caution it needs in handling. This is possible only when you know about the nature and mechanism of the working of the energy. Youth is major energy. Globally, all cultures pin big hopes on youth as their creative energy has major potential. However, youthful energies need the caution most as this energy is largely reactive and usually misses channelization. The cultural benchmarks of self-worth and success the society makes you pursue madly make you restless and this in turn transforms the youthful energy into an asymmetrical and disorganized force. Moreover, you are also in love or intend to be in love, as it is not only a body-brain requirement but also a cultural benchmark of wellness and success. Love is another huge energy of potentials. The combination, ‘young-restless-in love’ is such a life-living situation, which lands you in such randomized probabilities, which may not be in your control. You need to gear up for randomly probabilistic multiplicities of eventualities, as you are young, restless and in love!
However, if you care to know and understand some key life-living realism, you may be in better control of your potential and may lead them better for enhanced life-living wellness and personal excellence. Just accept and understand a few key aspects of the combination of ‘young-restless-in love’ and you shall definitely be in better shape of things.
It is said, “Every healthy newborn is the most genius entity of the cosmos. However, it takes almost 25 years for the society and culture to make him or her a veritable stupid.” The core hypothesis of this saying is – when you are young, your consciousness has loads of popular cultural element for your value judgment. Your mind consciousness is largely a function of the socio-cultural milieus you are born and brought in and that is why what you think of and accept your ‘self’ and the subjective feeling of ‘I’ or ‘Me’, is essentially something the ambient culture makes you. Only later, when you mature and slow down in life, you start to unlearn many of these cultural stupidities and then only, your mind consciousness has elements, which you can say is a definitive ‘you’.
Youthfulness is a period of multiple ‘I’ and ‘Me’, simultaneously functioning within you and your own subjective sense of ‘I’ is not as evolved and matured to be in control of these different ‘Is’ within your consciousness. This subjective ‘I’ needs to be the ‘master I’, presiding over all ‘Is’, assigning value and utility to all of them, in their respective domains of operation. We shall talk about it more when we talk about consciousness and its mechanism later.
When you are young and as there is so much cultural influence in your consciousness, you usually follow and find true utility in popular benchmarks of self-worth and success. This makes you delve deep down in the competition for possession of more resources for you. On this planet, we are already many times more than what is an ideal population situation. It is only natural that in open market competitiveness, attaining those benchmarks of self-worth and success is not easy. This makes you restless.
I suggest, you read my eBook, ‘Naked Solutions Of Dressed Up Life Woes’ to understand in detail about what exactly is the element of culture in your life and how cultural consciousnesses make your own subjective consciousness a confused and conflicted one. This book shall also help you empower your consciousness, leading you to enhanced life-living wellness and personal excellence.
Even this ‘restlessness’ is culturally induced and your young mind consciousness assigns loads of value and utility to it. You need to pamper your ego and ‘self’ mode to attain pop benchmarks of self-worth and success. An Indian movie actor, who is reigning pop idol for over 20 years says, “Every morning I tell myself, I am the king, the only superstar as I know, I am just an ordinary human being, with average everything. Telling this makes me go and do my job well because, if I do not pep up my egoistic self to stupid heights, I cannot do what I have been doing successfully for last 20 years.” He is right in his own right as he knows that in this competitive world, where all possessions and situations are ephemeral and one’s self-worth, based on these possessions are also short-lived, one needs to keep one’s egoistic subjective self popped up to feel good and keep going. However, it must be added here that this actor is very mature, not young anymore and knows it very well that these talks he does only to himself. Deep within, there is a person, the ‘subjective I’, not the superstar, who masters the ‘I’ of the superstar well and keeps him in right shape.
When you are young and up for grabbing all successes, which society has benchmarked for your self-worth, your mentors as well as peer group shall encourage you to be egoistically aggressive towards your goals of life and in the competitive world, if you wish to be successful. You shall naturally need this self-obsessed and egoistic mind consciousness of ‘me-only’. Somehow, being young and aggressively following these pursuits, automatically qualifies you to be restless.
Be warned, the economy and markets are out there in open to pamper this ‘me-only’ attitude in all people, especially the young and restless as they are their best customer. The markets with loads of brand slogans and advertisements sell you the egoistic attitude of selfish-self. They keep telling you – ‘You Are The King’. They mold your mind consciousness into such a mode by repeatedly telling you – “Be yourself”. This be yourself slogan is essentially an open invite to self-centered indulgence and instant-self-gratification. This is a sure invite to a consciousness of drift with the very powerful culture of consumption. This drags you into the personality perspective, where your self-worth and success are defined by how much you possess and consume. Your self-worth becomes a market entity and a definitive object of calculability of consumptions.
This situation is far more complex and intense if you happen to be a young woman. Young women are being pushed to lot many things, which are new to their traditional cultural consciousness. They are more prone to being more split in their conscious choices and priorities. The markets have sensed the new energy and force of the new empowered women and they are targeting the women as number one customer. This slogan of “Be yourself” is a powerful cultural messaging and metaphor for the modern women to ride on the wave of defining the self-worth and success calculable only in terms of possession and consumption.
In my eBook, ‘Hey Beautiful, You Are The Hope’ I have detailed the issues of neo-feminism, which may help modern women understand their priorities right in contemporary age of conflict and conundrum.
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To be in love is your bio-sociological need when you are young and your body-mind is in action-reaction mode. However, the requirement of love is also more cultural than purely biological. Most of the benchmarks of success and utility in love and intimate relationship that dominate your mind consciousness come from the ambient popular culture. Love may somehow be bio-chemical experience of mind consciousness but its expression and social exhibition take influences far more from popular cultural ideas and practices of relationship. There is loads of culture in you and you are at your dualistic best. All these are recipes for tumult and turmoil.
When you were kids, you were probably told, ‘Study hard and do well in your class. You will get all pleasures and comforts of life only when you toil now to have a successful career’. Nobody would have told you to study hard so that when you grow up, you would be in a better position to understand the conflicts of life and would be successful in discerning good and bad. People all around would have told you that if you became successful persons, you would get beautiful and wealthy wife. Nobody would have told you what you would then do with your beautiful wife. You were not trained how to love your wife well, how to make her happy and how best to become a caring and successful husband.
This mental training of counting pleasure and discounting pains defined in terms of utility, possession and consumption kills the real joys of life and living. It shortens the horizon of satisfaction; it does not allow us to be what we are born for. There is a need to correct so many wrong benchmarks of goodness defined by this chaotic populist worldview, dished out by the contemporary culture.
It is so strange; a lover says to his beloved, ‘My dear, I would pluck the moon and stars and stitch them on your silk bodice, I would buy all the flowers of the world and pour them on your feet’. Strange! Why can’t the lover say, ‘My love, join me, be in my arms so that together we see the beauty and exuberance of the beautiful moon and stars, come and breathe the fantastic fragrances of the rose, the different flowers that God has been so kind to bestow us with. Let us pray together, thank God for such joys in our lives and beseech his blessings for making us together, allowing us the satisfaction’.
Why is this mind training to pluck a beautiful rose from the Garden of the God and tuck it in the locks of our beloved? Who trained our minds to define the worth of things based on our personal utility? Why does our mind understand pleasure only in possessing things for our personal utilities? Why success and status is defined in terms of how much we have available for our personal consumptions and possessions? Why do people value and respect a man who has million dollars in his pocket but knows no poetry, no music, no dance, no decency to respect fellow human beings and not even a language of respectability for others? Why is it that love and compassion in mind is considered a threat to individual success? This surely is our faulty mind training! This cultural populism has ingrained deep in our consciousness and we need our subjective consciousness to become empowered to understand this futility to enhance our life-living wellness and personal excellence.
Our mental training to see the world as a stage for perpetuity of action, aimed at personal acquisition, based on societal and cultural notions of utility, possession and consumption is major trouble. This somehow engenders a consciousness in all of us, which is majorly and perpetually reactive, as against the need of being receptive. This makes us refuse to see the mechanism of cosmic realism all around us. When you are young and in love, there is loads of culture in your mind consciousness and this has the potential to land you in many troubles.
There are larger questions in our lives. Why are we born? Why and for what we live? What is the ultimate aim and end of life – money, status, power and prestige...or for that matter attaining spiritualism and moksha (liberation)? Since thousands of years, the questions have remained with humanity and the struggle to find the right answers. Well and good if we humans find the ultimate end of life; the final destination of all of us and most important is that we should all agree to that. However, if we see the larger picture and accept facts objectively, with whatever knowledge humanity has so far evolved and understood, we shall have to accept that all life on earth, including humans and its evolution is one huge random and multi-dimensional event-cyclicality.
On the other hand, what we humans make out of it and charter our own ways for survival, purpose and excellence is another multi-dimensional cyclicality. Both forces, though inter-dependent only at the core and having some patterns, which can be replicable, still, they remain highly and intricately randomized. The element of unpredictability, inadvertence, accidentality and asymmetricality in both largely sovereign forces of the cosmos only ensures that humanity can never ever remain in perpetuity of singular purpose, peace and order. Especially in contemporary situation, when humanity long before evolved and acquired the criticality of conscious intelligence, which is bound to lead it to ever-growing entropy (degrading randomization) and ultimate extinction in the long run.
Finding a purpose and purity of singular pattern or model of culture and virtuosity for global community is out of question. The mechanism of cosmic realism never ever allows it. It is more impossible now. The wise can only understand that and find his or her own subjective peace. Maturity makes you understand the futility and redundance of the intellectual concerns of life’s larger purpose and the material desire of life’s acquisitions. When you grow deep within, find yourself in perfect reception of love and compassion, it makes you understand that the true wisdom is not in reaching but in traveling well. May be also because, there is no destination and reaching. Love and compassion and its accompanying innocence is the greatest intellectualism, it is the best acquisition, if one defines life’s purpose in terms of acquisition and possessions.
Understand love and also understand how your consciousness works. This makes you lead your life well as your own subjective self alone can make a model of subjective wellness for yourself. The world shall always remain how it has been since ages. We however can create our own subjective wellness and excellence within this world and its popular culture of meaningless utilities. You must understand how much of you is cultural compulsions and how much of you is purely your own discretionary self. This is the only safeguard against the possible catastrophe that this powerful combination of ‘young-restless-in love’ has the potential to unleash.
You already know how most troubles of life-living experiences happen in youth and most emanate from relationship confusion. This is the period of your mind consciousness, when there is very little of ‘discerning and definitive you’ in it. The predominant cultural subconscious ‘you’ in your ‘I’ and ‘Me’ is a sure element of trouble for you. If you care to understand how your consciousness works and what love and its mechanism is all about, you shall be in better control of your life-living wellness and personal excellence. We first deal with issue of Love and then follow it with understanding Consciousness.
Love is ideally acceptable with its three elements of Mystery, Magic and Marvel. Most of us feel, if love is made to be understood with objective technicalities of science, the three ‘M’s’ of love withers away. The three ‘M’s’ land most of us in inexplicable troubles and pains of love, still, we do not wish to understand the mechanism in its objective and scientific terms, which can put us in good stead, vis-à-vis all the love troubles.
This mysticism of love is what most lovers get attracted to initially. This suits the consciousness of love. This marvel of love gives the young men and women huge kicks of life. Young minds get huge thrills in journeying amidst the mist of mysticism of love as precariousness of the enterprise always has its own joy. Similar is the human desire, when it comes to religion and spiritualism. Mysticism is preferred state here too. However, this mysticism further confuses those in love and faith and this confusion in turn leads to calamitous patterns of behaviors and actions in love. The resultant pain and chaos is cyclic.
Sciences may not be in a position right now to tell us in perfect details as why and how, what happens in love. However, there are huge research-backed substantiations explaining lot many aspects of the purely physical and bio-chemical mechanisms and processes of love, as human mind handles them. This surely takes away lots of mysticism, magic and marvel out of the age-old notion of love and archetypal imagery of love in society. However, it is hugely helpful in clearing the mist of confusion and chaos around the very core idea of love.
It is a humble suggestion that objective knowledge about something never ever takes away the subjective joys. It rather enhances them. We all know it very well that an actor on the movie screen is just portraying and professing a role or character still, we cry with them and get emotionally one with the fictitious character. The knowledge, that the actor is actually not dead and it is only the character he portrayed is dead in the movie, does not anyway reduce our emotional joy and satisfaction of movie viewing. The knowledge surely enhances our joys and nullifies the pain, as we know, at the end of day everything is back to real.
The dualism of love is actually the root cause of why such a beautifully powerful and beneficial facility called love becomes a cause of pain and trouble. When we do not understand the mechanism of something very clearly, mysticism is bound to creep in and it shall unleash the destructive energy of confusion. We need to understand the mechanism of love in scientifically explained terms to enhance the joy of love.
The mechanism of mind, explained in terms of detailed neurochemical and neuroelectrical processes in pure scientific traditions may not be suitable for all of us. Therefore, what we shall talk about here is just an outline and simplified description of the mechanism.
What we are attempting to bring out from our discussion is the ‘dualism’ inherent in the mechanism and processes of love, as human mind handles it. We also need to accept that it is not something which science is telling us now. Thousands of years back, great minds of spiritualism and philosophy have told similar facts about consciousness, the cardinal position of love in it and the dualism, which consciousness faces about the emotional positioning of love.
Human mind is where all mysticisms emanate and end. The multilayered mechanisms of mind is one huge mystery, humanity has been attempting to unravel since thousands of years. The spiritualism and philosophy have given its own interpretation. Science has taken over and presented great facts about mind mechanism, its structure and functions and this has led humanity to understand lot many things about consciousness.
Human brain is the central mechanism for ensuring the survival and excellence of human body and it has to be accepted that the conscious and subconscious mind accepts and expresses almost everything in terms of its primary and pivotal role of ensuring a mechanism for survival and excellence. This interpretation of human mind looks so demeaning as we all are inclined to accept ourselves as something big and a lofty and special creation of God. Accepting ourselves as an entity, with base idea of survival is revolting.
That is why, science says, “the idea of a self, in objecting terms is often pitted against the ‘self’ itself, which we have been used to accepting subjectively since thousands of years.”
Just for knowing the mechanism, we need to accept that human mind ensures this survival and excellence through a continuous and complicated maintenance of a process called homeostasis – better understandable as ‘poise’. All wisdoms, old or new, since thousands of years, have talked about the importance of this idea called ‘poise’, explained in terms of philosophy and spiritualism. Science unravels its physiological, bio-chemical and psychosomatic aspects.
In lower organisms, the homeostasis or poise is only physiological and biological but as human mechanism is very complex, human mind has to perform a complex and multidimensional homeostasis. In humans, the poise also has to be bio-sociological, psychological, emotional, spiritual as well as volitional. We are talking about this all because, love has to do specifically with this homeostasis thing and the trouble it creates also emanates from this.
There are sufficient scientific researches to establish that when people are in true love and absolute intimacy, their overall homeostasis is in great shape and this reflects in their healthy state of mind and body as well as behavior-action. The reverse has also been established as researches show, when people are in instable and unsettled love elements, their body gets affected and they land in serious body-mind dysfunction and even death.
Science has also established that most of the behavior-action of humans is instinctive and intuitive. Even the learned behavior, the nurture part, in time becomes part of instinctive behavior and nature. The simple idea is, almost everything, which our conscious and subconscious mind accepts and expresses, has to be in consonance and conformity with the larger homeostasis, which is essential for survival and excellence.
The conscious as well as the subconscious minds operates in a way, which is mystical for most of us as most operations and processes are intangible and we are mostly oblivious of it. That is also why, love, which is a very potent, cardinal and critical element of behavioral and emotional expression of our consciousness, remains in the mist of mysticism, magic and marvel.
However, we all can now understand the mechanism of this mysticism of love consciousness and come out of the veil of mysticism, standing tall on the ground of practical and tangible realism. This we can do by understanding how essentially our larger consciousness is an intangible expression of homeostasis process and how love is the strongest and most authoritative voice of this consciousness; seeking perpetuity of ‘poise’ – the larger homeostasis.
The process of making of consciousness, which stays with us lifelong, starts even when we are in mother’s womb. The sense of ‘self’ or to say, the question as ‘who I am’, starts to take shape when in womb, a child gets the feel of sounds and vibrations around. The unconscious mind of child starts accepting these elements of his immediate milieu as part of its homeostasis requirements. Science admits; a newborn child is designed to be born as a genius. It readies itself for the environment outside the womb by imbibing the signals it receives inside the womb. That is why; modern couples start the education of their kids well in the womb itself.
From the day first, the human child is instinctively loaded with one facility, which helps him or her evolve his or her ‘self’ – the subjective consciousness. This facility is instinctive inquisitiveness – the insatiable inclination to know. This desire also seems to be a beautiful expression of the homeostasis mechanism of body-mind consciousness. The mind can maintain poise only when it incessantly updates information about the surrounding environment and makes prompt decisions about the utility of these information for maintaining homeostasis.
It is here the trouble seems to start for humanity. The need to know exposes the mind to loads of multiplicity of information in the larger environment. As subconscious mind of the child starts to accept and adopt most of them as ‘essential’ for his homeostasis, he or she becomes unconsciously predisposed to these information and they become part of his or her larger consciousness, which science refers to as love/belief system.
Even before a child grows up to become an adult, he or she already accepts thousands of beliefs. However, most of these beliefs are based on his or her personal and subjective interpretations of experiences, inferences, assumptions, probabilities, deductions, inductions, and loads of oversimplifications, which the subconscious mind is expert at making. Most of these beliefs are very much part of the subconscious mind and continue to present themselves as potent referrals for conscious mind even years after. We all have heard people saying, an adult’s love is very much a reflection of what he or she got in childhood. We all know, a love-deficit childhood engenders an adult with troubled love life.
All these beliefs, which a child acquires, form part of the ‘self’, the subjective consciousness, about which we always keep asking question as ‘who I am’. Our subconscious mind starts building an image of ‘self’ and this process expresses itself in mystically intangible ways. We unconsciously start extending the limits of our ‘self-image’ in things and beliefs around us. It starts with we identifying with our body first, then with our mind, our family, friends, neighbors, teachers, partners, the special someone and later with our career, assets, ethnicity, nationality, gender etc. As we grow in life, we identify more with ideas and issues. All these are expression of our ‘self’, the consciousness.
We adopt them in our minds and guard them very ferociously as if they were part of our ‘self’. We fight over our people and beliefs like we fight for our dear life and well-being. It is because, they are part of our self and anything against them threatens our homeostasis, making us react fiercely. This is mystical. We may think, we are fighting for the cause of our dear ones or dear beliefs but essentially, we are fighting for our own survival, which is expressed in terms of homeostasis.
We all know, how people feel so strongly about their family, loved ones, ethnicity and nationality. People go to the extent of sacrificing their lives for the dear cause of family and even nation. It is very simple to understand why people do not think twice, giving up their lives for lovers and even something as vague as loss of their favorite football club. People commit suicide even when their favorite pop star falls from stairs and hurts him or her seriously. This is no joke. These incidents somehow are very intense and as some people accept it as something seriously threatening their ‘self – their very homeostasis wellness, they feel, their very survival is threatened. The reaction can be very disproportionate and precarious. They often are in love!
We all need to understand and accept it with a non-judgmental and objective mind that usually, when we are in love; we are in the ‘mystical middle’ of a very intense and powerful dualism. True love is one beautiful and everlasting ‘poise’ of person and personality. However, in our pop culture, we all can see how love is one huge ‘psychosis’. The trouble is, both poise and psychosis can be simultaneously present and active in one single person, at any given time.
A person seeks to be in love to internalize this ‘poise’ to the core of his or her personality. However, the same person is battling against the psychosis on the periphery of his or her personality as the culture and society we live in, exposes him or her to loads of conflicts and competitiveness. This dualism often expresses itself in chaotic love emotions.
When we love someone, he or she becomes an essential and ingrained part of our ‘self-image’ and systemic wellness homeostasis. We start taking him or her for granted as part of ‘me’ and ‘mine’. That is why; when there is trouble in love, or a situation, where it seems the love-situation is unsettled, we feel hugely threatened. We unconsciously feel that our very survival and core wellness is threatened. In this unsettled situation, the very person, who was the ‘receiver’ of all our love- largesse, poses as the one, who is a threat to our wellness.
We all have experienced and witnessed this situation all around us when a lover kills his or her beloved and also kills himself or herself. Why? This dualism plays the villain. The dualism of the subconscious mind makes us do all unimaginable things. The simple reason is – when your love is threatened, your unconscious mind quickly attempts to identify the ‘enemy’, who threatened your survival instincts. As your beloved himself or herself is someone, who jolted your love-wellness, the unconscious mind identifies him or her as enemy. The war is then declared against this ‘enemy’.
The dualism is pl