When Carl speaks to himself and to the world about himself, he will choose what he says based on how he perceives what has happened to him. Retelling the story of our lives in new ways means that we stay with the facts of what happened as best we can. How we read those facts, how we give them form and thus meaning, remain part of our right and power to choose how we respond to the world. To choose what attitude we take toward what has happened in our lives. That response and that attitude will go a long way to determining how life will go for us now and in the future. When Carl sees through his "I am dumb" meaning perspective, he will see and tell his story in one way, and when he critically reflects on that meaning perspective and frees himself from it, he will tell quite a different story.
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I was always in special ed classes, so we went real slow. That meant we didn’t cover much that way, and I guess that was okay for us because we couldn't learn all that well. Nobody expected very much of us, and I guess that was just as well so we didn't feel too bad. We didn't learn too much but that seems pretty fair after all.
They gave us all our diploma in high school, but that was just because they wanted to be nice and get us out of there. I mean I'm glad I got the diploma, but I don't know that it means much about what I learned. I just like to say I got it on a job application.
I had a job when I was in school. People felt sorry for me because they knew my Mom and Dad, so they would show me how to do things so I could learn them. I did okay when they took lots of time to show me how.
They really needed people at the mine when I applied, and I felt lucky when they let me work as a laborer. I was around long enough so that when they had other openings, they let me try things out. It took a long time, but I finally learned some new things and got better jobs at the mine.
When they had to lay off workers, they chose me, and I felt really bad about that. I know it was because I just wasn't as good as other drivers. That's the story of my life.
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I don't remember how they tested me or anything, but one day there I was in special ed. It was hard to learn much because we went so slow, and they didn't ask for much, but I worked as hard as I could and learned to read and write really well, and I even learned how to do math. Not everybody did, so I feel really good about that.
When it came time to graduate, I know that some people thought they just gave us a diploma. I know that I earned my diploma because I worked harder than my friends to get what I could out of those special ed classes, and I use what I learned every day.
People gave me a job in high school because they knew my family. They weren't sorry because even if I took longer to learn, I learned and did my best, more than what anybody asked or expected.
The mine paid real good, and I took my laborer job seriously always doing my best and a little more. It was that that made them let me try the heavy equipment. It was a lot to learn, but I kept at it, and I learned it. I got very good, and I never had an accident or damaged the equipment. I was very good.
The price of copper fell, and they just had to lay off a lot of people. They did it by seniority, and it got to be my turn. We all felt really bad, but it wasn't our fault. |
Carl told this story to me in these two ways from when I first met him until we finished out time together. The one on the left came when I spoke to him at first, and he told me that story so I would get to know him. The one on the right came out as we worked together, and he experienced how well he had learned and could learn things he never thought he could learn and do things he never thought he could do. He changed his story, recognized his intelligence, accepted how he worked best, and that made for a change in how he learned and how he felt about himself and what he could do.