Once upon a time many centuries ago, there was an old wealthy rum guzzling pirate called Captain James Launder, and he was the captain of a thirty-crew pirate ship called Big Bessie. This old sea dog fought every sea and land battle with a fighting spirit of a man half his age. But there would be one particular adventure that Captain Launder and his men were never going to forget. Ten weeks sailing south from Talland Bay, Cornwall, land ahoy was finally seen in the far distance. Big Bessie sailed into the bay and her anchor was lowered into the water. But before anyone stepped ashore, Pirate Skegg checked out the island through his telescope from the crow's nest, and sights a wooden sign nailed to a tree.
“Well lad, what does it read?” inquired Captain Launder.
“Sorry Captain… but I can only read a little!” replied Pirate Skegg.
“There can't be that many words written on the sign lad, not unless someone's left you a love letter,” laughed Captain Launder turning to his men.
Pirate Skegg holds his telescope steadily, so he was able to read the sign.
“The sign says, “No… Mans… Land… 1750!”
“1750? That’s five years ago” curiously replied Captain Launder tapping one finger on his chin. Overhearing their conversation, Pirate Pook tells of a story that his uncle told him many years ago.
“Forty pirates got marooned on an island called No Man’s Land. He told of fairies flying around everywhere. They were wearing gold tiaras, encrusted with pearls and gold rings as well as bracelets coated with diamonds. The treasure belonged to a princess who was very unhappy and sad, for her prince had promised to return to her; but never had. In return the princess cursed every single piece of the treasure on the land. It was said that any man who would take the treasure for himself, shared its curse. The fairies sailed off stealing their ship leaving the pirates with all the treasure marooned on the island for many years.” Captain Launder and his men could not stop laughing.
“Well, there's plenty of men now to keep the little princess happy, but if any fairy on that island feel they have enough courage to steal my ship, then they had better come forth very quickly while I'm still in a good laughing mood!” loudly replied Captain Launder with hysterical laughter.
One boat was lowered into the water to take Captain Launder and twelve of his men ashore to the beach. The remaining crew stayed back on board to keep Big Bessie in safe keeping while she was anchored in the bay. Pirate Chipper noticed something shiny moving in amongst the trees and shouts for Captain Launder to come quickly. Sat on a branch high in the tree was the most beautiful fairy creature anybody had ever seen. The fairy was wearing an emerald-coloured dress with a gold tiara encrusted with pearls clipped to its long mane of golden hair, and gold rings and bracelets were worn on each hand.
“Blimey!” said Captain Launder drinking a swig of rum from his bottle. The pirates were speechless and could not take their eyes off her. Just as they went to take one step closer, a pair of wings suddenly protruded from the fairies back and she briskly flew off flying into the dense woods.
“Swords and pistols at the ready men and follow that fairy!” ordered Captain Launder raising his sword.
Venturing half a mile, the pirates came to an opening in the woods where they came across a big, long wooden table that was completely covered with enough food and rum-filled barrels to feed an entire ship’s crew for a week. Hundreds of solid gold coins and pearls were scattered over the table. The pirates suddenly heard a whisper of voices coming from high in the trees. When all the pirates looked up, there was not just one fairy, but lots of them sat in the doorways of their little houses in the trees.
“Blimey! We've hit the jackpot men! So fill your faces till your bellies are full, however men, as little as what the fairies are, be sure to keep your wits about you,” whispered Captain Launder not wanting the fairies to hear.
After three hours of eating and drinking, the pirates were drunk and asleep. Suddenly, loud shouting for Captain Launder was heard coming through the woods. It was Pirate Pook and the rest of the pirates that stayed back on-board Big Bessie.
“We’re over here lads!” said Captain Launder stirring from his sleep.
“I'm really sorry Captain!” said Pirate Pook trying to catch his breath back. “One by one the fairies threw us overboard into the water leaving us to swim ashore. We all put up a hard and brave fight Captain to save Big Bessie, but the fairies got really nasty and became too strong and overpowering.” Captain Launder looked up into the trees and all the fairies had gone, and every single pirate’s sword and pistol were nowhere to be found. The Captain clenched his fist and shouted angrily at the top of his voice.
“Wake up men! Grab as much treasure as you can and get back to the boat now!”
The pirates ran back through the woods heading as fast as they could towards the beach, but they were all too late, the fairies had stolen Big Bessie and smashed their boat into pieces leaving Captain Launder and his men stranded on the beach.
All the fairies on board Big Bessie were transforming back into men. But it was only then that Captain Launder realised that the fairies had been planning their getaway off the island since 1750.
“When you get your chance to get off the island, don't take the treasure because it's cursed!” shouted a man from Big Bessie’s bridge.
Captain Launder sat helplessly on the beach as he watched Big Bessie being stolen away to sea, until she was out of sight in the distance. Then suddenly, one by one the pirates dropped to the ground screeching with unbearable pain, as wings started to protrude from their backs until they themselves, were each turned into a beautiful fairy. Captain Launder and his men were embarrassingly turned into fairies and left marooned on the island, hundreds of miles away in the middle of nowhere. There was nothing they could do but to sit and wait for a passing ship to drop anchor in the bay. Every pirate fairy including Captain Launder took their two-hour turn keeping watch at the beach shoreline, sitting high in a tree awaiting sight of a ship. Every day that passed, a mark on a tree was crossed off. Days became weeks and weeks became long dragging months. Each fairy had their own magic wands that matched the colour of their dresses. By waving their wands five times in an anti-clockwise motion, they could wish for as much food as what they wanted to eat, but only as much rum as what they could sit and look at; because being little fairies brought very little appetite and thirst as alcohol made them feel very sick. Everyman had his own share of its given curse.
On the Seventh hundred and fortieth day, a big ship finally sailed into the bay. Fairy Chipper swiftly flew back through the woods to raise the alarm. All the pirate fairies came to look at the ship that would hopefully get them off the island. They sat hiding in the trees making sure not one fairy was to be seen until the men from the ship were on the beach and lured into the same fate Captain Launder and his men were subjected to. Fairy Skegg perched himself high amongst the branches and leaves of the trees to take a closer look at the ship though his telescope.
“I want the full details on that flag and the name of the ship, if it’s not too many words for you to read lad!” asked Fairy Launder in a loud whisper.
“It’s a black flag with a picture of a pirate standing on the head of a skull. The name on the side of the ship reads… Looe”
“Blimey! If it isn't our very own Pirate Bertie,” replied Fairy Launder. “Had many a drunken fight with him over the years”
“Did you win Captain?” asked Fairy Pook.
“What do you think I am, a big fairy? Of course I won lad!” answered Fairy Launder in a whisper. A boat carrying ten men including Pirate Bertie was observed on the water heading towards the beach.
“Those pirates who stole Big Bessie and smashed our boat into pieces so that we couldn't get back to our ship… we have got to make sure that these pirates can't either!” said Fairy Chipper.
“I'm the captain of a pirate ship, not a powder puff and I want that ship to get us all off this island, so a fight to the death we’ll have men!” quietly proposed Fairy Launder shaking a clenched fist in the air.
“Fight to the death!” whispered the fairy pirates each raising their wands.
“Who’s the prettiest fairy to lure the men back to the woods then Captain?” asked Pook.
“Now that you've mentioned it Pook, I think you could do the job splendidly” suggested Fairy Launder, with a big grin on his face.
“And don't forget to put a big smile on your face for the boys Pook” replied Fairy Chipper, laughing.
“That’s the only ship in seven hundred and forty days that has passed this way, so if you think it's so funny Chipper, maybe you would like to be the fairy that entertains those men while the rest of us go back to get the table ready!” angrily replied Fairy Launder pointing to the ship anchored in the bay.
The boat carrying ten of the ship’s men were eventually at the shore, and it wasn't long before Pirate Bertie and his men caught sight of Fairy Pook sat in the tree. They could not quite believe the fairy creature was real but just as they went to take a step closer, a pair of wings protruded from Fairy Pook’s back, and he briskly took off flying into the dense woods.
“Swords and pistols at the ready men and follow that fairy!” ordered Pirate Bertie raising his sword in the air.
Venturing half a mile, the pirates came to the same opening in the woods, where they came across a big, long wooden table that was completely covered with enough food and rum to feed an entire ship’s crew for a week. Hundreds of solid gold coins and pearls were scattered over the table. The pirates suddenly heard whisper of voices coming from high up in the trees. When all the pirates looked up, there was not just one fairy, but lots of them sat in the doorways of their little tree homes. Fairy Launder and his fairy pirates looked very enchanting, wearing their sparkling jewels and different coloured dresses with matching-coloured wands.
“Looks like we've hit the fairy jackpot men,” whispered Pirate Bertie to his men.
After several hours of eating and drinking, the pirates were drunk and asleep. But it was not before long when loud shouting noises for Pirate Bertie was heard coming through the woods.
“One by one, the fairies threw us overboard into the water leaving us to swim ashore! We fought back with our lives, but they were too vicious and overpowering for us!” said the pirates. Pirate Bertie looked up into the trees and all the fairies had gone, and every single pirate’s sword and pistol were nowhere to be found. Pirate Bertie clenched his fist and shouted angrily at the top of his voice.
“Wake up men! Fill your pockets with as much treasure as you can take and get back to the boat now!”
The pirates ran back through the woods heading as fast as they could towards the beach, but they were all too late. Fairy Launder and his fairy pirates had stolen Looe and smashed their boat into pieces leaving Pirate Bertie and his men stranded on the beach. All the fairy pirates on-board Looe were once again transforming back into men. But it was only then Pirate Bertie realised that Captain Launder and his men had been planning their getaway off the island.
“When you get your chance to get off the island, don't take the treasure because it's cursed!” Shouted Captain Launder from Looe’s bridge. Pirate Bertie sat helplessly on the beach as he watched his ship being stolen away to sea, until she was out of sight in the distance. Suddenly, one by one the pirates dropped to the ground screeching with unbearable pain as wings start to protrude from their backs until they were each turned into a beautiful fairy. Pirate Bertie and his men were embarrassingly turned into fairies and left marooned on an island hundreds of miles away in the middle of nowhere, and there was nothing they could do but to sit and wait for a passing ship to drop anchor in the bay.
Captain Launder and his men were no more than three days at sea when Pirate Skegg caught sight of a ship through his telescope in the distance. The pirates sailed Looe a little closer for a better view of the ship.
“Blimey! If it isn't our very own Big Bessie” said Captain Launder standing on the ship's bridge.
“Shall we fire the guns Captain?” asked Pirate Chipper.
“Over my watery grave Chipper, I want that ship back undamaged!” loudly replied Captain Launder pointing to his ship in the distance. Looking very closely through his telescope, Pirate Skegg could not see one man on-board. All the pirates took their positions, ready to fight with swords in hand and pistols fully loaded. Pulling up alongside Big Bessie, Captain Launder shouted across for any man hiding on board the ship to come out with their hands held high, but there was no answer. Captain Launder and fourteen of his men boarded Big Bessie. Something shiny lying on the deck beside Pirates Skegg’s left foot caught Pirate Pook’s attention. Looking down closer, he noticed it was a gold coin which he quickly picks up giving it to Captain Launder. The Captain stared at the gold coin in his hand with great curiosity and thought.
“Don't take the treasure because it's cursed, but somebody had taken the treasure with them!”
“So what happened then Captain?” asked Pirate Skegg.
“The curse stays with each man who takes the treasure, which means Skegg… he or they are still wearing frilly underwear” laughed Captain Launder. The first place everyone very carefully looked was in between the ship’s sails; they all had to look no further. Three fairies were to be found sitting on the ships sail rigging. Captain Launder tried peacefully to coax and encourage the fairies down to talk, with an attempt to come to an agreement. After a conversation of whispering, the three fairies decided to fly a little closer but still keeping their distance. The fairies explained the situation that when they left the island of No Man’s Land, they did not transform back into men like everyone else. One fairy was still wearing a gold ring, and the other two fairies found a gold coin and a pearl inside each of their dress pockets. All three fairies had taken the curse with them, and it wasn't long before the Captain realised that three of his men were unaccounted for. Having little choice of spaces to hide and too far to fly anywhere, all three of the fairies were eventually found two hours later. The Captain and his crew completely refused to take them back to the island to reverse the curse, and so made plans to sell the fairies as soon as the ship got back home to England. The fairies were left with no choice but to put up a fierce fight, ending with every single man including the Captain being thrown overboard into the deep ocean. They could not find the ship’s map and compass to navigate their way back to the island of No Man’s Land. All three fairies were lost at sea ever since they left the island. Captain Launder thought deeply for a few minutes and only spoke aloud when a decision of intention was decided.
“I propose we should all sail back to the island of No Man’s Land and give that princess a drop of her very own medicine”
The pirates looked around at one another with uncertainty until Pirate Pook was the first to speak out.
“I'm sorry Captain, but I don't fancy being turned into one of those things again” he said pointing to the fairies.
“We don't either,” said the rest of the pirates.
“It comes a time in a pirate’s life when you've got to find the courage to go back and confront your worst fears, and being made to wear a dress with matching coloured underwear for seven hundred and forty days without a drop of rum is just about my worst! So hands up high men! What pirate has got the courage to sail back with me to bury and burn the princesses curse to a cinder?” asked Captain Launder in a loud voice.
Every pirate cheered and even the fairies raised their hands and voted in favour with Captain Launder. The pirates split into two parties, one taking hold of Looe and the other taking hold of Big Bessie with Captain Launder at the helm.
Within three days of sailing back, Pirate Skegg eventually caught sight of the island in the distance through his telescope. Once both ships had dropped anchor in the bay, the three fairies quickly flew to the island to tell Fairy Bertie and his men of their plans. Once the fairies gave the all clear by waving their magic wands from high in a tree, a boat from Looe was then lowered into the water to carry Captain Launder and ten men to the shore. Leaving only the strongest fighting men on board the two ships in case of any reprisal and betrayal. Trekking half a mile, the pirates once again stopped when they approached the opening in the woods. Fairy Bertie and his fairy men were not looking very happy sat in their tree houses.
“You have been very lucky Pirate Bertie!” shouted Captain Launder. “It has been a grand total of six days for you and your men dressed in frilly underwear. Seven hundred and forty days we had to endure that cruel curse, so you and your men Bertie, can thank my men and I for coming back to save you”
“Just get me out of this horrible dress and off this island and I will call it a truce!” hollered Fairy Bertie.
“I want every man to make a thorough check of his pockets that they are completely empty of any treasure, because I am certain of one thing… I will not be coming back to this island for a third time” warned Captain Launder.
Every single piece of the treasure was thrown into a pit and hopefully buried forever. The fairy tree houses and the long wooden feast table were smashed to pieces and burned to a cinder. Just as the pirates and the fairies were about to leave, a bright glowing light was seen emerging from the woods. As the glow got closer and closer, the light started to turn darker and darker until a big witch’s face appeared.
“This isn't looking good!” shrieked Pirate Skegg with fear.
Captain Launder stood ready for the challenge with his sword in one hand and pistol in the other.
“I have no less courage now than what it took for me to come back to this island. In fact, I've suddenly found myself with a hell of a lot more!” he roared angrily at the top of his voice.
Pirate Skegg ran in fear, followed by the pirates and fairies. Captain Launder was the only pirate left standing to fight this dark force.
“Fight to the death! I'm not afraid of you, whatever you are!”
Out of the darkness of the witches face the most beautiful princess fairy appeared. Her long white pearl sequinned dress and waist length golden hair caught the sparkle of the sunlight that was shining down through the opening in the woods. Captain Launder dropped to his knees.
“Blimey! You really are the most beautiful princess” said Captain Launder feeling quite speechless, dropping his sword and pistol.
“You are the only man in a hundred years that finally found the courage to come back to this island to help your fellow men. You also found the courage to confront me without running away, and for that, you shall be rewarded Captain Launder. Hold out your right hand,” said the Princess. With that, she waved her magic wand in an anti-clockwise motion until a big red ruby appeared in the middle of Captain Launder’s hand.
“Blimey! Wearing frilly knickers for seven hundred and forty days wasn't so bad after all,” said Captain Launder, biting the ruby between his teeth to see if it was real. The princess started to fade away back into the dark light until she completely vanished. When Captain Launder got back to the beach, he told everyone a story that he killed the witch by stabbing her straight through the heart with his sword. Pirate Bertie was given his ship back and all the fairies were transformed back into men.
The story of the princess was sworn to secrecy and was never told by any man again. Until one day, many centuries later, a ship’s chest was found in the basement of a house, and inside laid the sea journal of Captain James Launder.
The End