SANDRA'S SUMMER HOLIDAY
We’ve been together for quite a while now, me and Sandra. She sort of looks after me because I’m a bit limited in the brain department, if you get my meaning, and someone has to be responsible, which is only Sandra’s way of saying she loves me. Sounds a bit soppy, but that’s the way she feels about it. Maybe she could do better for herself, but I don’t think I could get rid of her even if I wanted to, which I don’t. I can get a bit soppy myself. I might be thick, but I’ve got feelings.
We plan on taking our summer holidays soon, which is something to look forward to, as Sandra goes in for cool, summery sort of clothing. That’s just another way of saying she likes to get the sun on her skin, and that’s just another way of saying I see a lot more of her than usual, and that’s just a way of saying it takes a bit of doing, considering what she wears at home in front of a blazing good fire in the middle of winter.
Not that she doesn’t look nice in the winter when she’s dressed up to go outside. She has this sort of almost real sheepskin calf -length coat, dyed red, with a pure white furry collar that she pulls up to almost hide her face. I always reckon she looks like one of the gnomes from Santa Claus Land in that outfit, but Sandra says that she probably looks more like Mary Christmas. I can tell by looking at her that that’s meant to be a joke of some sort, but I don’t really get it, which Sandra says doesn’t give her any great surprise.
Anyway, this year, we intend to go on a boating holiday, cruising along the canals, and maybe getting as far as Stratford. Sandra says if I behave myself she won’t make me go to see one of Shakespeare’s plays in the theatre. I don’t