Fine, man, don't believe me - here I go out of my way and come to you with a story that could change the way you see the world forever and you just brush me off like some lunatic in the street. I listen to all your boring, pointless stories and don't complain, but here I see a miracle and you shrug it off. No, not a miracle, something better than a miracle because anyone can do this. I'm talking about turning the impossible into the possible, and you're going to be a little prick about it. Well, fine.
...So you're going to listen after all? All right, man, way to make the smart decision! Look, I'll keep this nice and short so you don't get a headache from the strain. All right, so you know Mitchell, right? That weird skinny guy who's always reading those really dense physics books about time and matter and the universe and whatever? Well, he got to talking about quantum mechanics and-
...No, I don't get it either. Mitchell says that nobody really does, except in broad strokes, but the short version is that matter gets really weird when it gets really small. We like to think that everything has a nice neat little cause and we can predict it all, but molecules don't act that way. With molecules, it's all about odds. Genuine chaos, that's how he put it - they don't follow any rules, not even their own.
Now, Mitchell got to talking about this thing molecules do where they don't really occupy a certain place, they just have a chance to be anywhere in a given area. Pretty trippy, but that's not the really crazy part. He says that a molecule can sometimes move right through another molecule and end up on the other side. You know what that means? It means that in theory, you could lay your hands on a wall and all the molecules in you - all the little specks that make up your brain and heart and skin and whatever - can end up on the other side of the wall.
...No, I'm not talking about punching through the wall. Take this a little serious, huh? Anyway, Mitchell says we'll never see this because the odds are so long, but those odds aren't zero, so it's possible. That's when he shows us what he can do. He says that the odds don't mean much because the universe is so unbelievably big and time is so unthinkably long that everything that can happen has to happen. How'd he put it again..."If the odds aren't 0, they eventually become 1." That's it. That's how we make order out of chaos, man. And then he tells us that he thinks he knows how to create that order, and turn the odds into a 1. You know how?
...Yes, he walks through the wall. Would I be telling this story if he didn't? He walked right through that wall, and I swear I saw the whole thing and it was not a trick. There were like six of us there, and two people took video - you wanna see it, or are you just gonna deny it again? That's the problem with you, you can't open your mind to possibilities.
Anyway, he explained the secret of walking through walls, and it's not that hard to understand. First, you have to know that what you're doing is a long shot, but not impossible. That's the other thing that makes this different from a miracle - a miracle is when you do something impossible, but what Mitchell can do is just really, really unlikely. Second, once you know the odds, you have to understand deep down that what you're about to do is possible. Third, everyone observing you has to know that too. That's the trick right there - everyone has to have some faith in you, not just people watching or listening but anyone who can even conceivably sense your presence. Finally, you just do it, and then it's done. You've just found a loophole in the laws of physics. Pretty neat, huh?
...Oh, so you're gonna be a thickhead and just groan? Real mature. Hey, I'm sitting here telling you how to make all your dreams come true, and that it's for real, that I saw the whole thing with my own eyes, and you're just going to roll your eyes. Well fine, don't believe me. Just go on thinking that the world is what you think it is.
Don't get up, I'll show myself out. But maybe you can give me just a few seconds to answer one itty bitty question. You'll give me that after I came all this way to speak with you, right? Yeah? Cool.
Okay, so you've been in your apartment all day, just sitting here, yeah? You keep the place locked up, right? Right. Now, did you ever give me a key to your door?
...No? All right. Now, quick follow-up question: Do you remember opening your door to let me in?
...No? That sure is strange, all right. You'd almost think that I had another way in. Course, that's impossible...or maybe just really, really unlikely.