The Tlon Disease
Very often, when I cross the threshold of a door (at home, in a public building, in a store, etc.), I find myself in another city, or village, or even an uninhabited land. Despite the fact the situation made me at first feel quite surprised and in awe, I would probably say it has become rather unpleasant.
Imagine that you are about to cross the threshold of your home to carelessly go out for an evening walk, when you suddenly and inexplicably find yourself into a mud pond, on the top of a mountain, or in the middle of a sunflower field. There are even worse scenarios: you might open your room door to the hallway and the next second you may realise you are in the bathroom of a stranger’s house, or the cesspit of a building, or on the edge of a cliff. Astonished people I have never met look at me in terror with big, bulging eyes. They are asking for an explanation: how did I get there, what do I want, am I perhaps a burglar? But I don’t know what to say, I just feel embarrassed and sorry about it. So, I get out trying to orientate myself and looking for a way to quickly return back home.
No matter, though, how easy and sudden is the first teletransportation, it becomes harder to return home because it is not me who determines the location. I have no will over it, nor do I control it the least. Instead, it controls me. Otherwise, since I love travelling anyway, I would destine all the spent money to tickets. An unknown power is messing with me while I am entangled within its tentacles.
After the first times I experienced the “journey” or the transportation, as I call it, I visited a doctor. Given that I am an innate pragmatist who firmly believes in reason, I thought I had lost my mind. Hence, I referred to the specialist to whom I described in detail my experience - free of inhibition or hesitation - while I secretly enjoyed his expected burst of astonishment.
However, the doctor listened to me calmly and carefully and when I finished he said: “The symptoms you are describing correspond to a very rare condition, none other than the renowned Tlon disease whose consequences vary among patients (or should I better say among personalities?). Some fall asleep and at their waking they find themselves in a faraway place, whilst others tele-transport at the contact with water. Last but not least, there are people to which the disease triggers when they kiss a beloved one. Of course, your case represents one of the most frequent scenarios. Unfortunately, science has not been able to find yet a cure for this condition. So, you have to learn to live with the fact that at any given moment you might open a door and be transported elsewhere”.
That is how I am striving to get used to this while experiencing my very own Calvary. My only defense against this unreal condition is to stop moving, constantly stay put in one place, avoid going through doors, and stay still. This is why I have a bathroom, a toilet, a kitchen, and a bedroom all in one room. When I am forced – in fright – to leave my home, I am equipped with tools and objects that could turn useful in a possible instant “journey”. So, I take with me a torch, dry food, water, a whistle (one time I ended up under the ruins of a house that had collapsed by an earthquake), a pocket knife, warm clothes (I might find myself on a snowy mountain top), a life vest (yes, I have been to the bottom of the sea), and enough money for the return ticket.
In other words, I do not venture outside my house. Neighbours and friends think that I simply suffer from agoraphobia and depression, and that I made up this story to justify my condition. If only they knew depression does not allow you to create stories…