Ellie throws some twigs into the fire. The giant flames licking as far up as the sky. There is a glow over Ellie's face as she stares at the tall flames, licking up high and burning the Guy.
There's always something evil about this occasion but she doesn't know what. It's something to do with the spirit of burning this man. Sure, he's a puppet, but even he doesn't deserve that. Why do we even celebrate this? Poor puppet.
A cold wind blows over as Ellie pulls her jacket closer and shivers. She stares at the burning effigy. There's a movement. Ellie turns around momentarily distracted by the children laughing behind her. She turns back around and there it is again. A movement. Over the sound of the strong-blowing wind, Ellie thinks she hears a murmur. Or is it mumbling? And it's coming from the effigy.
"STOP THE FIRE!!" Ellie screams. "There's something in there!"
"Huh?" A couple of guys burning the fire turn around. "I said stop the fire!" At that moment one of the boys who's part of a group swears and suddenly takes off running.
"Sh*t!" says Ellie. "I'll deal with him later." In the meantime she runs for the nearest fire-extinguisher, which isn't far from the back of the building where the toilets are. As soon as Ellie gets back to the Guy, she releases the clasp and lets out the air. There are two or three people in the crowd who begin helping.
Once they get the flames out, Ellie runs toward the puppet. She could hear the sound of choking coming from it. There's someone inside.
Ellie moves forward trying to figure out how to open him. There's a crowd behind her. Eventually, Ellie figures out that his head comes off first. Ellie takes off the costume and there's the choking man inside. His face blackened from the soot of the fire. He's sweating, beads falling from across his face.
"Get back everybody," Ellie commands. "Are you okay?" She says addressing the guy in the costume. He coughs and splutters. She carefully gets him out of the costume.
"Yeah, thanks to you," he coughs. Ellie waits for him to let it out. She checks his chest to make sure he's breathing okay. Thankfully, he seems to be recovering.
Ellie didn't notice before but now she sees the man is an old guy and has something wise about his dull, blue eyes. "Who are you?" asks Ellie. The guy coughs out a gust of air. He raises his blue eyes toward Ellie.
"I'm Lord Medley," he says, "Pleasure to meet you."
"Hold on," Ellie says. "You're a Lord?"
"Pleasure to meet you," he says. Ellie takes in a deep breath then releases. "So what's going on here, Mr Medley?" she says. Lord Medley har-humphs.
"Those... insolent little fools," he says pointing a finger toward some direction, "have tried to burn me to the stake," he says, his eyes soften. "But you, my love... Well, you saved me."
"They tried to burn you. But why?" asks Ellie.
"Why?" says Lord Medley. "Don't you know? They tried to kill me so they could make... what's his name... Kanye West... President."
"Kanye West?" asks Ellie, "But.. how?"
"They know I hold the ranks in Parliament," he says, "Don't you see? This is no different to what happened when... Guy Fawkes.." he begins to cough.
"Guy Fawkes? When he tried to blow up Parliament?" "... When tried to take over," Lord Medley manages.
"They want to make Kanye West President?" Asks Ellie. "And you hold the reins on that?" Ellie stares at him blankly for a moment. Then, in a passing second, the first signs of laughter begin to erupt in her throat
"Of course," Lord Medley says," .. for they know my rank." "They want to make Kanye West President?" she repeats. This time she doesn't hold back and falls over the floor laughing.
"And almost killed me at that!" "Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha!"
"Madam! Calm down! Please!!"
"Oh, this is the funniest thing I've ever heard," says Ellie. "But, come on, let's clean you up." She lifts him up and guides him out through the crowd. "Where do you want to go?" Ellie asks after a while. "To Parliament, if you please." "Okay, sure," says Ellie. "We can go with my car. Um... I've got it parked there up the road." Ellie and Lord Medley walk slowly toward the car. "Ow, my ribs," says Lord Medley. "Careful," says Ellie. There's still soot on his face and his clothes seem pasted to his body but at least he's OK.
"So what exactly did they say they were gonna do?" asks Ellie.
"Well.. you see.. we Lords... pass bills so... what they wanted was me... to draft that Bill here in England that would open the door to making Kanye West the President of America."
"Can you do that? That's genius," Ellie says.
"Madam, where there's a will there's a way." After a pause: "I flat out refused, of course."
"Of course," replies Ellie.
"Now I can see exactly why you think this is amusing, young lady."
"No, not at all," she replies. "You're just like... a modern day Guy Fawkes, that's all."
"Oh, spare me the irony," he replies.
"Well.. okay.." says Ellie, "Um.. Lord Medley.. why don't you take a rest for a while and we'll deal with the situation better tomorrow morning, huh?"
"You don't believe me?" he says.
"Oh, of course I believe you," says Ellie. "But you just need to take a rest. You've been through a lot for one night."
"A rest? A rest? While those pesky fools are out there trying to take over."
"Just for the night," Ellie intercedes. "You need it. I mean.. we both need it." Lord Medley stares at Ellie briefly, before giving in, "Okay, I suppose that would be the most sensible thing to do." Ellie parks the car over the back of the Houses of Parliament. "That's right, it would be." He hastily gets out of the car and shuts the door. "Good night, Mr Medley," she whispers.
On the drive back home, Ellie takes a right-turn heading back to the ground where the fire was. Ellie shivers, wishing for something warmer. Across the playground, Ellie makes out the blurred shape of a couple of boys huddled together. Isn't that them? The boys who broke away? She can't quite make it out. Who else would be hanging around here at the dawn of night? She approaches.
"Do you get paid to look this conspicuous?" she calls out. The boys turn round. Ellie gets closer. Yes, that's them. "A little birdie tells me you were planning to takeover Parliament today? On bonfire night? How original."
"We're not doin' nothin'," a guy says, "Just mindin' our own business." He takes a puff of his joint and passes it through the group.
"It's none of your business!"
"Nobody ain't tryin' to take over nothin' " someone says.
Ellie notices a small radio drumming rap music in the back. A guy comes out of the shadows. "Hey, aren't you the chick who rumbled us today? You know she was fly," he looks her up and down. "hmm... So are you," he murmurs. Ellie blinks. This is unbelievable.
"A Lord was nearly burnt to a crisp today and you're hitting on me? "
The guy takes a drag of his joint. He fiddles with the knobs on the radio. The rapping gets louder.
"Do you like music like this?" he says.
"What's that got to do with anything?"
"No do you?" he asks. "Of course she don't," someone else says, "She's too prim and prissy for it!" "Shut your mouth!" shouts another.
"Am I missing something here?" Ellie says. "Yes you are," says the boy. "You see, we like this music." "So?" she says. "So? Do you think they want us listening to this sh*t? You think they represent us? Respect us? Hell, no, we're the underdogs." Ellie takes a step back.
"You know what we want? We want a government who lets us listen to this sh*t. We don't want trouble, we want our sound."
"So?"
"So?" the guy says, "We want recognition from World Leaders. Guns, knives, drugs," he gives Ellie a sleazy look, "Sex.. alcohol.. all of it." Ellie lets it sink in. "Well you're deluded."
"No, we're not b*tch!" he says. "We're gonna make Kanye President." Ellie laughs. "Jeez, I thought you guys were out of your minds but this is taking it to new levels." "Miss, he can't do nothin' about it. Don't take him seriously."
"Well.. You tried to kill a man today." Ellie pauses. "If that's not enough to report you I don't know what is." "Aw, miss, really, we mean no harm. We just want to be understood."
"OK, look," Ellie strokes her chin. "You give up your little conspiracy plan and I'll let you guys go, OK?" "We never thought nothin' would come by it," the boy says, "We just don't want to be the underdogs, that's all. We want to be represented." Ellie gives the mob one last long look. "Alright you pack it all in and I'll pretend it didn't happen. Is that fair?" "Yes, ma'am, very fair." The boy balls his hand and reaches toward Ellie, "Touch?" he says. Ellie stares at the fist and touches.
"Now git!" she cries. The boys quickly break away.
Ellie calls into Lord Medley's office the next afternoon. "Hello? Lord Medley?" There's some static on the phone. "Who's this?" he says. "It's Ellie. The girl who saved your life yesterday?"
"Oh! Ellie, yes," he says. "How are you Ellie?"
"Well, I'm calling to check up on you." She pauses and inhales. "What I want you to know is... those boys?.... they won't be bothering you no more."
"Blasted! Those pesky little brats! Well I've gone and done it now."
"Er.. You've gone and done what?" says Ellie.
"I've drafted the Bill," says Lord Medley. "Those pesky brats won't lay a finger on me ever again."
"You've gone and done it?" says Ellie. Oh God.
"Yes.. and if everything goes to plan it should be passed with the Queen's approval tomorrow."
"What! When?" Ellie asks. "I mean when will he be President?" She hears papers rustle in the background.
"Well.. I should imagine.. sometime within the next two seasons. Er... he'll stand as Presidential Candidate, of course. Then.. well it's only a matter of time after.. he wins on the basis of a popular vote. He has fans, you know.." Lord Medley notices things are rather distant on the other end. He swaps the phone onto his other hand.
"Er.. Ellie, are you there?" But Ellie's already passed out and lays sprawled across the floor. The phone a few inches away from her fingers.
"Er.. Ellie.. Hello... Ellie?... Are you there? ... Ellie? Are you there?.. Ellie..."