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Dark Feelings

March 2012

12 Charis Gantzoudis ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Despina’s testimony

“I won’t let you marry him, I’d rather kil you than lose you’ .

Yes, I saw the note. Anna had thrown it on the couch. When I

entered the house she looked distraught. Shaking like a leaf.

She told me that Stelios had come to see her the night before.

He was waiting for her outside the house and begged her to

take him back.

I can’t believe he kil ed her. I never thought he could get to

that point. I was telling her on a daily basis to end their

relationship and move on with Dimitris. Not that he was

perfect, but at least their relationship was normal. Anna was a

good person. She didn’t want to harm Stelios. She pitied him

because of the rough years he’d been through.

Yes. He was a troubled child. His father died when he was two

years old. One year later, his mother married our father, who

never loved him like his own child. He treated him violently. I

remember one time when he broke our neighbour’s window

with a bal . He hit him so hard that his nose started bleeding.

Our mother couldn’t do much. She was of weak nature. But as

troubled as he might have been, the sexual attraction he felt

for Anna could not be justified.

One day, when I came home from cram school, I saw Stelios

peeking on Anna bathing. I caught him by surprise. He lost his

temper and left without saying a word. He was a quiet child.

Didn’t express himself. Didn’t have any friends. He had left

school at age of 14 and got daily wages from any job he could

find. But even I didn’t think it was that big of a deal. We were

children, how should I know?

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A few months later, Anna confessed to me in tears, that Stelios

had raped her. I couldn’t believe it. He was telling her that he

loved her. At first I thought she’d gone mad. If our father ever

found out anything about this, I’m sure he would have kil ed

him. He had a weak spot for Anna. She was at a loss. She loved

Stelios and didn’t want to harm him.

This “relationship” went on for the next two years. Anna

turned 18. That’s when she met Dimitris. He was crazy in love

with her, but also excessively jealous. Once, he hit her in the

middle of the road, because he thought she was looking at

someone else. In one of our conversations, Anna, told me that

he had become violent many times. If our brother Stelios

hadn’t been found dead next to her, I’d think he kil ed her.

Stelios didn’t like that relationship. I remember, one time, I

told him to let her live her life. He responded that he wouldn’t

let anybody take her from him. Neither me, nor my sister ever

talked to anyone about Stelios’ passion. Those things remain

unsaid in closed societies.

I am a year younger than Anna. I always looked up to her. She

was the prettiest girl in school and the best student. We were

very different, but loved each other very much. Anna, as I said

before, was our dad’s weak spot. He loved me too, of course,

but Anna always stood out for him. I was mum’s favourite. If

she was stil alive, she’d tell you. She died last year, at

Christmas, from cancer. I’m sure dad wil pass away soon, too.

He won’t be able to handle Anna’s death.

I cannot believe it. Just imagine, a few days ago we went

shopping to find a wedding dress for her. I don’t know how to

keep on living without her. I’m sad for Stelios too, but it is al

his fault. I can’t talk anymore. If you don’t need me for

anything else, I’d like to go home.

14 Charis Gantzoudis ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Dimitris’ testimony

Anna cal ed me on Friday at the office. It was about 12 o’clock

noon. She sounded troubled. She told me about the note. She

had found it when entering the house. I never took it seriously.

‘A joke probably’ I thought to myself. To calm her down I

suggested that she should cal Despina, to have someone

around until I got home. It wouldn’t be long. Banks close early

on Fridays.

She’s never told me anything about her brother. She must ‘ve

been embarrassed. I found out everything later, from Despina.

That bastard. How could he do something like that? He seemed

to be a nice guy. A little distant though. When I visited them to

ask for Anna’s hand in marriage, he didn’t sit with us. He drank

a quick drink and left without a word.

I met Anna one year ago. It was love at first sight. Her big

brown eyes sent out a catching warmth. First I had met

Despina. We had a mutual friend. We were sitting at a table in

our vil age’s local coffee shop. After a while, she showed up.

Almost two weeks passed until she agreed to go on a date with

me.

Yes, I was jealous. Who wouldn’t be with such a beautiful

creature? But I knew she loved me. And she knew I loved her,

too. I lost my temper once and slapped her. I know Despina has

already told you. She was jealous of my relationship with

Anna. She never said anything, but I could tell from her looks.

Once, when we were alone, she confessed her love to me, but

said that she didn’t say anything for her sister’s sake. They

were loving sisters. I never, not even once, saw them fight.

After al , who could fight with Anna? Once I told her what I

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thought about her sister and that I thought she was jealous.

She didn’t talk to me for three days. I went nuts. I thought I’d

lost her.

Al of this time, Stelios never came to visit us. Anna always had

excuses ready for him. I don’t know what else to tel you. It

doesn’t matter now anyway. That was it. I wil never see her

again. Oh my God. I’m sorry.