From the title, you might think this is a story about an interview. But it isn’t. On the other hand, you might think it’s about how to prepare for an interview. But it’s not that either. There are dozens of possibilities I can think of, but none of them are true. So I’ll just get on with the story and see if you can work it out.

I’d never been interviewed before, so I looked up ‘interview’ on Wikipedia. It says:

An interview is a conversation where questions are asked and answers are given. The interviewer asks questions, the interviewee responds, with participants taking turns talking. Interviews usually involve a transfer of information from interviewee to interviewer.

So, an interview is an interrogation, or a one-person conversation. I wasn’t interested in being grilled, Gestapo style, or having another conversation with myself; I did that all the time. Nor was I interested in listening to someone else having a conversation with himself.

When I looked up the dictionary definition of conversation, it said:

The informal exchange of ideas by spoken words.

That made a lot more sense, but raised the question of how interview and conversation could appear in the same sentence, as they did not seem compatible. I know it is a jaundiced view, but nevertheless, it encapsulates the feelings of a precocious sixteen-year-old, which is what I was at the time. I should add that I could be belligerent under pressure, even at that tender age. By now you may think I’m arrogant as well, which I am not. I’d better move on because I don’t want you to dwell on my flaws, as the story is not about me, although it’s getting to sound as if it is.

I like good healthy, no holds barred debate, don’t you? The kind of debate where no-one takes things personally; a frank exchange of views, opposing or otherwise. And I couldn’t see how anyone could find out about me, if they never gave me a chance to find out about them. I didn’t have a clue about protocol and was set on disrupting my first interview, if I didn’t feel comfortable. If the interviewer saw us on different levels before we even started, and he only asked questions and I only gave answers, it wouldn’t go well for me, so how could it go well for him.

I told him, right away, how I thought we should conduct the meeting, and asked him point-blank if he was married, before he had a chance to speak. I didn’t tell him he was handsome because he may have thought I had a crush on him. Anyway, I always like to hold on to surprises, until I get to know someone a little better. So, that could come later. I must admit I am surprised at how bold, even brazen, I was ten years ago, and I could never see myself acting like that now. I remember how shocked he was and how embarrassed he looked, as those cherub-like cheeks turned crimson. There was no desk between us, which removed a barrier, but maybe my skirt was a bit short for a job interview. I crossed my legs anyway; it would be a test of how professional he was. I read somewhere that it was the best way to get a man’s attention. Now I’m much older, I know there are more subtle ways. But it worked, although he couldn’t take his eyes off my legs, anyway.

I had no idea how old he was, and I didn’t care. But I guessed he was about the same age as I am now; twenty-six. You are probably wondering what the answer to my first question was. No, he wasn’t married. When he regained his composure, he wanted to know why I asked him, as it was not relevant to the job he was interviewing me for. He was perplexed when I assured him it was relevant, so I explained why. By then, I was so wrapped up in the conversation, I forgot what the job I had applied for was. I had drawn him into a conversation where I was asking more questions than he was. We discussed, argued and debated, sometimes agreeing and sometimes not, and never unpleasantly.

We laughed when he said it wasn’t the way he’d been trained to interview, but that he had learned more about me than anyone he’d ever interviewed for a position at the firm. He laughed even louder than I did, when I told him he should sack the person who trained him. Mike was gobsmacked when I told him it was the first time I had been interviewed.

According to the interview manual, Mike had to memorise for his job, I had done nothing right. But then neither had he, I reminded him, years later as we lay in bed unable to sleep, laughing about that day.

So, are you surprised I got the job? I was.

We have been married for two years, Mike is now the CEO of the company and I head up the Human Resources Department. You may be interested to know that I am responsible for interviewing job applicants.