Chapter 23 A Year To Forget
Missy knew very little about her mother. In fact she could only remember two pictures of her and both were her mother as a young child. She did not have a picture of her mother like most other girls. Emma had spoken of her to Missy only when Missy insisted as a young girl. As Missy grew and saw the hurt on the face of Emma, she ceased to inquire except when necessary.
1952 was the year that changed Emma forever. Emma remembered Phillip joining the army again so that he could serve in Korea. The military had changed a little as the army was now supposedly integrated by President Truman. Negro troops were now allowed to serve in fighting units; however, most units continued to be segregated and remained segregated until near the end of the Korean War.
Emma had a tear in her eye as she remembered that fateful day when she received the news that Phillip would not be coming home. She remembered just as if it was yesterday. The telegram coming and she wanting so badly not to open it but knowing that she must. She remembered reading each letter of each word hoping that she would never see the awful news but knowing that she would as she had seen others get the same telegram. The hurt had never left her. The pain in her heart and throughout her body as she realized that Phillip would never return to her. She would never again see the smile and the swagger.
Emma remembered just as it was yesterday when she set on the front pew of the Church and could only stare at the casket with the red, white and blue flag draping the casket. She watched as members of the Church came past to view the body of her Phillip and to offer her those hollow words “ it will be ok” . Emma knew it would never again be ok. She then watched the Free Masons as they did their ritual and again offered her condolences.
Emma’s mind then went to the ride to the cemetery where she then walked up the hill to the place where Phillip’s body would be buried. She remembered hearing the Pastor say a prayer and some other words which she did not recall. She then remembered the first shots fired as her body jerked hearing the sound of the guns firing. This was followed by the solemn sound of the bugle playing taps. Then there was just complete silence until someone went to the casket and removed the flag. They then folded the flag carefully and then came to her and handed her the flag and saluted. They said some words and she nodded but could not say any words. She was afraid that if she opened her mouth, that she would just cry and cry and cry.
After the burial, she then returned home where some of her friends had gathered. They had cooked plenty of food for her even though she lived alone. Even with all of the people in the house, she felt so lonely like she was the only person in the world. All she knew was that the only two people in the world that meant anything to her were gone. Phillip was dead and she did not know where her daughter was as she had not seen nor talked with her since she left home angrily that night in 1950.
Missy could only wonder what her grandmother was thinking as she could only see the tears in her eyes as she lay motionless in the hospital bed. At that moment she thought that there had been only a few times when she had actually seen her grandmother smile.
Missy began to think about all that her grandmother had said. Missy knew a little more but still there were a lot of unanswered questions. Missy has always wanted to know about her mother but knew that her grandmother did not really want to discuss it. Missy slightly remembered her mother but then again she had always lived with her grandmother and never with her mother.