Chapter 38 Remembering To Forget
As Emma lay in the hospital bed, she struggled to remember what she had for dinner last evening. She could remember very little now. Her best memories were those of 30-40 years ago and of course she still could remember Phillip and his smile.
It was almost 2 year ago that Missy began to have real concern for Emma. Missy would call Emma at least once per week and they would talk for an hour as Missy talked about her job and things happening in the news. Emma had retired as she could no longer work in the laundry. The laundry now had new equipment and did not need many individual clothes pressers. Emma had a position as the front counter clerk in her last months there at the laundry but her age made it impossible for her to continue.
Missy noted that Emma had begun to forget names of some people as they talked. Emma began to repeat her sentences and she also would ask the same questions. It became more and more difficult to hold long telephone conversations as Emma would not remember last week’s news or sometimes she did not remember the evening news. While Missy was somewhat concerned she did not make much of it as she knew that Emma was getting older. Missy traveled home for Thanksgiving as she had since she had taken the job in New York. She had tried to get Emma to come back to New York but Emma refused. Emma said she had flown once and would not ever fly again and New York was too far for her to travel by bus at her age.
As usual Emma would cook the turkey, candied yams and collard greens with cornbread. She refused to let Missy in the kitchen. While Missy was an excellent lawyer and very smart in school, she was quite the opposite in the kitchen. She had never learned how to cook even the simplest meal. Emma would say that Missy could burn water. While Missy had been in the living room reading the newspaper and reviewing some case notes, Emma asked her to go to the store and buy some sweet potatoes because she had forgotten to buy them. Missy went to the store and returned home and bought the yams to the kitchen where she saw Emma cleaning sweet potatoes. Emma had forgotten that she had put the sweet potatoes in the refrigerator like she always did when cooking the yams. During dinner, Emma again showed some signs of forgetfulness which worried Missy. She would ask Missy if she wanted more to eat and then one minute later would ask the same question. Missy then decided to find someone to stay with Emma. Emma did not like the idea of someone else staying in the house with her as she was perfectly satisfied in staying by herself. Missy agreed to not force the issue at that time but they would discuss it again when she came home on vacation.
Missy then traveled back to New York and planned to go home again for Christmas and New Years. She usually did not do that as she enjoyed staying in New York during the Christmas and New Year’s holiday but this time she changed her plans so that she could return and check in on Emma. Missy decided to surprise Emma so she did not tell her that she was coming home for the Christmas holidays. However it was Missy that was surprised. She found that Emma had continued to be more and more forgetful. When she arrived at the front door of the house, Emma had not locked the door and the front door was wide opened. This was not so unusual during the day but was quite different at night. While Emma felt safe in Riverside, She always locked the doors at night as a habit since living in Washington DC. She would usually check the doors at least twice before retiring for the evening. Upon entering the house, Missy found Emma sleeping in the front room in front of the television. Again this had been unusual as Emma had always refused to watch the television late at night. Most of the time she just had the television on for noise in the house. Missy gently called and shook Emma to awaken her and Emma opened up her eyes and spoke as if she did not know or recognize Missy. This had lasted for about 5 minutes before Emma became her old self as if nothing was wrong. Missy decided to take Emma to the doctor before she left to go back to New York. The doctor informed Missy that while Emma was relatively physically healthy for her age; however, he was concerned about her mental capacity and wanted to do some more testing. After more testing, the doctor decided that Emma would continue to lose more and more memory until which time, she would not remember much if anything at all.
Missy did not share the information from the doctor with Emma; however, she did discuss with Emma the need to have someone live with her. After much discussion, Emma had finally agreed to have someone live with her while Missy was in New York. Missy found one of the young people in the Church who was attending the local community college to live with Emma. As Missy flew back to New York, she was unable to hold back the tears as she knew that she soon would lose her grandmother.
Several months later, Missy received a call from the young student who was living with Emma telling her that Emma was getting more and more forgetful and caring for her was getting more and more difficult. Missy flew home immediately that weekend to see the doctor. The doctor told her that Emma would only get progressively worse and that the only alternative was to place her in a nursing home. Missy at that very moment decided that she would never allow Emma to be admitted into a nursing home. Missy decided that she would request a leave of absence from her job and stay in Riverside to take care of Emma.
Regrettably the doctor was correct and Emma seemed to decline in health very quickly. She stopped eating, refused to take her medication and most times did not know anyone including Missy.