THE SCAM. Copyright P. Audcent 2014
I wrote this after I read an email warning of current scams on the internet.
The previous day had been pure luxury, warm with a cooling breeze, a swim before lunch and an afternoon nap to settle my stomach down. Then a longer swim in the channel like pool finished with a long back stroke then a shower and finally I dressed for dinner, and it was suburb. As I undressed and leapt into bed I thought this hotel was the best on this earth, the staff were efficient and friendly and everyone I met said the same. We will come again next year I heard a couple on the next table tell the waiter. He just smiled and nodded and filled their glasses with more white wine. Chardonnay I believe. I never saw them again, the couple I mean, presumably they had left before I got up the next day. But this time it was definitely heating up so I turned on the air conditioner. It didn't work, so quickly I slid on my swimmers and headed for the pool. Some others were standing on the edge looking down and stopped me from jumping in. The pool was as dry as a bone except for as small puddle right at the deep end. I look at one of the guests but he shook his head.
“No Air-Con?”
“No Air-con, so I came out here for a swim, to cool down. Do the staff know?”
“Can't find anyone to tell, “ he said “ been out here for ten minutes then went inside, Marge my wife went down to the kitchens to see if she could see anyone, but not a soul.”
Just then we were joined by another group who seemed quite lost and a little angry.
“Seen anyone around” yelled their obvious leader with an enormous stomach and a mouth to boot. Bossy I thought to myself. I took a second look and I felt I had seen him before.
“I've found the pool drain unlocked that's obviously where the water went, did you try your taps in your basins?” He looked at us all and I shook my head.
“Go inside and check your bathroom I don't think you will find they work.” I beetled over to my room, unlocked the French doors and trooped into the bathroom. He was right nothing except a faint gurgling noise in the hidden pipes behind the wall.
I switched on the TV. It did not work, nor did the electric lamp. There was no electricity. I went back outside and told my fellow guests. They looked dumbfounded.
“Its a new scam I believe.” said a small bespectacled man striding before us.
“I beg your pardon!” We all said at once.
“I presume you all saw this special advertisement for a week on this idealistic island at a forty percent discount.” Most of us nodded.
“And although you don't know this, only certain people who applied to stay were in fact chosen to stay, I would say looking at you all and the quality of current wear you would be fairly wealthy!”
We all looked at one another closely and I thought I recognised two or three by pictures in the newspapers.
“Well naturally those of you who filled and kept a bottle of water in your fridge to mix with your drinks will quite possible survive these two days until the end of you holiday. If you did not I can tell you the weather is predicted to get hotter with no rain forecast.” The bespectacled man dressed in a light tan suit turned on his heel and turned towards the hotel reception, he turned again before opening the door.” You are welcome to bring your credit cards or cheque books to Reception where a payment will be requested to reinstall those privileges you have been enjoying. If you had checked with the advertisement you would have found a small note at the bottom advising that the hotel was closed this week for maintenance. Oh yes the printing was very small, Oh and by the way we are the maintenance personnel! The owners had left this property to us alone for this week only. So if you don't want to die of thirst or heat stroke you would be wise to follow me.“
The large leader man came forward.
“ Well my friend what if some of us pay and others don't how do propose to cut the hotel in half to facilitate both sides?”
“Well we won't, you must all co-operate or be prepared to stay as you are.”
“But I believe there are more of us than there are of you”.
“Well there is certainly a lot of you, and you will cook extremely fast in the heat.”
It was then that my mind had been working on who this huge chap was. Then I got it and looked at the closed door and then at him.
“ I believe Sir, this may have been in your line?” I saw him stare at me directly and then motioned his people back to their rooms, for what purpose I knew not.
“So you recognised me, so do you think Glasses did?”
I shook my head then added, “ But I expect for us all to pay up, last nights feast was worthy of twice what we paid.”
“That's true my friend but I really don't hold with holiday stealing and then forcing people to pay a second instalment for something they had already paid for.”
“Well we paid the owners of the hotel, not these thieving maintenance people.”
“No,” he stroked his chin thoughtfully “I don't believe I was paid, I booked under a false name, one I chose from a wealthy family.”
“You suspected?”
“No, I always do when I travel it makes things so much easier.”
As I nodded my understanding I heard the noise of a large jet plane coming into land. Then the man's group came out of their rooms and they were dressed in dark blue suits. I suspected a lump hidden somewhere under the coats.
“You will all collect belongings and pack them and my people from the jet will bring water bottles and help you to board. I am sorry your holiday has been spoilt by these ruffians but you will be welcome to re book next week, but without a discount.” He turned and climbed the steps to the reception.
I had seen this man's face on TV when he and associates had been moved out of Las Vegas some years before. When we boarded the jet I think we were all releaved to get out. What surprised was me how quickly the water and electricity had come on when I was packing my suitcase so I had a chance to have a quick shower, and I supposed the water noise helped dull the noise of shots being fired.
The large man came onto the jet to wish us a pleasant flight, he turned to me before he left.
“You were right about that evening meal, I'm keeping him on as head chef.”
Xxx
SWANS. A true story (for once!). Copyright Paul Audcent 2014
I stayed with my sister in a small village called Downton, south of Salisbury. It was soon after the Millennium and one day she told me about a new park that had been recently opened to celebrate the year 2000. So I walked there as it was just along the road and I found a number of seats regularly placed to rest on and one just by a concrete sundial set in the ground with a fisherman's seat close by the river.
I noticed two swans across the river Avon dipping their heads in the swift flowing river obviously combing the water weed for insects. I sat awhile and then continued my walk in an anti clock direction until I came to a spot with a view of the lower river, and here concentrated, where a flock of young swans some loosing their grey plumage and a few others with a full set of the bright white plumage. I stood awhile and saw the large male swan who had been up river gently float by. A couple of the younger swans had started to approach me and his appearance made them move back. He then approached me a few metres away but I held out my hands and said I don't have bread. He looked me over, I had heard swans could be dangerous, so I moved away and carried on with my walk.
A few days later I told my sister about the swans down in the park and she said 'Take some brown bread and see if they would feed', so with two slices in my pocket I walked down again and eventually sat on the fisherman's seat quietly. Well both the swans came across to me eventually and I threw from my seat several pieces of the bread. Then the female came ashore and sat down a metre from my bench so I gave her some bread on the ground in front of her, then gave the large male, still on the river bank, the rest. And so we all sat together, the female and I whilst the male went out to mid river and continued fishing in the flowing weeds. I was in no hurry to move so I sat there listening to the babble of the river whilst the lady swan tucked her head under her wing. We stayed like that for an hour, then I said to my companion, 'I'm going home now so goodbye'. Well she awoke and padded off to her mate and I left to carry on my walk. Well I did stop briefly at the lower spot to look at the young swans but who should come by but the big male. I worked out that he did not want me to encourage the youngsters to come closer, so I pulled out my pockets and showed him I had nothing to give them. So he turned from me and paddled back up the river.
Every so often I would return with brown crusts in my pocket and always I would sit on the same bench and both the swans the female in the lead would come across the river from their island home and sit with me whilst I fed them. But one day an elderly man came walking with his spaniel along the path that led to my bench seat. I called to him to be aware of the swans and the put his spaniel on the lease. Well he did not but kept on coming straight and shouting ' this be our path not for the likes of swans.' 'They will have a go at you, keep the dog away please,' said I. Then the spaniel spotting the sitting swans and went for the female sitting next to me, well that was its first mistake as the male swan gave sharp hiss and drove the spaniel away. I called the man 'just move away now they can break a man's leg.' He stood for a few seconds until madame sitting next to me rose and joined the male blocking the pathway. The man turned and retraced his steps and called his dog which had run back to the park gate.
The swans then returned to their original places and both looking me in the eye, I laughed and dug into my pocket and fed them the last of the crusts. Shortly another person came along the path, it was a lady with a sketch book under her arms.
“What did you say to that old man with the dog?’
“Why”
“He was muttering about some foreigner stopping him have a walk in his park.”
“I told him to watch his dog going for the swans, he took no notice so the swans took to the spaniel.”
“Oh well, can I pass your swans without getting chased?”
“Why yes just ask their permission, say can I pass please?”
“That big one looks really evil.”
“Are you going down to sketch the young swans further down?”
“Yes.”
“well I suggest you don't, why don't you sketch these two here instead.”
“Well its your seat and obviously your swans.”
“No I'm leaving now, so have a seat and be as gentle as you can when you open your pad.”
So she did, she tried to sit between me and the female, but moved to the other side of me and Ma, the lady swan relaxed. So I told them both I was leaving and this lady was going to sketch them. I rose and I noticed the male, Pa, returning to the water but Ma stayed quite.
On my anti clockwise walk I sat for awhile under a elderberry tree and then continued onto the gate. The lady artist I saw in the distance was coming back that way with her sketch book open. So I waited for her.
“Well I got her for ten minutes and then she padded back to the water, I went down where the young swans are and I see what you meant, he's very protective about his area.”
“At a guess I would say they are probably due to mate, and across the river is their nesting site.”
“I was amazed to see them so close to you and at ease. Do you live around here?”
“Well I think it was my sisters bread, it must be very special. No I live where I have noisy cockatoos after my apples and pears, good bye.”
My holiday was coming to an end and I was soon collected by my brother to go to Heathrow and home. But I shall always remember those two swans and the peaceful
sunny days we had together in Downton at the rivers edge. Some years later I wrote a novel with them in mind!
xxx