Newamba Flamingo was born on a chicken farm in the Florida Keys and raised by a suicidal cult of transvestite prostitutes who dressed up in gorilla suits and played loud Polka music from distorted speakers at all hours of the night.
After escaping the chicken farm, he was taken hostage by an Elvis impersonator that forced him at gunpoint to write poetry.
He was later able to flee from the Elvis impersonator and now wanders the streets in a purple tutu, spitting out bizarre poems as he pleases.
He likes dragon fruit, Ouija boards, and John Cheever, and is now fighting a Holy War against an armed gang of violent Asian ladyboys.
He knows the aliens who abducted his cat will return.
He wears women's underwear sometimes while jogging and doesn't appreciate what you said about his shirt.
He currently lives in the Far East.
All way too late, I know, but it must be said:
First and foremost, much love to all my family and friends all over the globe!
As for the rantings, ravings, and writing, much respect to Frankie Metro, Pantifesto, Yossarian Hunter, Seb, CC, Si, Gay Bar Matt, Bad Lisa, MANtana, Isaac Seal, Sigerson, Murphy, Hijack, Poetess Maria, Steven Purkey, and Brian Fugget, all of whom were awesome friends, collaborators, and motherfuckers who featured my stuff in their mags and blogs.
Much respect to all the online mags, especially Zygote in my Coffee and Modus Operandi, that published my shit!
Much respect to all the 10K motherfuckers, The Glens, Amy, Nic, Jeff Sibley, Francois, Zodiac, Jim Crafford, Sarah Nella Vanilla, Rachel, and Dan. I know it didn’t end well, but it was fun while it lasted.
Much respect to Antony Hitchen, Connie Stadler, Andy Riverbed, and Mathias Nelson.
Much respect to the Badwriter crew, Pretty Words, Rachel, Donna, those crazy Texas fucks, Capt Walnuts, and Broken English.
Much respect to Everypoet, Bela, for putting it all together, Jewel, Ron and Ron, Zayneb, Linda, Ricklovin, Debs, Whispurr, David Gibbs, and Klonopin.
Much respect to anyone and everyone, even the haters, who read my various blogs and helped pushed my hit count over the 1,000,000 mark! Word is Bon Jovi!
Much respect to anyone and everyone I probably forgot because it was a long time ago and because I did too many drugs.
Much respect to all the people I had sex with, all the people who gave me drugs and alcohol, and to the all the countries that let me into their borders. We’re all just tiny specks of nothingness clinging to a rock twirling around in the infinity, and I’m glad I’ve gotten to enjoy so much of the journey! PEACE!
“Punch you in the Face” published in Ink, Sweat, and Tears, and Zygote in my Coffee
“Getting Naked and Reciting Shakespeare at Work”
“The Suicidal Dell Computer”
“A Trip to the Dentist” published in Zygote in my Coffee
“Shooting Midgets from a Catapult and Watching our Teacher Tap Dance Nude” published in Wordriot, decomP, and Zygote in my Coffee
“The Terrorist’s Meth Lab on Sesame Street” published in Paraphernalia Quarterly “The Massage Parlor in Eilat” and “Mr. Speed’s Safe” published in Kleftjaw
“That Fucking Dog”
“Mitt Romney’s Phone Number” published in Red Fez “Save the Chinese Babies” published in Molotov Cocktail
“I Called a Phone Sex Hotline and Impersonated an Elderly British Woman”
“Tel Aviv”
“Next Year in Jerusalem” published in Unlikely Stories
“Teacher fucks student, fucks hooker” published at HORRORSLEAZETRASH
“Amputee”
“Free Enterprise amongst the Waste Management Industry” published in Ronin Press
*And I know there are more, but it was so long ago and I’ve done too many drugs and can’t remember, but much love to the editors and readers of ALL these fine zines anyway! I promise not to physically attack you if we ever meet!