Jake didn’t know what it was like to have a father. He had questioned his mother Fay on a number of occasions about his father’s identity. The answers were consistently vague and unsatisfying – a one night stand – don’t know who - don’t remember. He had lived with his Mother Fay in a rented house in Brisbane until he left home at age nineteen. Jake realised with increasing clarity that his Mother was the reason for any success that he’d had in his life. Through his health problems as a child and emotional issues as a teen, she hadn’t wavered. His career as an engineer was just beginning and he wanted her to be proud of him. Jake had started his first job and moved in with his partner Jody. His mother’s sudden death was a devastating blow. The funeral was small, mainly friends Fay had made through her work at the library. The only family member at the funeral was Jake’s Uncle Don from Dunedin. Fay had been born and raised in Dunedin and she had moved to Brisbane following Jake’s birth. Don had visited them in Brisbane a few times previously. Fay had never been back. The reason, for anyone asking, was always a curt reply about family disputes. The truth was more specifically that Fay’s parents, devout Presbyterians, had not reacted well when she became a single mother. Her only sibling, older brother Don, was the rare contact from her home in Dunedin. Jake was always excited when Don visited. He brought presents and made a fuss over the young Jake. The wake for Fay at the Normanby Hotel was a less pleasant reason for meeting.
Jake and Don sat at a small table out under the high roofed outdoor area of the pub. A huge ficus tree spread its grey gnarly arms and soft green foliage as a backdrop. The traffic going to and from the city gave an undulating buzz.
“There’s no history of heart problems in the family that I know of. It was a shock when I heard. She was only fifty-nine. I’m two years older you know, I'd better get a checkup.” Don said and raised the glass to his lips.
“Yeah, no one could believe it happened. There were no symptoms.”
“Jake, there is something Fay gave me for you. I need to give it to you before I leave.” Don placed an envelope on the table.
Jake pulled out a photo of the Dunedin Anderson’s Bay Cemetery. He stared at the image of graves and grass and trees. He flipped the photo over and read out loud the handwritten words.
“I’m so sorry, your mother is waiting.” He looked up at Don, puzzled. “What does this mean?”
Don didn’t answer. “Your Grandparents are buried in that graveyard and I think Fay would like you to come to Dunedin and visit them. You can stay with me. My daughters have moved out now and it’s just me and Millie at my place.”
“That would be great, thanks Don. I have wanted to see where Mum lived for a long time.” He had also wanted to visit Dunedin and try to track down the identity of his father. “I will need to organise a few things first.”
“Of course, let me know when you can make it.”
Jake was still at a loss as to what the photo was all about. Perhaps Dunedin would reveal the answer.
The flight to Dunedin was uneventful and took around three and a half hours. Don picked Jake up at the airport. It was a short thirty-minute drive on a single lane highway through rolling green farmlands and a few small villages. Jake could appreciate why Scottish settlers would have selected this area to live. It was late May; the sky was grey and the wind was biting. Don’s house was across the bay from Dunedin city at Ocean Grove high on the headland with stunning views of the Southern Ocean. They arrived as the daylight was fading. Jake settled himself in the spare room of the unpretentious weatherboard house and then joined Don and his wife Millie in the front room for a drink. Millie had accompanied Don only once to Brisbane when Jake was a boy. When Jake saw her he didn’t remember her face. Her high pitch cackling laugh, however, was unforgettable. The front room had wide glass windows to take in the beauty and power of the Southern Ocean.
“You have a great spot here,” Jake said as he swirled the ice around in his scotch and soda.
“Yeah, we love it. We’ve been here since we married,” Millie said.
“Been a bit quiet since the girls have gone. At least I get to watch what I want on TV now,” Don said, and Millie cackled.
“They’re both coming over with their partners for dinner tomorrow night - to meet you at last,” Millie said with a smile.
“I am so pleased that you came over Jake. I just wish Fay had wanted to come back after our Mum and Dad passed away.” Don said.
“I could never get a straight answer out of Mum about the problems with her parents. Maybe you can enlighten me?” Jake asked.
Don leaned forward and put his glass on the table. “Thinking about it now it seems hard to believe,” he paused for a moment. ”Fay and I were brought up with the fear of God. Our parents were strongly religious in the Scottish Presbyterian tradition and they expected us to follow their lead. Fay was nineteen when she met and started a relationship with a Doctor who practised in Dunedin. Doctor Houghton, who wasn’t that much older than Fay and was just starting out. Fay had some medical issues and that’s how they met.”
Jake had a puzzled look on his face. “Mum told me she didn’t know who my father was. Why didn’t she tell me about that?”
“I think it was too painful for her to talk about. It was certainly painful for our parents, your grandparents. They were devastated. Fay had committed a terrible sin and they felt compelled to disown her. I had deserted religion as soon I was old enough to ask questions that no one could answer sensibly and I tried desperately to reason with them. They could not accept the situation. Their actions were guided by a book written by bronze age people from the middle east some two thousand years ago. Fay believed that she had no choice but to leave Dunedin.”
“What about the Doctor?” Jake asked.
“The distress that Fay was going through at the time was compounded by the death of Doctor Houghton.” Don’s eyes were glistening and he was clearly feeling the emotion of the memories flooding through him. “The Doctor, as well as your grandparents, are buried at Anderson’s Bay Cemetery – just a few minutes drive from here. I believe that’s why your Mum gave you that photo. She wanted you to come here and find the truth.” Don took a deep breath. “Tomorrow morning I am taking you to Anderson’s Bay Cemetery.”
Jake was speechless. He nodded in agreement. Millie hadn’t spoken for some time, which was highly unusual.
Jake had a fitful night’s sleep. The anticipation of the cemetery visit was weighing on him. He was up and dressed early and his eagerness to get going was obvious. A quick breakfast and he and Don were in the Toyota sedan cruising along Tomahawk Road. The trip was five minutes at most before they pulled up at the roadside with the cemetery on the left separating them from the Southern Ocean. The day was windy cold and grey, like yesterday, and Jake thought there were most likely many days like this. They walked a few metres along to the open double iron entry gate. A narrow bitumen roadway snaked from the entry down through the myriad of stone monuments and grave sites. Low growing shrubs, green and grey, were dotted among the sites. A few small trees by the roadway, battered by the wind, looked to be struggling to hold their positions. They turned off to the right, Jake behind Don, and followed a path beside a row of headstones. Don was peering at the inscriptions as he walked along. He stopped in front of an upright marble headstone.
“This is it,”
Jake moved closer and squatted down to read the inscription. He read out loud, “In loving memory of Doctor Alice Houghton. Alice? What’s going on? This obviously isn’t my father,” he shouted spinning his head around to look up at Don.
“She is your mother, your biological mother,” Don said
Jake’s mouth hung open and his eyes were bulging. He didn’t know what to say.
“I know this is a shock Jake. I’ll explain as best I can. Your Mother, Fay, did have a relationship with Doctor Alice Houghton. It was a same-sex relationship. They had actually moved in together and wanted to settle down with a child. Fay was unable to have children so it was Alice who had to get pregnant. They found a suitable donor and when the time came, they both went to Sydney for the birth.” Don paused and Jake stood to look at him face to face. “The tragedy was that Alice had serious complications and died in childbirth. I had kept in touch with Fay and she was shattered. She didn’t return here after that. She moved with you to Brisbane and made a life there. You can imagine how our parents reacted to all this. Having a child out of wedlock would have been enough, but a lesbian relationship as well.”
“I’m trying to take this all in Don. All these years Mum – Fay – kept this from me.”
“She felt responsible for Alice’s death and she was ashamed. Remember Jake, she was your Mother in every sense of the word except biologically. Everything she did was for you.”
Jake’s stomach was churning. “I feel like I’ve been cast adrift in a storm.” He looked across the gravestones at the ocean with a dazed stare. A light drizzle had begun. “You know what this means Don. You are not my Uncle and it’s not my Grandparents buried here.”
“Well, you’re right about one thing. I’m not your Uncle. Now come with me and we’ll visit your grandparents.” Don said with a wry smile and put his arm around Jake’s shoulder.