Valmay clasped her hands tightly in her lap and stared sheepishly at Dr Mendes. “I think the drugs that you gave me are doing something very unusual to me,” she said. “I have had dreams of things that have come true”.
It was obvious that life would be a lot different for Valmay after husband Samuel went. He was a healthy 78-year-old when a heart attack took him suddenly. The kids had settled overseas in the UK years ago. Valmay was not prepared for the solitude that followed. Sam’s musty odour still hung like old curtains around their small weatherboard house. The little noises from the floor boards and walls seemed so much louder now, especially at night. Valmay didn’t have many people to discuss her issues and she kept her worries bottled up. The young Jensen couple next door were mostly at work but they were always eager to help her whenever they could. Ben Jensen regularly used Sam’s old mower to mow the lawn for her when he did his own. Most of the other neighbours were in rental houses and she didn’t see much of them. Her sister Bronte was a phone call away but an hour away on the bus. She now had feelings that were too intense to ignore and Valmay was unsure what was happening to her. She could understand being sad from the loneliness but the physical symptoms worried her a great deal. She started to have episodes where she became short of breath and felt like her heart was about to jump out of her chest. Valmay knew it was time to get some help.
It was a cool and clear autumn day, as Valmay walked the two blocks from her house to the medical centre. She often did this walk to the shops and usually took the time to appreciate the leafy suburban area that she lived in. Not today - today was different. She could only think about herself.
This appointment with Dr. Mendes was the first since Sam’s death. The doctor had always been very attentive to Valmay’s needs and they had a friendly relationship. She thought about what she would tell him and wondered if perhaps she had some life-threatening disease. Perhaps she had heart problems like Sam. The doctor was 20 minutes late seeing her, which was not unusual. Why don’t doctors just allow a little more time for everyone? she thought. He showed her into the consultation room and she sat down. She liked the doctor, he made her feel important. He was always dressed neatly in a tie and smelled of aftershave. His name was George but she would never call him by the first name, always Doctor. He was past middle age with olive complexion with thick grey hair and neatly clipped grey beard. Valmay thought he was good looking for a man of his age. Valmay spent some time describing her feelings and symptoms while Dr. Mendes wrote notes and asked the occasional question.
“You’ve had a big change in your life with the loss of Sam,” he said. “It is quite common to feel anxious and depressed in these circumstances. If you could spend more time with other family or friends that would be a benefit,” he said.
“Unfortunately I don’t get many opportunities for that,” she replied.
“I’m prescribing an antidepressant for you Valmay. It will help you through this tough time and then we can reassess how you’re going.”
She would have liked to stay and chat longer but the allotted time was used. She left the medical centre, bought the pills from the chemist and headed off home. Hopefully, they would make her feel more like her old self.
About a week later Elly Jensen from next door asked after her health. “I’m good, better than ever most of the time.” The medication was doing the job quite well. She was much more relaxed and the heart palpations had stopped. There was, however, one particular concern. Valmay was having difficulty with sleeping. Mainly it was weird dreams waking her. The dreams mostly involved people and places from her past but the details faded very quickly as dreams generally do. The first of her special dreams, as she called them, surprised her with the power, and the clarity of detail. She had woken in her bed shaking. She sat up “Bloody hell, what was that.” The emotion that gripped her was not fear but amazement at what she had seen. Valmay could remember every detail. She went over it again and again in her mind. She was standing outside the chain wire fence at the front of her old primary school. The cool evening breeze whipped her skirt around her legs. The flickering light inside the window rapidly grew into blazing yellow and orange flames. There was a shadowy figure moving through the yard and a faint odour of petrol. The fire spread from the old buildings to the new. It seemed like she stood there for ages watching. The smoke started to burn her eyes and a siren echoed in the distance. She woke, cold, damp and trembling.
The next day Valmay thought about going back to see Dr. Mendes, but it had been less than two weeks since the last visit. It was only a dream after all. The 6 o’clock news came with a shock. Her old school - Duke Street Primary - had been damaged in a major fire. The circumstances surrounding the blaze were suspicious. Valmay was not a person who believed in the supernatural or things happening without explanation. However, this dream seemingly became a reality and it made her wonder if this was a genuine premonition.
She quickly decided that a coincidence was, of course, the logical explanation. So when she experienced the second of her special dreams just two nights later, she was disconcerted, to say the least. This time in her dream Valmay was sitting at the bus stop at High Street where she often caught the bus to go to her sister Bronte’s place. Directly across the street, smoke billowed out from under the eaves of the local community hall. She sat perfectly still and watched as the evening light slowly faded and the flames grew brighter. A darkened figure was standing inside the entry porch with an object in hand, swinging it to and fro. She smelled the smoke and heard the cracking timbers. Suddenly an explosion erupted at the back of the building and sent shudders through her body.
She woke with a start.”Oh no, not again,” she blurted out loud in the darkness of her room. Valmay was worried. She sat upright in her bed. She started to question herself. Am I losing my grip? Are these pills I’m taking some sort of hallucinogenic? Valmay was debating with herself when she might go back to see Dr Mendes. She heard the wailing siren of the fire truck through her bedroom window.
She managed to get back to sleep after spending some time tossing and turning. As soon as she woke and got herself dressed, she walked down to High Street to find the Community Centre totally destroyed. She could not get to close to the cordoned-off blackened ruins. Valmay found the dream fires and actual events very difficult to rationalise. She was beginning to believe that she had some ability for premonition or astral travel. She had witnessed two separate building fires while physically being in her own bed. She decided to see Dr. Mendes as soon as possible.
Valmay was lucky enough to get an appointment that afternoon. She sat in the waiting room and flicked through the pages of a women’s magazine without actually focussing on anything in it. She hoped the doctor wouldn’t think she was foolish. She was contemplating leaving when Dr. Mendes called her into the consultation room.
“You think you’re seeing the future?” he asked. Valmay knew the moment she saw that condescending smile spread across his face, that he would not be easy to convince. She gave him her best description of what had happened to her since her last consultation.
“Doctor, the things in my dream actually happened. I saw them. I saw the flames felt the heat, smelled the smoke. I even smelled petrol so I know someone started those fires.”
“Valmay, let’s just think about this for a minute. The mind can do some funny things sometimes, particularly when medication is involved,” he paused briefly. “Have you had any traumatic or bad experiences involving fires?” he asked.
“No, not really, I spent all my early life in the country and fire was something we used, not something to be scared of,” she said.
Dr Mendes stroked his beard and slowly gazed up at the ceiling fan. ”You say you found out the fires actually happened from the TV news?”
“Yes, that’s right, but the second time I went out and looked for myself as well,” she replied.
“What I’m thinking Valmay, is that you’ve seen these events on TV and believed that you’ve seen them before, in dreams. It is like an intense déjà vu,” he said. “It is very unlikely that you can see these events when you are not physically there.”
“The best approach now is to reduce the dosage of your medications and if you continue to have worrying side effects we will try a different drug. There are quite a few options, so come and see me if you have problems,” he said.
Valmay made her way home and thought about what the doctor had said. She could not escape the feeling that he did not believe her. This was a depressing thought. She had believed Dr. Mendes was on her side. “Déjà vu, really?” she thought. Valmay felt the need to convince him that she was not just a silly old woman. “I will be back to see you soon George,” she muttered to herself.
Ben Jensen had seen Valmay leave the house earlier. It would be a good time to mow her lawn and not disturb her. He made his way around the back of the house. He just finished mowing his lawn and would quickly do Valmay’s. Ben was surprised to find the petrol can he had filled only a few weeks ago, was missing.