Hi, my name is Obediah Fred, and this is my story. I warn you, it is an unusual story. If I tell you, you probably won't believe me. But that doesn't matter. It is simply a story that must be told. Why must it be told? Well… the same reason all truly unusual stories must be told… To challenge us, to confront us, to make us think twice about what we think we know, and three times about what we have never yet considered.
My story begins in a beautiful home, filled with lovely people, caring parents, and playful companions. My puppyhood was an ideal time. Each morning I was greeted with the excited paws of my brother and sisters, the calming cold nose of my parents, and the boundless excitement of human faces. There is no doubt that I was loved. We all were.
These were wonderful times, these early morning visits. The children so excited in their running, wrestling, scratching our bellies and ears. We did love their attention, even as we were getting used to the very fact that we were alive, still trying to figure out how to walk properly without falling over or bumping into everything. These times were so joyous and innocent, and I do think I loved these times more than any else.
You see, I was a special puppy. At least that's what my best friend Constance said. Constance was 9, and she was my owner. Of course technically it was her parents who were my owner, however in reality it was Constance, because it was Constance who was my constant companion, and I never left her side.
Constance was a truly special girl. She was so special that she was given first choice as to who would be her companion and friend out of myself and all my siblings. Above all the others she choose me, and a fact that gave me such innocent pride as a young pup. Constance meant everything to me, and we were never apart.
Constance taught me many lessons in these early weeks of my life. Important lessons such as how to pee and poop in the appropriately designated areas, how to eat all my food and respond to my name, and how to make friends with both kin and people alike. Constance could tell that I was really smart, because I learned all these things very quickly. By the end of my first week of life, I was already a master of these simple rules.
Week two was a little harder as Constance wanted to challenge me, but I continued to surpass expectations. In that next week I learned everything that she taught me, and by the end of the week I knew all the tricks that my parents knew, and all the tricks that were written in the guidebook that Constance used to help her train me. It had been such a fun time together, running around with Constance and watching her pretend to be a dog to show me what to do.
For the next two weeks, Constance decided that I was so smart that she was going to teach me how to speak. The next two weeks were hilarious for everyone involved. You see, and this may come as a surprise to you but… Dogs can't talk. At least not human language. For most dogs this is because the language is simply too abstract, and their minds just don't work that way.
But for me that wasn't the problem. I could understand the language well enough, and Constance was certainly committed and able to teach me the basics. However I could not speak, because the mouth of a dog just isn't suited to human speech! But Constance was committed, and she persisted, and I learnt many things, but prevailed in no speech, except to be able to say one thing, "I love you". Why these words came and no others I do not know why, but I do know they gave Constance so much joy.
It was around this time that Constance started having lots of visitors. She loved them all very much, and she would always show me off to them. She told them how smart I was and how I could speak and understand her words. They laughed with her and said "Of course he can Constance, he's the smartest dog in the world!" Constance would smile and laugh and say "he really is!", but deep down she knew they didn't really understand.