2.
I awoke to a bright sunrise, and my first thought was what a lovely day it was and then immediately I thought back to the story of my book. I had a hard time throughout the day focusing on my job as I kept thinking about the protagonist, Tali, and her story of woe. I wondered if I could ever overcome a tragedy like hers.
At one o'clock in the morning I was sobbing my eyes out, so deeply touched by this beautiful story with such a fabulous ending. I put the book down on the bedside table, switched off the lights and cried myself to sleep. When was the last time I had even cried let alone sobbed until my tears dripped onto the pages of the book until my heart ached so much it wanted to break not only from the sadness of Tali's loss but also from her happiness? The story also made me realise I had not been to church for a very long time, or even visited my parents for some time. I felt awfully guilty and ashamed.
I had made it a personal rule to stay away from shops in any form, shape or size over the weekends – that would be like working overtime – but I was eager to get back to Readers Rest to buy more books by this author. Somehow I resisted and instead packed a bag and went to visit my parents for the weekend. They were delighted to have their only daughter home for a few days, while my much, very much, younger brother at only eighteen (now there was a big accident!) was unperturbed by my presence. He was such a surfing fanatic, that if he was not surfing – for instance if he was at school – he was dreaming about it. I was pleasantly delighted to discover he had got involved in the Christian surfing school at the local beach.
'So how come the sudden visit?' my mom asked me in the kitchen as she put the kettle on to make us coffee.
'I read this book, yep, don't look at me so strangely, I did buy a book, and I did read it. Its story was so beautiful, and it just made me think a little about my crazy busy life, so here I am, sorry that I have been so scarce…' I had a pathetic sorrowful expression on my face.
'And I also realised I need to go back to church.'
I felt a burst of happiness at seeing delight across my mother's face on hearing that little bit of news.
'Oh Salma, I am so thrilled. Now we need to get you a nice Christian boyfriend!'
She loved teasing me about my single status. I raised my eyebrows and shook my head. It was great to feel the love and harmony of my family home again.
On Sunday, I went to church with my family and listened to a riveting sermon and was made to feel so minuscule in my devotion to God that the guilt overwhelmed me. That, coupled with the stirred feelings that had surfaced from my book, caused me to cry as I sat there in God's house. I had fallen so far away; I needed Jesus to take my hand and direct me back to where I belonged. My mother, hearing my tiny sobs, took my hand and squeezed it gently, giving me a look of pure love and acceptance. We visited with the members over tea and coffee at the building after the worship service. A few people I recognised made the effort to say hello and to find out how I was and also to encourage me not to stay away for so long again. I honestly did appreciate that. While I walked to where my car parked, I noticed a man getting into his car and knew that I knew him from somewhere but could just not place where. He had a nice face, sharp features and black hair – not too thick, but with a definite kink in it. He was neatly dressed and relatively tall. I smiled to myself.
After a scrumptious meal delivered as only my mother could deliver, I had a nap for an hour or so. This weekend seemed so surreal to me; I felt as if I had ascended to another plane and become someone completely different. On my way home I stopped off at the beach and soaked up the last few rays of sunshine. I watched the surfers catching a few final waves for the day, and one of them happened to be my brother Brice. He put his board on the ground and before drying off wrapped his big arms around me in an affectionate, marvellous, tight wet goodbye hug. That hug that was given so freely by Brice was the first of its kind between us siblings ever.
'Don't be such a stranger sis, we all miss you.'
His show of affection deeply moved me, and it confounded me after my already emotional last few days, and I had to swallow the lump sitting in my throat before I replied, 'Nope, will make sure of that, you're even going to get sick of me.'
He laughed, and I got awarded another relished hug.
***
It was a long three weeks later before I made a stop at the mall again and popped in at Readers Rest. I went directly to the shelf with my new favourite author's books and purchased two more. The young lady was almost laughing when I presented the books to her to cash up.
'I told you that you would enjoy the book.'
'Oh my gosh! I couldn't put it down, and I have never cried so much in my life. I just haven't been able to get here sooner to get these.'
She presented her hand to me and introduced herself, 'My name is Jayce.'
I introduced myself to her, and we chatted briefly about what I might expect in the next two books, without Jayce giving too much away. Another customer required her attention, and I made a cup of coffee and sat down in the comfortable leather chair. Slowly I opened the pages of one of the books, glancing through it but not reading the ending. The door to the store opened and the man coming in stood aside to allow an elderly lady out of the store before he entered. I remembered him from previously, and it was almost like watching a replay of that day as he retraced his footsteps in the same manner, first to Jayce then to his office. He greeted me as he passed me too. I stood up to leave and said goodbye to Jayce, who quickly came around from behind the counter and handed me a pamphlet.
'It's our programme for the month, we have lots of things going on here all to do with books,' she offered as I read the information.
'Wonderful, thank you!' I replied, having noticed that most of these events happened over weekends.
I knew I would not attend them but did not tell Jayce that.
***
It was good to be out with my friends for a change. We sat in the non-smokers section of our favourite club and watched people dance and be merry. When we did go out in the evenings, we came here unless we took the trip to Durban, which did not happen very often. Women travelling on the roads at night these days was just too much of a risk for such a long distance. I recognised Jayce and waved and smiled at her when she also recognised me. I also noticed that she was very comfortable with a man more her age and so my theory that she was dating her boss flew out of my thoughts.
I had enjoyed a few dances with the men that had come up to ask me, but never more than two dances in case they got the wrong impression and tried to take it a step further. I had learnt this from experience. As I was moving from the dancefloor to my seat, I fixed my eyes on the owner of the bookstore. I followed him with my eyes as he walked past several people and into the men's toilets. My eyes remained focused on the toilet door waiting for him to exit it and to follow him again. I was curious as to whether he was going to join Jayce or not. The door opened, and out he walked and headed straight for the bar buying only one drink, then he weaved in between people until he had indeed reached Jayce.
'Uh-huh,' I said to myself, but then I had to mentally slap myself when it was obvious that there was nothing between them as Jayce's complete focus was on her male partner.
A few minutes later after he'd finished his drink, he made for the exit and left. He did look familiar other than from the bookstore, though, but I couldn't think why. My friends and I decided to leave at about one o'clock in the morning. If I'd had my way, I would've been at home reading my book, which I'd reluctantly had to put down to go out, a long time ago. People were milling about the tables set up just outside of the club and also in the parking lot. Sometimes one had to be very accurate to dodge a drunken person falling over. As I passed a bunch of people, a set of eyes caught mine, and my heart went fluttering out of its shell.
Wow, that has never happened before, I told myself silently.
He smiled, and I blushed as I smiled back.
'Hi,' he said still smiling.
'Hi,' I replied still walking towards my car.
He didn't follow me or try to have a conversation with me, and so I finally got home with that man's eyes drilled into my mind. I wondered or rather I hoped I would see him again. But when that would be I didn't know. It was time for my MaxiS country visit and that meant I was going to be away from home for a few weeks. I sighed and fell asleep.