1.
‘Where are we going to now?’
‘We are going to the lodge, Mommy. You are going to live there now,’ I replied.
This conversation had been repeated at least fifty times in the last half an hour. My mother’s confusion and agitation was getting on my nerves so intensely I had to grab at every bit of patience I had left not to explode. It was not her fault; she had no idea she was repeating herself and if I told her she was it would confuse her even more. Then her agitation would most likely increase and so the snowball effect just kept rolling on.
The day the retirement home phoned to inform me that there was a room available for her I had burst into tears from sheer relief. Her refusal to move into a retirement home left me no choice but to lie to her. Fortunately, the name of her new home was “Helderberg Lodge” which lent itself out to a white lie. We were met by the resident manager who had the softest smile and most caring eyes. Then we were shown to my mom's room, unpacked her bags and were given a tour of the facilities.
‘Why are we here again?’
‘This is your new home, Mom. Isn’t it a lovely place? Just look at the garden, I am sure they will let you help with the gardening. You love that.’
‘Oh yes,’ she said as she gazed at the flower beds, examining every leaf and bud.
It was time for lunch, so we made our way to a table in the dining room, and joined some other residents. My mother made idle chatter with the lady next to her, and I felt a wave of relief wash over me. She would be safe here, safe from getting out the gate and wandering off into the streets, safe from falling down the steps, safe from being bitten by the parrot (she would always forget she shouldn't go near him), safe from setting the house on fire. She would be in a controlled environment where she would be reminded gently to have a bath and to eat. And she would receive a three-course meal, three times a day. I was so grateful to God for answering my prayers.
When it was time for their nap after lunch, most of the residents automatically went to their rooms and got comfy on their beds. It took the nurse some coaxing and coercing before eventually getting my mom to her bed. I sat with her until her eyes closed and then I left. I knew the first few days and especially the nights would be difficult for her. Unfamiliar surroundings unsettled her tremendously, and she did not sleep very well in any case. I knew she was going to get out of bed and wander around the corridors, and in doing so, she would undoubtedly throw herself into a state of total disorientation. The nurse assured me they were trained to cope with this kind of behaviour.