5.
Some days were intensely depressing but some days were highly entertaining. I know most people would frown upon making fun of the elderly and especially those with Alzheimer’s or Dementia but without mocking them, I have to share a few incidents that occurred during the lunch times that I spent at the home.
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Not long after Mom moved to the Flamingo section, I went to visit her as usual during my lunch break. She was sitting next to a gentleman, and they were chatting away, eating and laughing. It was a wonderful moment and not wanting to ruin it I simply sat opposite them and let them continue their conversation until she noticed me. As usual, her eyes lit up when she saw me, and I got rewarded with a beautiful smile. I joined the conversation and suddenly out of the blue, Mom went into a panic mode. I enquired as to what was upsetting her as she began to look for something in her pockets.
‘I can’t find my purse. I must have left it at home, sherbet, what now?’
The gentleman also began to search.
‘Mine is also gone; someone must have stolen them!’
‘What’s wrong Mommy?’ I reached over and held her hand to make her look at me.
‘We haven’t got any money with us, and we have already started eating this food. How are we going to pay for it?’
‘Don’t worry Mom, I already paid for it when I came in.’
‘And what about my friend, can you lend him some money to pay for his?’
‘I paid for his too, Mom.’
‘Oh good, thanks! Shoo, I can’t believe we left our money behind. My daughter has paid for our meals,’ she said as she turned to the gentleman next to her and pointed to me at the same time.
‘Thank you, dear,’ he said to me.
Then he called out to the nurse, ‘Waiter! Where is our dessert? I want it now.’
He turned to Mom and called her all sorts of sweet names. There they were, in the midst of a normal lunch at the home, and yet in their minds, they were in love and being served at a restaurant. I sat and watched them, smiling with the nurse.
***
One day Mom was merrily eating away at her chicken and vegetables when a gentleman a few tables away from ours started calling out a name rather loudly. I could not make out the name, but he tried to whistle afterwards each time. I presumed he was calling his dog. He fussed and looked around for a few minutes before calming down and talking to the floor on the right side of his chair. He picked a chicken bone off his plate and threw it across the room and watched where it landed all the while talking to the dog. When he surmised that the dog had returned to him, he took his plate of food and emptied the contents onto the floor next to him. The nurse rushed to him and reprimanded him, bending down to pick up the food at the same time. While she was bent over next to him, he patted her head and told her to eat the food and enjoy it. She was not impressed at being mistaken for his dog, and when she stood up and straightened her hair, he yelled at her to finish eating the food. She walked away and left the food there to be cleaned up after lunch. The gentleman spoke to his dog all the while through lunch, not having taken a bite himself but instead making sure his dog had eaten. I am convinced he had a dog that he truly loved at some point in his life.
***
A lady that used to live with her husband at the retirement home got moved to the Flamingo section, and he would join her there for most of the day. Only on rare occasions was he unable to make it at lunch time. On one such occasion, the lovely lady walked into the dining room and wandered around a little before she got shown to her seat and persuaded to sit and wait for her food. She did so for a minute or two, and then she stood up again and wandered around a bit before being seated again in her chair.
It was a common occurrence with a lot of the residents, but what made this so entertaining was that the next time she stood up and before a nurse, I, or anyone else could get to her, she had taken off her skirt and was halfway with removing her blouse. A nurse got to her in time, dressed her again and seated her at the table once more. Lunch was a little late that day, and after few minutes had passed, she managed to remove her blouse and her skirt before anyone noticed while still in her seat. She stood up and promptly started pushing down her panties. The nurses were onto her in a flash, and she tried to run away from them with her knickers around her knees! She told the nurses off with a few very eloquent choice words (not to be repeated) as they struggled to get her clothing back on.
By now the food had arrived, and the nurses were gathering to collect and deliver it to the residents. The lady was safely back in her seat – but not for long! While the nurses concentrated on serving the food, she disappeared out of the dining room and returned not a few moments later completely naked. Oh my goodness, those poor nurses moved with lightning speed to get her dressed again. Once she had her meal in front of her, she seemed to calm down. I was giggling so much, but by myself, as fortunately the rest of the residents had no idea what was going on otherwise it would have been a room of utter hysteria.
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The last incident I want to share was maybe not so entertaining as it was interesting. I sat at the table with Mom and opposite me a lovely bright-eyed, beautiful old lady sat, holding a framed black and white photo. She seemed very coherent and made a lot of sense when she spoke. I asked her about the photo, at which she lit up like a thousand stars and eagerly showed it to me. It was a photo of her in her youth standing between two very smartly dressed men in uniform. She told me they were in the Navy at the time and that she had been a singer that travelled to all the army bases to sing for the troops.
That particular photo got taken at an admiral’s dinner where she had sung as part of the entertainment for the event. She went on to tell me wonderful stories of her trips to the troops and the people she had met. Her stories intrigued me that I ignored poor Mom the entire visit. What a wonderfully exciting life she must have led. From that day on we remained good friends, always sharing pleasantries every time I went to visit Mom.
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I hope you don't think of me as being rude and sadistic. Sometimes you have to find humour in disheartening situations. I did this for some days with Mom left me exhausted and so depressed that when these moments occurred I grabbed at them to make light of dark situations.