Gert had a long, slow, boring weekend which consisted of Issues dictating the movies they would watch and the fattening food they would eat. They did not move, except to scratch and run the remote. That was the one thing Issues let Gert do. It gave her purpose. It almost seemed like he was smiling sometimes, like he knew the truth: she was the cat to his human. By late Sunday morning it appeared Issues had literally taken root and begun to sprout, while Gert was in a perpetual cramp from absolutely no bodily movement whatsoever. Small amounts of stretching had begun on both parts, and it was mutually known that movement and life were soon to begin again. Just as acceptance of the inevitable was mentally taking place, the telephone chirped. It chirped again.
Gert was never one to ignore the phone when it rang, especially when all this stupid cat did was sit and stare at it. He certainly wasn't going to answer it. Worthless feline. Worthless. Gert grabbed at the phone at the very thought of forgetting the existence of her cat/spouse. Worthless.