That night the assistant and her flatmate were eating pizza and watching the procession on TV. “I don’t care what you say Leslie that dress is not going back on the racks.” She reached for her glass of wine. “They were both so …so...
well, you know. I couldn’t hire that gown out again without thinking of them.”
“Then you do what you feel is best, Magda” her flatmate said, running her long, red fingernail up her friend’s thigh.
“You always do what is right.”
The Séance.
‘The Séance’ was created as an exercise in humour. I have been to séances and the scene as is described could be a factual portrayal of almost any one of them.
o0o
“Is this the place we’re looking for?” Ruby asked peering with one eye through a narrow gap in the tall wooden fence.
Her view was limited by the size of the gap and what appeared to be the spindly branches of a conifer growing against the fence on the other side. Looking beyond the long, narrow, overgrown front yard and a curving row of tall trees separating the yard down the middle she could just make out the outline of a dark brick Federation style cottage. I’ve got a bad feeling about this place, Ruby thought. I hope Pauline knows what she is doing. Turning to her friend she asked “Are you sure this is the place?”
Pauline reread the address on the slip of paper she was holding and looked again at the numbers painted on the fence.
“Yes, number 61. This is it. Come on.” The rusting hinges on the gate squeaked a protest as Pauline eased it open and stepped into the yard. Taking a deep breath Ruby slowly followed.
Dark conifers on either side of the cracked concrete path leaned toward each other creating a tunnel of greenery to the old house, forcing the two women to walk single file up the narrow path. Ruby moved closer to Pauline, trying to shelter her large body behind her friend’s smaller one as they walked toward the front door.
Pauline stopped and Ruby bumped into her. “Ruby, what’s the matter with you? You’re closer to me than my shadow.
If you want to walk in my footsteps, let me get out of them first” she said.
“Sorry,” Ruby mumbled. The poorly lit, funnel effect created by the foliage made her nervous. It feels like we’re entering into the Twilight Zone, she thought. Oh, I really hope Pauline knows what she’s getting us into.
Pauline pressed the brass button on the front door and a faint ring echoed somewhere inside. Pauline smiled at her friend. “Well, it’s our first time and we made it” she said. “Aren’t you excited?”
Before Ruby could answer the door was flung open and a small, thin woman, about sixty years of age stood there.
“Welcome, ladies. Do come in” she said graciously. Her quick movement as she stepped aside caused the skirt of her mottled brown chiffon layered dress to swirl against her legs.
“Is this is your first time to one of our meetings?” she asked. Before either woman could reply she went on “I thought so. I never forget a face. My name is Lavinia Cook. And you are - of course; Pauline and Ruby. Yes, I took your phone call saying you’d be coming. Welcome ladies. Now, if you’ll just follow me we will join the rest of our little assembly.”
The two women were led into a room where about fifteen people were standing about in small groups, chatting. They looked up as the women entered and, not recognising Pauline and Ruby, smiled absently at them, and went on with their conversations.
“Do make yourself known” Lavinia said. “You’ll find we’re all friendly, here. I would introduce you, but until Enid starts our séance, I’m rostered on door duty tonight. Gracious me! There goes the front door bell. I must away”. And, with a small tinkling laugh, she hurried off, leaving Pauline and Ruby to their own devices.
“So, what do you think?” Pauline asked.
“Well, I have to admit, it all looks ... normal” Ruby said, glancing around.
“What did you expect? Pointed black hats and cauldrons,” laughed Pauline.
Ruby shrugged. “I don’t know. I’ve never been to a séance before.”
“Ooooh! Then be careful when they turn the lights out” teased Pauline. Her blue eyes twinkled.
“Oh, they’re not going to turn the lights out, are they?” protested Ruby. “I’m telling you now Pauline, I’m leaving if they do.”
“Then we really will have things that go bump in the night,” laughed Pauline. She patted Ruby’s arm. “Relax” she said. “They’ve got to turn the lights out.”
“Why?” demanded Ruby.
“It’s a well-known fact” Pauline said. “Spirits don’t materialise in a lit room; something to do with the ectoplasm.”
Ruby opened her mouth to ask what ectoplasm was, and then thought better of it. “I don’t know why I come with you to these places” she complained. “You’re always getting us into trouble. Why can’t we go to the movies like everyone else?”
“Variety is the spice of life,” said Pauline. She thought for a moment. “You know what your trouble is, Ruby. You’ve got to live a little. You're too timid. Anyway, as for getting us into trouble, was it me that asked at that Hare Krishna banquet if the little puffy things were meat balls?”
“How was I to know they didn’t eat meat?” protested Ruby.
“Well, what about that very masculine wax figure, hmmm?” Pauline grinned as she looked at Ruby. “You nearly had us thrown out because of that episode.”
“Well, the flowers draped over him were real” mumbled Ruby. “They confused me.”
“Want me to continue?” teased Pauline.
Ruby’s lips curved in a silent “NO!” She turned away from Pauline and gazed around the large room. A flickering gas fire in a nearby grate caught her attention. Then her gaze shifted to the picture of Jesus hanging above it, hands outstretched in supplication, as if apologising for the feeble flame. He wouldn't be hanging here if they were into voodoo, hoodoo, she thought, comforted by His image.
Ruby scanned the rest of the room. A well worn, old-fashioned three-piece burgundy velvet lounge suite, a heavy oak sideboard and assorted bric-a-brac completed the permanent furnishings. She glanced to the middle of the room where twenty white plastic chairs were positioned around a large brass crucifix sitting on the floor. Hope they don’t have sacrifices, thought Ruby. Looking at the elderly faces in the room she giggled to Pauline. “Not many vestal virgins here.”
Pauline stared at her friend. “Sometimes I worry about you, Ruby, I really do.”
A well-built, middle-aged woman glanced at a tiny watch on her wrist. She clapped her hands to attract attention.
Everyone stopped talking and looked at her. “Thank you” she said, smiling. “I think everyone has arrived now so if you take your places, we can start our meeting. “
“She must be Enid, the medium” whispered Pauline to Ruby as they joined the others on the circle of chairs around the crucifix.
Enid waited for everyone to settle. “Welcome,” she said. Her voice was cultured, theatrical. “We have come together to make contact with those in spirit who wish to communicate with us.” She looked at the circle of rapt faces staring back at her. “To raise the vibrations in the room and make it more harmonious for our unseen visitors, we’ll start the evening with that lovely old hymn, ‘God be with us ‘till we meet again’” she said.
Taking a deep breath that thrust her ample bosom out, Enid led the group in song. “Till we meee...ee...eet. Till we meee...ee...eet. God be with us till we meet again.” The thin reedy voices of the elderly ladies struggled for the high notes of the hymn.
Ruby watched fascinated as a woman across from her extended her scrawny neck upward to its limit, her gaze tilted heavenward as if searching for the elusive sounds. Nudging Pauline, Ruby leaned toward her. “Like a roomful of badly tuned bagpipes” she giggled.
“Shhh, they’ll hear you” Pauline whispered, elbowing her friend to keep quiet.
The hymn ended and Enid spoke. “All join hands to form an unbroken circle,” she said. “We’ll say the ‘The Lord’s Prayer,’ then follow with a prayer of blessings and wait for the first spirit to contact us. Everyone, eyes closed and head bowed, please.” There was a charged feeling of excitement and anticipation in the room.
Uneasy, Ruby opened one eye and quickly scanned the faces of the people grouped in the circle.
Pauline nudged her. “Eyes closed, Ruby,” she whispered.
Someone tiptoed over to the door and flicked the light off. The faint glow from the heater cast eerie shadows into the silent room. Ruby kept her eyes shut. Anything touches me and they’ll get a ghost all right, she thought. Mine, as I die of fright.
Everyone was quiet, heads bowed, eyes closed, waiting.
“Great Scott! What’s that?” Enid thundered, shattering the silence.
Ruby jumped, her eyes flicking open at the loud, unexpected noise. Chills rocketed up her spine as she saw that everyone was staring at her. “Pauline…” she whimpered.
“At last, after all these years I can see an aura” a frail old lady whispered. Tears ran in rivulets down her cheeks.
“Rubbish! It’s nothing of the sort” Enid said, glaring at Ruby.
“Pauline …” Ruby’s voice quavered. “Oh please! Tell me there isn’t. – Oh, get my brown paper bag out of my handbag. Quick! I’m starting to hyperventilate.”
Enid stomped over and stood in front of Ruby. “How dare you ruin our evening” she thundered. Ruby moaned at the onslaught and wheezed short fast breathes into her paper bag. Pointing to the door Enid yelled “Now, get out, you ...
you ... disbelievers, and never come back.”
Ruby and Pauline fled.
Outside Pauline burst out laughing. “Okay, tell me how you did it.”
