Ambush
Half-light, my back is killing me. Plus, I’m freezing. I sit up, yawn, stretch and realize the terrace door is wide open. But I distinctly remember closing it. How could I have been so dumb? I take a quick look around the room, check the terrace real quick, then close the door. I’ve lost her! So angry with myself I could spit, I whip on a sweatshirt, wipe the poop off the radiator and turn it on full blast. I take a closer look around hoping that she’s hiding somewhere and find my wallet on the floor, pick it up, don’t think much about it, and put it on the table next to my…keys? Where the hell? Then I check the wallet.
“Son of a…”
Open the door, look down from the terrace and immediately call the police.
“Hi, uh, you’re not going to believe this…”
“Wait.” she says, “Let me guess. A crow stole your car.”
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Vodka and Poultry
and
Pi in the Sky