TIES THAT BIND
Why did Josie change her mind about Roger? Was it his clumsiness in trying to do the right thing to win her love? Was it the adverse weather conditions he dared to prove his affection for her? Or was it his sincerity when in dates he would tell her phrases like “You are worth an Empire”? Did she figure that since Roger had never dated before he was just being natural, not rehearsed?
Roger never found out the answers to these questions: Josie never told him. He remembers vividly, though, the first time she showed some interest in him. One day, he bought a suit, a coat and a hat and went to see her. When he arrived at her house she was typing a term paper. She continued her work, but said in a soft voice: “Talk to me”. As Roger started talking to her, she decided to stop typing. The idea of marriage and children soon became the topic of conversation. Josie indicated that she wanted twelve children, a notion that pleased Roger because he came from a rather large family himself. They also determined to continue going steady and start planning for the wedding.
Since Josie was from the Dominican Republic and Roger from Spain, they decided to follow the Spanish tradition in everything that led to marriage. First, the father of the man asks the father of the lady his daughter’s hand for his son. Since Roger’s father was in Spain and Josie’s father was in the Dominican Republic, Roger him self asked Zunilda for her daughter’s hand. After some questions about his intentions and some reminders of responsibilities, she consented. They had their first kiss, there, in front of her mother, a short and tender kiss.
Josie and Roger continued being chaperoned every time they went out together, not because Josie’s mother did not trust them, but because she “did not trust human nature”, as she used to tell her daughter. Roger’s engagement to Josie did not change his propensity to act awkwardly on dates. On one occasion, Zunilda accompanied them to a movie. Usually, Josie would be seated at Roger’s right and her mother to his left. That night, however, they inadvertently changed their sitting positions. During the film, Roger leaned to his right and put his arm around Zunilda thinking that she was Josie. Detecting unusual coldness in the response, Roger whispered: “Boy, you’re rather cold today…” The reply was: “Roger, look at me.” He did and nearly died of embarrassment when he saw Zunilda.
What drew Roger to Josie, besides her beautiful face and attractive body, was her intelligence and her generosity. He trusted her without reservation because of her mental alertness and her wit. He also trusted her taste because of her artistic talent. He knew that whatever she chose would please most people. He enjoyed and cherished her companionship and took for granted that whatever “little defects” she may have had would disappear with time, the same as she must have thought of Roger’s own “defects”. They set their wedding date for June 1962, more than one year after their engagement.
WANTAGH, NEW YORK
Meanwhile, Roger decided to look for another teaching position in a public high school. He sent resumés to various districts in New York City and Long Island. He obtained a teaching assignment in the department of foreign languages at Wantagh High School, Wantagh, New York. He signed a contract that would become effective on the first of September, 1961. Roger was very excited about his new job in a Long Island school, but continued teaching at Searing until the end of the summer.
Towards the middle of the third week in August, the Wantagh High School District Office notified Roger that he could not teach in a public school unless he had a certificate of “Declaration of Intent” to become an American citizen. “No problem”, he replied, “I’ll work on it right away”. He was reminded that he should have the document by August 31st, since the contract became effective on September 1st.
Unaware of the legal requirements to obtaining such a document, Roger went the next day to Immigration. To his dismay, he found out that before he could make the “Declaration of Intent”, he should have “permanent residency status”. Since he was a Spaniard, he had to be placed on an eight-year waiting list. Distressed and somewhat discouraged, he returned to Searing School.
During the train ride to Somers, New York, Roger entertained a wild idea, so wild that he never thought it would come to pass. Nevertheless, he tried it. Upon arriving at Searing School, he telephoned Josie and asked her to marry him the next day… “only a civil marriage”, he hastened to add. He explained to her the reason, and quickly volunteered that he would not consider that as a “real marriage”, and that he would feel himself married to her only after their church wedding in June as originally planned. Reluctantly, she agreed, provided that her mother consented as well, a very unlikely prospect.
Knowing Zunilda as well as he knew her, Roger realized that to convince her to go along would take almost a miracle. What would the Dominican community think when they learned about her daughter’s civil marriage? What if Roger and Josie considered themselves married in fact, though not sanctioned by the Church, and decided to live together before their religious wedding? Roger knew that Zunilda would ask herself those and similar questions before she would give her blessing to a marriage so contrary to her traditions and beliefs.
Nevertheless, accompanied by his friend Don who was then courting one of Josie’s cousins, Roger went to talk to Zunilda the next evening. He met Josie’s older sister, Sagie, who was visiting from California. With Sagie’s enthusiastic support and Josie’s acquiescence, Zunilda was finally convinced to go along with Roger’s plan, albeit with reluctance and visible nervousness.
Another problem surfaced, however, when Josie’s citizenship was examined. Documents proving that she was indeed Zunilda’s daughter had to be translated and notarized. This proved to be a gigantic task that Roger decided to accomplish himself in the midst of finals for summer classes. He finished the translations just two days be fore the deadline given to him to produce the “Declaration of Intent” document. The next day Roger had the translations notarized. There was now only one day left for the civil marriage to occur.
August 31, 1961 was a very busy day for both Roger and Josie. They had to be at Immigration before three thirty in the afternoon. Roger had to give two finals that day and be present at his “civil wedding” or forget about his teaching contract with the Wantagh High School District. Fortunately, his friend Riccio volunteered to administer the two exams so that Roger could take an early train from Somers to New York. After having finished some remaining details, Roger and Josie arrived at City Hall at two o’clock in the afternoon. The two guards at the judge’s forechamber cautioned them that the judge was very reluctant to perform civil marriages on Catholics, being himself a member of the Knights of Columbus. While Roger and Josie were discussing how to approach the Judge who would carry out the civil ceremony and issue the marriage license, he came out of his chambers and asked them: “Where are your witnesses?” They had none. They asked the judge if it was alright if the guards could be their witnesses. He agreed and went on with the ceremony.
With marriage license in hand, Roger and Josie left City Hall and ran to Immigration, a few blocks away, for the interview they had arranged with an officer. They arrived minutes before the office closed. The officer expressed reservations about the sincerity of such a hastily arranged marriage. Roger reassured him that before this situation came about, they had already planned to get married. The officer issued the document that Roger needed, and thus became one of the many good people who positively affected his future. That very afternoon Roger notified Wantagh High School District of the happy disposition of his case. His contract became effective the next day. He had been very lucky, but he felt very deeply grateful to those involved in helping him and to the United States that provided him with an opportunity to earn a living and continue his education.
When the school year started in September, Roger found a room in a private home, within walking distance from the school, where he could stay during the week. On week-ends, he would go to New York to take courses towards his Master’s degree at St. John’s University. He had told the family that he was married, that his wife was taking daily courses in College and that she could not yet join him. They wanted to know her, which would not have been diffi cult to arrange, were it not for the fact that they wanted her to stay overnight. Somehow, Roger always found a logical excuse for Josie not to appear in Wantagh, until finally she showed up one Friday afternoon to accompany Roger to New York that evening.
Roger and Josie were married on June 30th, 1962 at Our Lady of the Ascension Church in Elmhurst, New York, by Father Porras, a priest from Spain who was studying at St. John’s University. The wedding followed very closely Spanish religious traditions as well as American post ceremony customs. Josie was nineteen years old and Roger twenty- seven. They went to Europe for their honeymoon.
They landed in Paris Orly airport early in the morning of July 3rd. They had joined a group of teachers on a chartered plane. On the bus to the hotel, Roger got an aisle seat on the left row and Josie, the opposite aisle seat on the right row. Since all the seats were taken, another row of seats was added between the two aisles for more passengers and a gentleman was seated between Roger and Josie. After a few questions that Josie asked Roger on their way to the Tuileries, the gentleman asked Josie: “Is this the first time you and your father come to Paris?” Josie answered him: “for me yes, but not for my husband”. The gentleman was all excuses and apologies: “Oh, I am sorry. It has been a long flight. I am not thinking straight…” He then volunteered to exchange seats with Roger.
Roger had been in Paris on his way from Poughkeepsie to Grugliasco as a Marist. With Josie, he revisited Montmartre, the cathedral of Notre Dame, the Eiffel Tower, Versailles and Sartre. They took an enjoyable boat ride through the river Seine and, since they both knew French, went to the theatre to see Corneille’s play Le Cid.
While in Paris, they were amused by the ways in which the French seemed to exhibit their romance publicly. On one occasion, they were crossing one of the bridges on the Seine. They stopped to contemplate the river, but were treated to a most charming scene. Three young people were sitting on a bench. A young man was between the two girls, kissing passionately the one on his left and then turning to his right to kiss the other in the same fashion. “Only in Paris” Roger and Josie agreed.
On another occasion, they were returning from a play late into the night. As they were approaching their hotel, they noticed a pair of young people against a wall also kissing passionately. At the same time as they passed the couple, a policeman was going the opposite way, but stopped in front of the kissing sweethearts, tapped the young man on his shoulder and said: “Excuse me, can you please tell me the time?” The young man looked at his watch and replied: “twelve thirty”. “Thanks”, said the policeman and then went on his way, while the young man went back to continue his kissing.
After a few days in Paris, Roger and Josie took the train to Spain. At the Spanish border of Irún, Roger was taken in by the police for questioning. Josie had to stay by herself watching the guards taking him into custody, not knowing what to think, in a country she did not know, worried about what was happening, concerned about her husband’s safety and perhaps even wondering about her husband’s true character. After many questions about his name and his parents’ names and his place of birth, they released him. He found Josie really worried, but managed to console her and to reassure her that nothing was wrong. Two days later, they read in the newspaper that a man whose name was identical to Roger’s had been arrested at the Irún border for having committed a murder in West Germany. Now, both Roger and Josie understood why Roger had been taken in for questioning.
Roger and Josie spent a few days in Madrid before continuing to Fuentesnuevas for Josie to meet Roger’s family and friends. They stayed at Esterita’s house until after the August 15th celebrations so that Josie could fully participate in local festivities. She accompanied Roger and his father to irrigate the land and harvest bell peppers, green beans and tomatoes or go to vineyards to taste the delicious grapes that were beginning to ripen.
During their stay in Fuentesnuevas, Roger decided to learn how to drive so that, upon his return to the United States, he would be able to drive to work from New York to Wantagh. One morning, instead of going to his driving lesson, he decided to go and visit one of his aunts in the old section of Ponferrada. On his way there, he heard a lady calling: “Roger, Roger?” He turned around, and the lady continued: “What are you doing here?” Roger replied: “I was born here. But, what are you doing in these parts of Spain?”. The lady was a teacher from Wantagh High School. Not only was she from the same school as Roger, but also from the same department, for she taught French. Roger took her to his sister’s house, and there, she met Josie for the first time.
After the August festivities, Roger and Josie went to Barcelona by train. At the train station, they actually had to pass through customs. A guard dressed in national uniform asked them to open their suitcases. Since he was a Spaniard and they were coming from Spain into another section of Spain, Roger objected at this violation of his rights as a Spaniard in his own country of birth. The guard answered dryly: “This is Barcelona”, a reminder to him that extreme, historical regionalism was still, even under Franco, a fact of Spanish real life.
From Barcelona, they went to Cadaqués, North of Barcelona, to see Roger’s sister Dorita. This beautiful beach resort area, home of the surrealist painter Salvador Dalí, was a tranquil, peaceful corner where both Josie and Roger could get inspired, he as an idyllic dreamer and she as an aspiring artist. That quiet spot that reconciles man’s aspirations to freedom and nature’s urge to dominate was a perfect location where to stop, rest, and contemplate.
The end of the summer vacation was getting near. They had a few days left to take the plane in Paris for New York. They decided to go to Rome via Lourdes, Monte Carlo and Ventimiglia. For a few days, they toured the Eternal City as Roger had done several times in the past. On their way from Rome to Paris, they stopped at Torino and went to Grugliasco so that Josie could see the places Roger had lived in and so he could relive those old times. Unfortunately, the Marists had sold their Grugliasco property and moved away. The buildings that had been dormitories and classrooms were now apartment buildings. The beautiful gardens in which Roger played were still there as gardens, but open to the public with no fence around them. The sight brought tears to Roger’s eyes for so much that was part of his life had disappeared or been transformed… He was happy, however, that Josie saw the place where he had grown physically, spiritually and intellectually. They continued their journey to Paris, and then, on to New York.
Back in the United States, Josie furthered her education at Molloy College for Catholic Women, while Roger continued to teach at Wantagh High School. During the second year of their marriage, however, he had to give private lessons in Spanish and French because his teaching salary was not enough to support his wife and his newly born son, Greg.
On August 8, 1963, Roger took Josie to the hospital for the removal, next morning, of a tumour she had on a finger. When Roger returned from his summer job that afternoon, he called the hospital to see how Josie was. A nurse told him: “Well, instead of having the tumour removed from her finger, your wife decided to have a baby”. Not realizing the nurse’s sense of humor, Roger continued:
“When is she going to have the operation on her finger”?
“The Doctor has not decided yet”, she replied. “Meanwhile you are the father of a baby boy.”
Now, Roger understood… Naturally, he was overjoyed and rushed to the hospital to see his wife and their son. When Roger saw the fruit of his love for his wife, he smiled instinctively as he bent over his child’s cradle, recreating one of the loveliest sights this world has to show, for it comes straight from heaven. Gregory was indeed a gift from heaven.
Like most people in the world, Roger remembers another important event in 1963, besides the birth of his first born child. Yes, he recalls where he was that historic day, November 22, when President Kennedy was assassinated. He had just finished teaching his last class that Friday afternoon and was picking his things to go home for the week-end when a student of his burst into the empty classroom with tears in her eyes and told him: “Mr. Fernández, they shot President Kennedy.” Roger will never forget that girl’s tears announcing the Dallas deadly shots, nor the first words of his parish priest’s sermon next Sunday: “Thunder struck, and a young President lay lifeless…” said the priest as he tried to shock the congregation into self-examination and contrition. Indeed, that was a sad week-end for Roger, for the nation he loved and for the world which had high hopes in that martyred young President. Roger’s imagination brought him back to Havana where he was when Kennedy was elected President. He celebrated then, but he had to mourn now…
In 1964, Josie received her B.A. in French from Molloy College, and Roger his M.A. in Spanish from St.John’s University, Queens, New York. Roger’s Master’s thesis was: “The image of Spain as seen in the writings of the Latin American Modernist Movement”, a literary movement that fascinated him.
In September that same year, Roger and Josie were blessed with the arrival of twin sons, Kent and Robert. This time the attending physician wanted Roger to be in the delivery room to witness the birth of the babies. When they arrived at Doctors’ Hospital in Manhattan, Roger was ushered into the labor room. Not being able to withstand the sight of Josie’s pain throughout labor, he fainted. The obstretician had to leave Josie for the moment while he assisted him. When Roger regained consciousness, Kent and Robert had already been born.
BREA, CALIFORNIA
In December, Roger and Josie decided to move west to California by the end of the school year. So, during the Easter recess, Roger went to California to look for a teaching position. He was offered a contract by the Fullerton High School District to teach Spanish and French at Lowell High School starting September 1965. He was also given an hourly assignment to teach French at Los Angeles City College on Tuesday and Thursday evenings.
When time came to leave Wantagh High School, Roger felt quite sad, for he had made good friends among the teachers and had grown very attached to the students, one of his weaknesses. The four years he taught at Wantagh had been rewarding in providing him valuable teaching experience and professional growth. He will always remember his colleagues’ teasing and his students, full of life and curiosity, ready to learn if properly motivated and fairly treated. In truth, he did not want to leave Wantagh.
Roger started reliving some of his fond experiences at Wantagh High School. One time, one of his colleagues was walking by his classroom. As usual, the classroom door was open. Roger was in front of the class carrying on his teaching. His colleague came to the door, made a sign to Roger to approach the door too. The colleague handed him a piece of paper that said: “Your fly is open”. Calm but worried, Roger continued the explanation as he moved slowly to the back of the room to check. When he looked, he found out that his fly was not at all open. He looked at the door and saw his friend happily laughing at the embarrassment…
On another occasion, Roger was teaching his advanced Spanish 4 class. They were reading the play “Canción de Cuna” (Cradle Song) by Gregorio Martínez Sierra in which the word “merengue” is used only as candy. Conscientious of his teaching duty, Roger ventured to explain to the students that “merengue” is also a dance. Upon saying that, he moved a little as if to show how the “merengue” steps go, but soon stopped. The girls, however, wanted him to continue and said: “Yes, Fernández, yes…” Certain that he would stop the girls’ wishes, he said: “No, because I do not have a partner”. A girl stood up and volunteered to be his partner. Embarrassed, he blushed and told her: “Thanks, but not in front of the class”.
Yes, Roger had grown very attached to Wantagh High School.
The Freshman class of 1962, the year Roger started teaching there, was graduating now. The student in charge of the Year Book wrote the following note on the Dedication page of his Year Book copy: “This page would have been yours had you not decided to leave Wantagh High…” She continued the note praising him for his work and wishing him “good luck” in his future teaching position. Many other students wrote similar sentiments of thanks and good wishes. It was certainly very difficult for Roger to leave Wantagh High School. Nevertheless, preparations had to be made to leave. Towards the middle of August, Josie flew to California with Greg, Kent and Bobby. Roger drove to Brea, California, in a Ford Fairlane packed with household items. With a very disciplined schedule, it took him just three days to drive from New York to Los Angeles. He slept two nights in a motel, retiring early in the evening and starting driving very early in the morning with calculated resting stops in between. With that controlled rhythm, Roger managed to drive close to one thousand miles a day. He arrived in Brea exhausted.
Accustomed as he was to a warm environment among family, friends, colleagues and students in New York, Roger’s first impression of California was that the climate was warm, but people were cold. His impression changed, however, when he began to make friends in California. The faculty at Lowell High School loved having fun and partying together. On one occasion, a faculty beach party was announced for one evening, asking teachers to bring food, drinks and hangers. Not sure of the reason for the need of the hangers and still ignorant of some of the customs of Southern Californians, Roger asked Josie to take the best two hangers out of their closet to take to the beach. She did, and they went to the party with two beautiful wooden hangers. It never occurred to him that the hangers were to be used to hold marshmallows over the fire…
The second year at Lowell High School, Roger became Lead Teacher of the Foreign Language Department. Though his responsibilities and his salary increased because of it, he had other plans in mind. He really wanted to teach at the College level now. He took the competitive examination that at the time was required to teach at the Los Angeles Junior College District. After the test, he was interviewed for a full teaching position at Los Angeles City College. He was hired for a full time assignment starting the Fall of 1967. Roger did not find leaving Lowell High School as painful as leaving Wantagh High School. Nonetheless, the hurt was still there, for he had made some good friends among his colleagues and the students had proved to be as imaginative and warm as his students in New York. He has some good memories of his students at Lowell. He will not easily forget that young girl who came to class five minutes late one day, with tears in her eyes, carried by two other very solemn and distressed girls. As Roger approached the door to inquire what was happening, one of the girls motioned with her hand for Roger to be quiet. “Sh…”, the girl whispered, “her boy friend has just broken up with her and she is very, very hurt. Please, be very gentle and understanding with her”. Roger whispered: “I will, don’t worry…”
During his high school teaching career, Roger was very strict with homework. Students were assigned homework that was to be shown to him. Students who could not produce their homework had to have good and reasonable explanations. He heard all kinds of excuses, some much more imaginative than others. One day, a student could not show her homework. She told him: “Mr. Fernández, you will not believe this. I did my homework yesterday evening. I left it on my desk, but my dog ate it…” Obviously, that excuse was as hard for Roger to swallow as it must have been for the dog.
EUROPEAN JOURNEY
Before leaving Lowell High School, Roger enrolled at the University of California at Irvine for his Ph.D. in Spanish. At the same time, he and Josie had to prepare for a trip to Europe with their three children that summer. They landed in Luxembourg where they stayed overnight near the train station. The next day they took the train for Stuttgart, Germany, to pick up the car that they had ordered while they were still in the United States: a Mercedes-Benz, reputed in those days to be very reliable and moderately priced.
In Stuttgart, they bought a tent and all accessories needed for camping. After three days in sunny and clean Stuttgart, they left for Hamburg in northern Germany. The next morning, a Sunday, they spent a very long time looking for a Catholic church. Nobody seemed to know where one was. Finally, almost ready to give up the search, Roger saw a very well dressed gentleman coming towards them. Roger turned to Josie and told her: “Do you see that man walking towards us? He is well dressed and looks intelligent. He will be able to direct us to a church.” Roger got out of the car, approached the man and, remembering that in Europe churches ring the bells to call the faithful for worship, asked him in what he thought was good German: “Catholic church?” Seeing Roger moving his arms as if to ring the bells, the gentleman said: “Ah, telephone?”… and pointed to a telephone booth nearby.
A last attempt at finding a church paid off when a very ordinary man gave them the right directions. Accustomed to rather warm religious celebrations, Roger and Josie, as well as the children, found the atmosphere so cold that they were never very sure that they had attended Mass, even though they recognized the ceremony in its entirety. They rationalized that Catholics in Northern Germany must have a more solemn concept of devotion and religious respect than in other parts of the world.
Roger and Josie continued their trek north towards Denmark. While in Copenhagen, they visited the zoo where they saw the biggest elephant ever which fascinated the children, the Carlsbad brewery which entertained Roger’s curiosity and, of course, the Tivoli Gardens that satisfied Josie’s taste for the arts by attending a concert of classical music.
On their way to Oslo, the family stopped at Goteburg, Sweden, for the night. Roger was tired of driving in the rain, particularly on the left side of the road. They pulled into a lonely and small gas station almost at closing time. The attendant was about to go home, but not only did he fill their car with gas, but accompanied them to the camping ground and helped them pitch the tent under a rather heavy rain. The lessons of helping one another and of finding goodness in every race did not go unnoticed by Roger or Josie who were quick to point this out to the children.
In their trip through Europe, Roger and Josie always planned to reach big cities at a time other than rush hour. They expected to arrive at Oslo, Norway, no later than three o’clock in the afternoon. It turned out that in Oslo that was the peak of rush hour. Everybody was returning from work and the traffic was a mess, just what Roger had wanted to avoid. Amazingly, they found also that after five o’clock life in the streets of the city was almost nonexistent. They were pleasantly surprised by the purity of the air and the cleanliness of the city.
Sometime after midnight Roger and Josie woke up. It looked as if it were dawn, almost daylight. Their watches did not indicate that, naturally, and they went back to sleep as the dark of night slowly returned to Oslo. They all woke up early in the morning to watch the fjords and the return of fishing boats, and taste the shrimps right as they were being brought in from the sea. Roger and Josie had read about this in the book “Europe on Five Dollars a Day”. They remember it as an enjoyable early morning.
Holland was a country Roger had great interest in knowing, mainly for its historical relation to Spain. They stopped in Breda, a city that reminded him of the great Velázquez’ well known painting “The Rendition of Breda”. As they were coming out of a restaurant after breakfast, they witnessed a very dazzling wedding cortege of dozens of beautifully decorated carriages driven by colorful horses. It was definitely not an ordinary wedding. The cortege stopped for picture taking at the entrance of the restaurant where Roger, Josie and their children had just had breakfast. However, they never found out who the bride and the groom were.
In Amsterdam, they did not have the opportunity to see the Van Gogh Museum that was only in the planning stages, but they saw a magnificent display of works of art in the open air near the railroad station. In the evening, Roger and Josie were a little bit intrigued by the red light district. The ladies at the window would put off the lights and pull down the blinds when a client arrived. The red lights in the windows caused the children to be curious. When questioned by them, Roger and Josie professed ignorance about the meaning of the lights.
Driving through Switzerland was delightful, heartwarming and relaxing. The harmonious balance of cultivated rich mountains and idyllic fertile valleys brought together Roger’s almost utopian image of the most pleasant abode. The camping ground they chose in Zurich was an extension of that natural beauty which brings the human being closer to his creator. Moreover, as a teacher of foreign languages, Roger appreciated Zurich’s multilingual environment. Not so with the children, for during the Mass on Sunday, the priest gave a sermon in French, Italian and German. Greg was not too impressed. He turned to his parents and asked: “Why does Jesus talk so much today?”
They crossed the Alps into Italy and rested for the night at a camping ground nestled high in th