Now what you do and what you want is entirely your business. I don’t want to sound nosey but I would like to draw a fine line between the kind of dating that is involved in these two quests.
Of course we are al grown up and so let us act like grown ups. Obviously in a casual relationship we are looking for fun. And mind you, fun can have a lot of connotations. So here the object of one’s desire wil obviously be a person who is not inclined towards a serious relationship.
If both parties are of the same view then it is wel and good because they understand each other perfectly and do not expect much from such a relationship. This leaves no room for heartbreak.
It is when one party is in for something more serious and the other party is into sheer frivolousness that the problems start. So you should be absolutely clear about what you are looking for from the start, and you should make your intentions very clear to the other person.
At the same time you should have no doubts about the intentions of the other person as wel . Remember, even if it is a casual relationship, there should be mutual understanding at least about the nature of the relationship.
Of course, there is yet another possibility where a casual relationship can blossom into something more serious. But, again in such cases it is your instincts that can help you identify what is good and what is bad.
No matter how strong a person is, anyone can be taken for a ride or be taken for granted. Being jilted is never a nice experience. So those of you who are going in for a casual relationship, for heavens sake, be on your guard! Marriage is altogether a different story but we wil deal with that later.
Dating Comes From a Fundamental Need
Let’s face it, of course sex is important, but sex is by far NOT the most important reason for dating.
Important! Maybe during the age of thoughtless youth, when new hormones are being pumped in and out, sex is on every one’s mind. But as one matures (mind you that does not mean growing old and gray) sex takes the back seat and mutual support, likes and dislikes, cooperation, caring and sharing come to the forefront. We start thinking about building up a world of our own and we need someone to share it with, and not just someone to sleep with.
Sex is a fundamental need of every human being. We al have it in us to give and receive physical pleasure. But when you sit and think about it for a minute, you can see that this urge is actual y the result of another urge.
There is a more primary urge in every human being to breed and produce offspring, and it is this urge that gives rise to such a powerful sexual desire. But whatever be the urge, the most dignified means to satisfy it is dating.
Nobody, not one of us, is complete without a partner; and it is to satisfy this need that people date. Because of this, the rest of this manual wil be dedicated not to finding the right sex partner, but to finding the right life partner.
Online Dating Is Here To Stay
Let’s accept the fact that dating couldn’t real y get better. Online dating is THE real thing. Let’s compare it to the old system of evening bal s or social gatherings. Imagine you are this big gathering where there are a lot of men and women looking out for suitable partners.
Suppose you bump into one or two people with whom you seem to strike an immediate rapport. You are then able to take this person out onto a balcony with just the moon to keep an eye on you.
You get to talk to this person for hours and hours; just talk and nothing else. You get to discuss likes and dislikes and final y when it is time to part you leave with a promise to meet on a fol owing day at an equal y enjoyable spot. These talks go on for days and weeks and final y you decide that this indeed is the THE person with whom you want to spend the rest of your life with.
Then of course you start meeting in more open places, you hold hands and even kiss.
You begin to go out for lunch and dinner and spend even more intimate time together.
When the moment is right and your decision is made, it then becomes time for you to say, “I do.”
Sigh! It sounds like a nice fairy tale, doesn’t it?
Wel it needn’t be. It could be your own love story because the concept of online dating is just what has been described above. If you click the right buttons everything could work out fine for you and we have evidence to prove it. Just take a look at the figures given below and you can behold for yourself what a universal phenomenon online dating has already become.
As I mentioned earlier, one of the best things about online dating is that it affords a lot of privacy. You can chat for hours, video conference, or do whatever it is you care to do without arousing the interest of others or attracting the wrong kind of attention. Al you need is a computer and Internet access everything becomes as discreet as can be. But along with that, may I add that we need a little bit of common sense as wel or else we might find ourselves within the clutches of many lurid monsters lurking out there.
Another good thing about online dating is that it saves a lot of money which otherwise you would have had to splurge each time you took someone out on a date. It is because of these reasons and many more personal reasons that thousands of people find online dating to be a great convenience.
How To Get The Most Out Of Online Dating Many people who decide to give online dating a try often end up with their hair singed and fingers burnt.
The reason we decided to put together such a manual is that online dating is not as simple as it looks. You need to know how to go about it in order to get the best out of it.
Most people do not like to take chances and when it comes to finding a life partner people do not want to take chances at al .
But you can relax for through this manual we wil be dealing with al the do’s and the don’ts and so the whole process wil be quite easy and enjoyable to you. This manual wil provide you with step-by-step instructions on how to being online dating.
We have no doubts about the decision-making abilities of our readers and so we do not propose to give a lot of advice on the issue. Our purpose is simply to provide a couple of guidelines which we hope our readers wil find valuable as they proceed in the attempt to find the perfect partner.
Step 1: Getting Started
Only fools rush in where angels fear to tread.
It is always best to approach unfamiliar territory with caution. You need to plan before you actual y go out there and start dealing your cards. Be sure about yourself and be sure about what you want. Just because anyone and everyone can type out whatever they want in a chat room doesn’t mean that we have to do the same.
The Internet has a wonderful quality of being accessible to every one. But this same quality attracts al kinds of people into it. But just because a lot of people who enter a chat room have only dirt on their minds, it doesn’t mean that everyone is like that. If you stick to the class that you have and maintain your poise, you can indeed get the right kind of response.
There are a lot of nice people using the Internet, but it al depends on what you do. Do onto others what you want them to do to you is the golden rule that applies here. There are no rules for the game. Al are players out there. But just because others are ruffians, it doesn’t mean that you have to be one too. Your approach is the only thing that can get you the kind of response that you want.
I don’t think that it is very sensible to decide al of the sudden that you would like to use the Internet to get a date. By just entering a chat room and saying “I’m available” you are merely putting yourself up for sale, and wil most likely not get the results you desire.
One point that al of us have to understand is that in a chat room, al are equal. Do not go by the misconception that entering a chat room is like sauntering into a bal room dressed in your best. Then everyone turns to stare at you and the most eligible person (read that as the sexiest person of the opposite sex) catches your eye and makes his or her way towards you.
That kind of thing happens only on James Bond movies and we al know that James Bond never goes in for a serious relationship. It’s al fun and games for him.
Where Do You Start?
The first tip we would like to give you is NOT to go straight away into a singles’ chat room and try to find somebody who would interest you. Al of us know that most of such chat rooms are virtual y flooded with people who have only one thing on their mind - sex.
So, no matter what you ask for, it always ends up in that and the purpose is defeated.
You wil never get the kind of person who kind of matches your interests and tastes.
Sometimes it can real y get quite infuriating. Everything starts off wel . You are having a nice conversation with a person and warming up when al of the sudden, the topic moves towards the three letter word. The you let out a sigh and either have to bar messages from that person and risk the person bad mouthing you in a public chat room. Usual y you have to leave the chat room al together.
In other words, it is the easiest thing to get someone to sleep with you but if you are looking for something more enduring, like a partner for life, then you are going to have to be a little more patient. The pick of the litter is not easy to find. But you do find it; it is going to be worth the effort.
So instead of going into a singles’ chat room, what you could do is, you could try the whole thing out from a different angle. You could try working backwards.
