5 Steps to Online Dating Success by Lekier VIII - HTML preview

The Secret is Charm

Al the things that have been said so far are about how you can create a favorable impression. There is something that is equal y or even more important than that, and that is to make the other person feel comfortable. Help the other person relax.

Any way you have been chatting for quite some time so you do know a great deal about each other. The best thing you can do is to ease the tension and break the ice.

Sometimes the ice gets so thick that you can literal y feel it. Break it up by cracking a joke or two.

But the joke should be spontaneous and in keeping with the situation or else it wil fal flat. Do not rehearse a joke because a rehearsed joke sounds…wel …rehearsed.

The key word here is charm. Use al the charm that you can muster. Try to be as considerate and as thoughtful as possible. Do not dominate the conversation but try to get the other person talking. People general y love to talk about themselves so try to get the other person talking by asking about the person’s work. Show interest in whatever the other person says.

Try to be a good conversationalist. A good conversationalist is not a person who talks wel , but is one who listens wel as wel . So try to be a good listener. And while you are listening try not to get distracted by something else or the other person might feel that you are losing interest in what he or she is saying.

Then comes the question, “what do you do if you find that the other person is dominating the conversation?”

Wel , in that case listen patiently for a minute or two and then give a subtle sign like a raised eyebrow or a smile through the corner of your mouth. If the other person is intel igent enough, he or she wil get the cue. If not, then take your chance, you might have to listen to this person for the rest of your life.

Humor rarely fails. But again take care not to over do it. There is only one thing worse than a total lack of humor and that is too much humor.

Gifts?

It is a good idea to take a gift along with you as that does create a good impression, but remember that when you are courting the gifts should be limited to flowers or chocolates only. While you are chatting try to find out what the other person likes in flowers and chocolates. You certainly don’t want to give the person flowers that he or she is al ergic to.

The object of your gift should not be to woo the person but to create a good and lasting impression. There is no sense in splurging a lot on your first date for there is no rule that every thing should work out wel the first time itself. Do not over do it and at the same time do not appear cheap and stingy either.

However if the other person has forgotten to bring you a gift, be quick to reassure the person that it is perfectly alright. Do not let the other person feel uneasy. In fact, that is a

wonderful way to make the conversation light. You can jokingly tel the other person to get you a gift the next time.

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Step 5: Once Bitten…

Many of my readers might be worried that everything does not work out like has been described, what would they do? Or in other words if this first date does not work out what should they do?

The answer is very simple, repeat the whole process again!

Let’s go back to where we started. Remember, this is a chance to find the partner for life so we might have to grow many plants before we get the right harvest.

I am not talking about two timing here. What I mean is that instead of putting al your eggs in one basket, keep the avenues open. Don’t just bank on one person, because if that doesn’t work out, you might lose heart. You can hope for the best but expect the contrary as wel .

Only the every lucky ones get the right pick at the first go it self. For the rest of us, we just have to keep trying til we succeed. Another advantage of trying out different people is that you can get to choose. It should not be that you just flipped for the first guy or girl who came your way. Take you time, give yourself some breathing space and then make the right decision.

Nobody can force you into making a commitment. It should be completely your choice.

Of course, if you get the right cues and something deep down inside tel s you that this is the right person for you, then what are you waiting for, go ahead and show the green signal.

But on the other hand if someone is trying to force you into making a commitment and you feel hard pressed, gently try to break away. Al you have to do is put your foot down very firmly and tel the person that you need more time.

However, it is not good to keep a person waiting indefinitely. Tel the person that you need perhaps a week’s time or more than that. But don’t let the person realize that you are checking out other people. Just tel them that this is probably the most important decision in your life so you just want to be sure.

In Closing…

I would like to add one word about signing off. In case things do not work out please take care to part graceful y. In such instances it is not the best decision to say such things over chat. The other person may put forward some very uncomfortable questions that you wil have a tough time answering.

The best thing you cold do is send the person an e-mail tel ing him or her that he or she was not real y what you had in mind, but you would like to remain good friends al the same.

You do not have to worry about being pestered by the other person in future; the “good friends” part never fails. Most people dislike to be cal ed a good friend after a close encounter. In most cases the relationship just sizzles out after this. However please remember that it is indeed bad manners to part with out a word and just stop answering mails without any information at al .

Some people do that because they do not want to offend the other person. But such cal ousness is real y worse.

So that is al about it. You know everything that is to be known and the bal is now wel and truly in your courts. So what are you waiting for, why don’t you go out there and make your presence felt and come back with the catch of a lifetime.

I don’t think that we have left any stones unturned and from here I’m sure that on your first date everything wil be wel in your control.

To your first dating success online!

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