The Evil Woodcutter
Inspired by a woodcutter's shed at the side of the motorway which I've been driving past since I was a child.
Once upon a time, there was a kindly woodcutter, who lived in a village with lots of children who loved to go and play in his workshop. They would climb over the piles of wood, sometimes hurt themselves on his sharp tools as children do, and beg the woodcutter to carve animals for them (which he would do if he wasn't too busy).
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At the edge of the village, there lived an evil witch, who loved eating children sandwiches, children curry and children ice cream. The problem was that she was so ugly and evil that the children never went near her cottage, so most of the time she had to make do with squirrel soup.
One night, she came up with a plan. She cast a spell that would make the children come to her cottage. Then she would be able to catch them and cook them.
The following day, all the children in the village went out to play, but instead of going to the woodcutter's workshop, they went to the witch's cottage. They were playing happily, and the witch watched hungrily from a window. But when she went out to catch them, she was so ugly and frightening that the spell broke, and all the children ran back home.
The witch was very angry, and came up with a new plan. That night, she cast two spells – one to bring the children to her house and one to make her appear beautiful and friendly.
The next morning, all the children again came to her house. But this time, when she came out, she looked so beautiful and friendly that the children did not run away. She started catching the children by throwing sacks over them, and hanging them from trees, where they could hang for a few days to become tender and juicy.
Suddenly the woodcutter appeared. He had been wondering why the children had stopped coming to his workshop and had followed them to the witch's cottage. Seeing what was happening, he chased the witch away with his axe. Once again, the spell was broken and the children ran home.
The witch was so furious that steam came whooshing out of her ears. So she thought long and hard, and came up with the perfect plan. She spent all that evening casting a spell which would turn the woodcutter evil and silence his tongue.
The next day, the children went to the woodcutter as before. But silently, as the children entered his workshop, he threw sacks over their heads and hung them up out the back to turn juicy and tender.
Later on that day, when the children did not return to their homes, their parents came looking for them. They searched everywhere, even the witch's cottage, but could not find them. Eventually, they went to ask the woodcutter if he had seen the children. He said nothing, but pointed out the back of his workshop. The parents went there and found all the children hanging up in sacks.
The woodcutter tried to explain what had happened but the witch's spell had silenced his tongue. The villagers were so angry that they chased him out of the village and told him never to return.
Over time, the woodcutter's good nature started to come back, but he was scared that if he ever saw any children again, he might try to take them to the witch. So he built a new workshop at the side of the motorway, as far from any children as he could. His workshop is still there to this very day. If you ever drive past, have a look round the back to see if you see any sacks hanging up.
As for the witch, she decided that eating children was just too much trouble, so she became vegetarian. Her favourite food is now chocolate-coated cabbage.