Contents
The Freshest Baker in the World 3
The Sausage Escape 7
The Comfiest Bed In The World 10
The Cloud Farmer 12
Superveg 15
The Fizzy Drinks 18
The Football Who Hated Being Kicked 20
The Evil Woodcutter 22
The Chewing Gum Race 24
The Piglet And The Wizard 26
Ash The Toilet 29
The Box and the Rat 31
The Volcano 34
The Light Switch and the Picture Frame 37
Lionel 39
The Paper Plane and the Moon 42
The Boy Who Ate Slowly 44
The Diamond Fields 46
The Mid Air Pizza 50
The Worn Out Toothbrush 53
The Strangest Sound 56
The Monsters 59
The Tree House 63
The Coal Mine 65
The Pylon 68
Glossary of words that James and Sam did not know 71
The Freshest Baker in the World
We thought this one up driving through Birmingham on a journey... can't remember why.
Once upon a time, in a big city not so very far from here, there was a small baker's shop. The rest of the city was full of giant superstores and hypermarkets, so it was very unusual to find small shops like this one.
However, this was a very unusual shop. The baker who owned the shop had magical powers that allowed him to bake the freshest bread in the world. He did not have cakes and loaves on display in the window like other bakers. Whatever his customers asked for, he would disappear out the back and return in just three seconds with whatever it was, freshly baked.
Bread rolls, muffins and chocolate cakes were easy, but the baker could also bake really unusual stuff. Once, a customer came in and asked for twelve pyramid-shaped bagels. “Just a moment!” said the baker, and disappeared out the back. Three seconds later, he returned with twelve fresh pyramid-shaped bagels.
 |
Now just across the road from the bakers was a large supermarket, which was run by an evil supermarket witch. She hated small shops. She thought everyone should buy everything from huge supermarkets like hers.
One day, she was wondering why her supermarket never sold as much bread and cakes as the supermarkets that her friends worked at. She asked some of her customers where they got their bread from and they told her about the bakers. This made her very angry.
“I must stop people shopping there!” she screeched. So that night, she cast an evil spell on the baker.
The next morning, the baker was in his shop getting ready for the day's business. The first customer came in, a young lady in a red dress, and asked for a square doughnut.
“No problem!” the baker said, and disappeared out the back.
After three seconds, he did not come back. After three more seconds, he still had not come back. By this time, the young lady was getting worried. She was a regular customer and had never had to wait more than three seconds before.
Eventually, the baker came back, but looked very puzzled.
“I don't understand it,” he said. “I tried making your doughnut, but it was made from wood. So I tried again, and it was still made from wood!”. He sadly held up the two wooden square doughnuts.
“Harrumph!” said the young lady in the red dress, and went across to the supermarket to get some boring old round doughnuts.
The supermarket witch had been watching all this from a small window in her supermarket. She cackled and rubbed her hands together with glee.
The next customer came in, a man wearing a stripy hat, and asked for a banana-shaped loaf of banana bread. The baker looked worried, but went out the back. After three seconds, he came back, by now looking quite frightened.
“I don't understand it!” he said, holding a nicely varnished, wooden, banana-shaped loaf of banana bread. “You may as well have it,” he said, giving it to the man in the stripy hat.
The man walked out and the baker followed him to the door.
“I don't understand it. I'll have to close the shop.”
And he slowly started to turn the “open” sign round so that it showed “closed”.
But outside, a passer-by noticed the man carrying the wooden banana bread. “That's a nice ornament,” he said, “Where's it from?”
“From this baker's shop. He's not much of a baker, but his woodworking is pretty good.”
So the passer-by went into the shop. The shopkeeper said, “I'm afraid we're closed. I don't do baking any more.”
But the passer-by said, “I don't want anything baked. I was wondering if you had a table in the shape of a camel.”
The baker thought for a moment, then said, “Let me see what I can do!”.
He disappeared out the back, and after just three seconds, he returned with a table shaped like a camel.
“Thank you very much!” said the passer-by. He went back home and told all his friends about the new woodwork shop.
Before long, word of the amazing woodwork shop had spread far and wide, and the baker had a constant stream of customers.
The supermarket witch, who had been very happy now that her bread and cake sales were up, started to notice that her furniture sales were falling. She asked a customer where people were buying their furniture these days.
“Why, from that new woodworker's shop across the road!”.
Furious, the witch ran out of her supermarket and into the baker's shop.
“Right,” she shouted, “I've had enough of you! I'm going to destroy your equipment once and for all!”. She pushed passed the baker and went out the back.
Three seconds went by. Another three seconds went by. Then the baker went out the back to see what had happened to her. To his surprise, there was no sign of the witch. But there was a life-sized, nicely varnished wooden carving of a witch.
“Goodness me!” said the baker. “What on earth shall I do with this?”
He carried it outside and left it in front of his shop, and there it stands to this day, showing passers-by that he is the freshest woodworker in the world.
 |