Chapter 6 – Miscalculations
When I got home, I called Chandler to tell him about my plan. He was less enthusiastic about it than I was.
“You want to what?!” he exclaimed.
“I want to pick a fight with Bruno to force Faedra to use her powers in order to rescue me,” I repeated.
“And exactly how is that supposed to work?”
“It’s simple,” I replied. “We find a good time and place to stage it – some time when we are changing classes, preferably when fewer teachers will be around. Faedra and I will ‘happen’ to come by just then. I’ll insult Bruno. He’ll get all worked up and threaten to beat the living crud out of me, and then Faedra will step up to the plate and save me – thus exposing her superpowers to the world.”
“What if she doesn’t ‘step up to the plate’ as you so eloquently put it? You do realize Bruno could kill you with one punch, don’t you? And how do you know she’s strong enough to stop him anyway?”
“Oh, she’s strong enough, alright. I looked up the weight of the Mustang they were working on; it weighs over 3,500 pounds.”
“Congratulations, you can look up the weight of a car on the internet. But how does that prove she’s stronger than Bruno?”
“You remember that week last year when you were out because you had those burns from that science experiment, something about fire-retardant hand sanitizer?”
“Yeah, I neglected to properly account for the change in the oxygenation of the air at our particular geographic location. I fixed that the following week.”
“Well, that was the week Bruno went to the state weight lifting competition for supers. He maxed out at 1,500 pounds on the bench press.”
“Wow, so she really is stronger than him... cool. But how do you know he won’t punch you before she can save you?”
“That will never happen.”
“And why not?”
“Because you’re going to be there with the gel gun.”
The gel gun was one of Chandler’s ‘off the books’ science projects. He had been developing it as a non-lethal weapon that could be used to stop people with super-strength during riots or crimes. I had been his guinea pig for phase one. The gel was super expansive, could be shot from a modified paintball gun, and acted like a fast-drying gel that essentially wrapped the target in a super-strong rubbery film. No matter how strong you were, you couldn’t break through it because it would stretch instead of tear. It was genius.
I could sense a smile creeping across Chandler’s face. He had been wanting to test it out on a real super-strong subject, but so far we hadn’t been able to recruit a super to help us out. He had been reduced to stopping riding lawn mowers and me on a bicycle – not the ideal test he had wanted. This would be the perfect chance to try it out.
“Okay,” he said. “I’m in.”
* * * * *
The bus that took Bruno home from school was the last one to load up after school dismissed. I knew this because I had to take that same bus home on the days when Chandler couldn’t give me and Faedra a ride. That would give us about ten minutes after the final bell rang to execute our plan – more than enough time to stage the fight with Bruno.
On Monday morning, when we were getting off of the bus at school, I handed Bruno a note.
“What’s this?” he asked as he stared at the note I had shoved in front of him.
“Just read it,” I said, trying to sound a bit tough. He opened the note, and then looked up at me and smiled.
“Okay super-not, I’ll be there.” He crumpled up the note and tossed it back to me.
Faedra frowned as she looked at me with a quizzical look on her face, and then she bent down to pick up the crumpled note. Her eyes got big, and her jaw dropped as she read it to herself.
“You, ‘hereby refuse to do any more of’ Bruno’s homework, and you challenge him to, ‘settle this once and for all, like men’ in the gym immediately after school today?”
“Yeah,” I replied, trying not to look too cocky.
“You do realize he could kill you with, like, one punch, don’t you?” she asked.
“Why does everybody keep bringing that up?”
“Because it’s true?”
“Yeah, look, that doesn’t necessarily mean we’re going to fight. I mean, there are other ways to settle a disagreement, you know.”
“Not with Bruno.”
“Well, just in case, will you come along so you can call the principal or something if he does decide to pummel me mercilessly?” I smiled sheepishly, hoping to look like I really needed her help. Apparently, it worked.
“I can’t believe you are doing this. I mean...” She let out a frustrated sigh. “Of course I’ll come so I can call for help if things get messy. I just can’t believe you are doing this. What are you thinking?”
“Hey, just because I’m a super-not doesn’t mean I don’t have any pride, you know?” That last statement came out a bit harsher than I’d intended. In fact, I felt my face getting hot when I said it. I was sick and tired of being treated like some helpless weakling by the likes of Bruno and the other supers, and now Faedra – a super trying to pass as a super-not – was doing the same thing.
“Okay, you don’t have to get mad at me. I just don’t want to see you get hurt, that’s all.”
That was exactly what I was counting on.
* * * * *
After the last bell, Faedra and I went to the gym, as planned. Chandler met us outside the entrance.
“Are you in on this, too?” Faedra asked when she saw him.
“Are you kidding? I wouldn’t miss this for the world.”
“Boys,” Faedra said with finality, shaking her head. I opened the door for her and let her enter the gym first. Then I turned to Chandler, and he opened his backpack slightly to reveal the gel gun.
Our plan was simple. I would trash-talk Bruno, and maybe push him if I couldn’t rile him enough with the trash-talk. Faedra would step in to protect me once Bruno got mad, and that would be the end of it. Chandler would only break out the gel gun if something went really wrong and I was getting hurt.
Bruno was already waiting at the far end of the gym. He was seated on the bottom bleacher. As I came closer, he stood up and walked over to me, a big smirk on his face.
“So what’s this about you not wanting to do homework for me anymore, super-not?”
He towered over me by a good five inches, and his breath stank like rotting meat. I wished silently for a breath mint to mask the smell.
“Look, it’s like this. If you’re too dumb to do your own work, then you’ll just have to fail your math class, because I’m not going to do it anymore, get it?” I poked a finger in his chest to emphasize my point. His chest was rock-solid muscle. I was beginning to feel nervous.
He looked down at my finger like it was a fairy that had just appeared out of thin air. “I can’t believe you just did that, super-not,” he chuckled.
“Oh yeah?” I replied. “Just what are you gonna do about it?” I started to prepare myself to get punched, but then I remembered I’d never been punched, and I didn’t know how you were supposed to prepare for it. So instead I just stood there, scowling up at Bruno’s big ugly face.
“Oh, this is what I’m gonna do about it.”
I glanced down as Bruno brought a roll of duct tape out from behind his back while grabbing me by the arm in a death grip with the other. He started walking towards the corner of the gym where the volleyball nets were stored.
“Hey, let me go!” I protested.
“Bruno, you can’t hurt him!” Faedra helpfully reminded him. “He’s a super-not; you hit him once and you’ll be suspended for the rest of the year. You know the rules about super-strongs getting in fights.”
Why doesn’t she just use her superpowers and make this guy let me go? I thought. I knew Bruno was strong, but I’d seen Faedra lift a car off of the ground without a struggle. I knew she was stronger than Bruno. What was she waiting for?
“Yeah, yeah, yeah, I’m not gonna hurt the little twerp. I’m gonna do something better than that.”
He pushed me up against a metal pole set in cement with a tire around the bottom – the kind used to support the volley ball nets. “Don’t move,” he said, letting my arm go to extend about a foot of the tape. This wasn’t looking good.
“I’m calling the principal,” Faedra declared, whipping out her cell phone and beginning to type furiously.
I decided it was time to leave. I stepped down off of the tire and tried to walk past him, but by this time he had extended the tape another foot. He pushed me back up against the poles and began wrapping the tape around me before I could get away. Thirty seconds later, he had a good start on turning me into a duct-taped mummy.
Chandler was tilting his head and raising his eyebrows while he looked at me and raised his backpack slightly. I shook my head from side to side. We couldn’t blow our cover and still expect Faedra to act. Although, it did look like the plan was turning into a total failure. At least I still had all of my teeth.
Bruno took something out of his back pocket and taped it to my chest, and then stood back to admire his work. Taking out his own cell phone, he pointed it at me for several seconds before turning away and walking towards the exit. I could hear him say as he was leaving, “This is gonna be good.”